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    I'm in a completely hopeless state at the minute and I have no idea how I've let myself get here or what I'm going to do to get out. I suffer from depression but can't get on a waiting list because by the time I get help I'll be in university in a different country. I genuinely hate my appearance and feel I have too many flaws for anyone to think anything positively of me or love me. I recently found out that I may have a septate hymen which makes me feel that I'm even weirder and won't be able to have sex in the future. I know it's nothing major but it has knocked my already dwindling confidence. I'm struggling to motivate myself for exams don't leave the house and I curse myself for being so damn weak and fragile. Can I pick myself up and how??
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    Well that is a shame about your septate hymen. You can't really get over that and it is an issue in terms of your future. Do you have medical depression or are you just having problems. I have had depression because I was having problems. Maybe you don't care about exams right now and you just want to be left alone to contemplate your issues.
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    (Original post by william walker)
    Well that is a shame about your septate hymen. You can't really get over that and it is an issue in terms of your future. Do you have medical depression or are you just having problems. I have had depression because I was having problems. Maybe you don't care about exams right now and you just want to be left alone to contemplate your issues.
    How will it affect me in the future? I don't know much about it. I've had depression since I was 15 and I've tried tablets and stuff but I'm just in a bad place at the minute. Sorry to hear you've been having issues too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How will it affect me in the future? I don't know much about it. I've had depression since I was 15 and I've tried tablets and stuff but I'm just in a bad place at the minute. Sorry to hear you've been having issues too.
    Well if you can't have sex you can't have children or a relationship which involves sex. It will affect your future. I think you need to spend some time thinking about it, getting an operation and understanding what it means.

    How old are you know. So do you have medical depression? I had issues 6-7 years ago when I was at school.
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    (Original post by william walker)
    Well if you can't have sex you can't have children or a relationship which involves sex. It will affect your future. I think you need to spend some time thinking about it, getting an operation and understanding what it means.

    How old are you know. So do you have medical depression? I had issues 6-7 years ago when I was at school.
    Well I need to see the nurse to discuss things with her. I mean if I can get an operation I will because I want to be able to be intimate with a guy in the future. I'm 18 and was diagnosed by a doctor last year.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I need to see the nurse to discuss things with her. I mean if I can get an operation I will because I want to be able to be intimate with a guy in the future. I'm 18 and was diagnosed by a doctor last year.
    Indeed. A guy from said I had depression when I was 16. I don't get medical depression to be honest. It just seems to anyone who is down or having problems has depression and they give you tablets to take. Also why do you feel you are ugly?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I genuinely hate my appearance and feel I have too many flaws for anyone to think anything positively of me or love me.
    people dont fall in love with perfection, they fall in love with flaws. the trick is finding someone who loves your particular set of flaws

    the exams thing sort of sets you up for the future so that should be your main concern now. but in terms of leaving the house, its hard if you dont have an active friend group. maybe little things like going food shopping for small amounts every 2 days so your mum/self doesnt have to do a big weekly shop. Do you drive? driving lessons might be a way. if you already drive that opens up even more possibilities.

    But in my experience all of that is pointless if you dont have the motivation to do it all. and im afraid i have not figured out how to get round that one yet
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    I do not know whether you are religious or not, but when I am struggling , I pray to God.
    "There is ease after every hardship"
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    Hang on, hang on. Why would a septate hymen stop her having sex, relationships, children? That's really not helping here.

    'Septate hymen' isn't a diagnosis of a terrible disease, it's a variation on a hymen. Ff it doesn't break (like any other hymen..) or causes you too much discomfort or you simply don't want to worry about it, it is very simple and un-invasive to have it quickly (and usually painlessly) surgically corrected. The hymen itself has no nerve endings, as I recall, so even post-operatively it's not a painful or troublesome thing to have done; it's not like you have to be put to sleep and have your tummy cut open.
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    (Original post by william walker)
    Indeed. A guy from said I had depression when I was 16. I don't get medical depression to be honest. It just seems to anyone who is down or having problems has depression and they give you tablets to take. Also why do you feel you are ugly?
    The help they give is awful to be fair. I've never really had attention off guys and now with the whole hymen thing, it just makes me even more unappealing.
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    Anon, PM me


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    (Original post by Smilin’ Knight)
    people dont fall in love with perfection, they fall in love with flaws. the trick is finding someone who loves your particular set of flaws

    the exams thing sort of sets you up for the future so that should be your main concern now. but in terms of leaving the house, its hard if you dont have an active friend group. maybe little things like going food shopping for small amounts every 2 days so your mum/self doesnt have to do a big weekly shop. Do you drive? driving lessons might be a way. if you already drive that opens up even more possibilities.

    But in my experience all of that is pointless if you dont have the motivation to do it all. and im afraid i have not figured out how to get round that one yet
    Thank you. I just worry I'm too messed up for someone, you know? Once exams are over I can focus on my health and try and get stronger.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a completely hopeless state at the minute and I have no idea how I've let myself get here or what I'm going to do to get out. I suffer from depression but can't get on a waiting list because by the time I get help I'll be in university in a different country. I genuinely hate my appearance and feel I have too many flaws for anyone to think anything positively of me or love me. I recently found out that I may have a septate hymen which makes me feel that I'm even weirder and won't be able to have sex in the future. I know it's nothing major but it has knocked my already dwindling confidence. I'm struggling to motivate myself for exams don't leave the house and I curse myself for being so damn weak and fragile. Can I pick myself up and how??
    You remind of myself in a way I too don't know how I have allow myself to get to this stage I was recent told by a few people that I'm hot and to be honest I don't feel like it I have so many flaws but one step at time I'm starting to accept them and so should you. I'm struggling at uni and I have no friends. I'm considering getting counselling although my parents once tried this with me when I was younger but I never spoke to the counsellor. I kind of cried reading this I wish I could really help you as I can relate to how you feel. I suggest you seek counselling as well you have to start somewhere depression is a b word, hang in there.
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    (Original post by Friar Chris)
    Hang on, hang on. Why would a septate hymen stop her having sex, relationships, children? That's really not helping here.

    'Septate hymen' isn't a diagnosis of a terrible disease, it's a variation on a hymen. Ff it doesn't break (like any other hymen..) or causes you too much discomfort or you simply don't want to worry about it, it is very simple and un-invasive to have it quickly (and usually painlessly) surgically corrected. The hymen itself has no nerve endings, as I recall, so even post-operatively it's not a painful or troublesome thing to have done; it's not like you have to be put to sleep and have your tummy cut open.
    So it's nothing too bad? After the operation, it wouldn't be a mess down there or too loose? I just don't want to repulse guys to be honest. Thank you for your input, a bit more comforting to hear.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So it's nothing too bad? After the operation, it wouldn't be a mess down there or too loose? I just don't want to repulse guys to be honest. Thank you for your input, a bit more comforting to hear.
    It would be a 100% normal vagina. The hymen is just a small bit of tissue at the opening with no function in sex, and the aesthetic result would almost certainly be a totally normal-looking vulva as well as totally normally functioning one.
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    (Original post by Friar Chris)
    It would be a 100% normal vagina. The hymen is just a small bit of tissue at the opening with no function in sex, and the aesthetic result would almost certainly be a totally normal-looking vulva as well as totally normally functioning one.
    Thank you so much! At least that's put my mind to rest a little on that matter. I have to go to see the nurse about it but I'm terrified in case it's worse than that. Here's hoping it'll all work itself out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much! At least that's put my mind to rest a little on that matter. I have to go to see the nurse about it but I'm terrified in case it's worse than that. Here's hoping it'll all work itself out.
    Well you know how everyone has a hymen, and it's typically broken either during first sexual intercourse (or before)? Their lady-parts don't become a 'mess' or 'loose' as a result, so if you need surgery for a septate hymen it's no different; it's just being broken in a more controlled environment because it's a bit more difficult than normal.

    Surgical stuff:
    Spoiler:
    Show

    I believe (though I'm no expert as it's not something I've ever been involved with at work) that it's usually done by tying off the 'ends' of the septate component with bands to close blood vessels and then cutting away the unwanted bit down the middle between those ties. Obviously this would all be done with appropriate pain relief and sedation as necessary, but it's as simple as that I believe.
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    (Original post by Friar Chris)
    Well you know how everyone has a hymen, and it's typically broken either during first sexual intercourse (or before)? Their lady-parts don't become a 'mess' or 'loose' as a result, so if you need surgery for a septate hymen it's no different; it's just being broken in a more controlled environment because it's a bit more difficult than normal.

    Surgical stuff:
    Spoiler:
    Show

    I believe (though I'm no expert as it's not something I've ever been involved with at work) that it's usually done by tying off the 'ends' of the septate component with bands to close blood vessels and then cutting away the unwanted bit down the middle between those ties. Obviously this would all be done with appropriate pain relief and sedation as necessary, but it's as simple as that I believe.
    Thank you very much! You have managed to supply more knowledge on the issue than I could find really. I'll see what the doctor says and hope it is as simple as that. Thanks.
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    (Original post by ansz28)
    Anon, PM me


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    It's very kind of you and everything but I don't want to come off anon because this whole issue is embarrassing, thanks though.
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    Fair enough anon, I've been through a very similar experience if you do need to talk


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