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Feeling down about being introverted? a bit of a ramble about my life :')

Hi I'll try to make this post as short as possible!
Sorry it;s so long! Skip to the last paragraph if you wish!


So I was happy until I moved schools two years ago for Sixth Form, from a really small school to a larger one that I suppose is a lot posher. At my old school we all knew each other and were really close, and I had a few really close best friends, so it was quite a change. I didn't feel like I fitted in at the new school for ages, and so I felt really lonely and saw myself as more and more of an outsider. I found the people quite stuck up and their whole "banter" annoying and superficial, and it's not my sense of humour.
For Upper sixth I've moved back to my old school - yay! But I'm still really down. Last year I lost loads of my confidence and became really quiet, and I got down about how "quiet" a person I am, because I really don't want to be like that. I think I developed social anxiety, worrying and overthinking every social situation, and it hasn't gone away. I can talk to people fine, but I overthink it all so much and go away scrutinizing how awkward I was. When I talk to people I'm really self conscious and thinking how awful I'm coming off and sounding etc and how awkward I am, and analysing the way other people talk and how great and confident they are, and how i'm not like that.
I know it's ridiculous but it's become automatic and it's really distracting from the actual conversation, like now i barely listen to what they say and I can;t think of a reply. I find talking to people so stressful and tiring that it isn't enjoyable anymore.
I spend so much time dwelling on all the aspects of my personality and how i hate them and how i'm not confident etc. And one main thing that makes me feel really different to everyone else is that I'm an introvert? I was completely normal, maybe slightly shy before, but when i moved schools I just like had a realisation that I'm so different to everyone else. I found every day draining and I thought it must be because i'm introverted. (it was probably not fittingin and lack of sleep etc)
I feel like i just can't cheer up because i feel like my brain is programmed to think internally to myself rather than loudly to other people, and that I'm never really going to live in the external, real world. Like I've started accepting that I'm just an internally focused person, and believing everything i've read on the internet about introverts, and i'm now convinced that i;m so different to everyone else, and that i'm never going to be happy or successful or ever fit in or be confident because of it? I just don't enjopy hanging around friends or talking to anyone anymore because of all of this, so at the moment i just revise at lunchtime to avoid the anxiety of it all.
I'm also generally a deep thinker and quite analytical, and I've been looking things up on the internet and getting down about it :/ stupid move, i know. I feel like Charlie in the Perks of being a Wallflower, who just watched life go on around them and admires how weird and wonderful it is, without actually being a part of it!? I'm worrying that at uni in september, i will feel lonely and hate it because i've lost my confidence etc. I don't know if i even want to study this kind of thing in psychology at uni now, haha!
This year my dad and my gran have died, so I feel lonely and different, and thinking about deeper things. I'm constantly super stressed and edgy about A levels and it's horrible! Recently I've been going around constantly in deep thought, to the point where I can't really snap out of it for very long, as I'm just always thinking/stressing. Like when i talk to people i'm just distracted by my thoughts, or i'm anxious or whatever. I think I'm experiencing derealisation, as everything seems really surreal to me right now.

Okay I will stop moaning!! Tomorrow I'm going to book to see a counsellor, to see if that will help?
i suppose I am just asking if anybody feels somewhat similar, and if you think being introverted is not such a bad thing? Or if other introverts aren't bothered by it? I know I didn't used to be.
Sounds like you can't find people who truly understand you, I have a similar problem.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi :smile: I'll try to make this post as short as possible!
Sorry it;s so long! Skip to the last paragraph if you wish!


So I was happy until I moved schools two years ago for Sixth Form, from a really small school to a larger one that I suppose is a lot posher. At my old school we all knew each other and were really close, and I had a few really close best friends, so it was quite a change. I didn't feel like I fitted in at the new school for ages, and so I felt really lonely and saw myself as more and more of an outsider. I found the people quite stuck up and their whole "banter" annoying and superficial, and it's not my sense of humour.
For Upper sixth I've moved back to my old school - yay! But I'm still really down. Last year I lost loads of my confidence and became really quiet, and I got down about how "quiet" a person I am, because I really don't want to be like that. I think I developed social anxiety, worrying and overthinking every social situation, and it hasn't gone away. I can talk to people fine, but I overthink it all so much and go away scrutinizing how awkward I was. When I talk to people I'm really self conscious and thinking how awful I'm coming off and sounding etc and how awkward I am, and analysing the way other people talk and how great and confident they are, and how i'm not like that.
I know it's ridiculous but it's become automatic and it's really distracting from the actual conversation, like now i barely listen to what they say and I can;t think of a reply. I find talking to people so stressful and tiring that it isn't enjoyable anymore.
I spend so much time dwelling on all the aspects of my personality and how i hate them and how i'm not confident etc. And one main thing that makes me feel really different to everyone else is that I'm an introvert? I was completely normal, maybe slightly shy before, but when i moved schools I just like had a realisation that I'm so different to everyone else. I found every day draining and I thought it must be because i'm introverted. (it was probably not fittingin and lack of sleep etc)
I feel like i just can't cheer up because i feel like my brain is programmed to think internally to myself rather than loudly to other people, and that I'm never really going to live in the external, real world. Like I've started accepting that I'm just an internally focused person, and believing everything i've read on the internet about introverts, and i'm now convinced that i;m so different to everyone else, and that i'm never going to be happy or successful or ever fit in or be confident because of it? I just don't enjopy hanging around friends or talking to anyone anymore because of all of this, so at the moment i just revise at lunchtime to avoid the anxiety of it all.
I'm also generally a deep thinker and quite analytical, and I've been looking things up on the internet and getting down about it :/ stupid move, i know. I feel like Charlie in the Perks of being a Wallflower, who just watched life go on around them and admires how weird and wonderful it is, without actually being a part of it!? I'm worrying that at uni in september, i will feel lonely and hate it because i've lost my confidence etc. I don't know if i even want to study this kind of thing in psychology at uni now, haha!
This year my dad and my gran have died, so I feel lonely and different, and thinking about deeper things. I'm constantly super stressed and edgy about A levels and it's horrible! Recently I've been going around constantly in deep thought, to the point where I can't really snap out of it for very long, as I'm just always thinking/stressing. Like when i talk to people i'm just distracted by my thoughts, or i'm anxious or whatever. I think I'm experiencing derealisation, as everything seems really surreal to me right now.

Okay I will stop moaning!! Tomorrow I'm going to book to see a counsellor, to see if that will help?
i suppose I am just asking if anybody feels somewhat similar, and if you think being introverted is not such a bad thing? Or if other introverts aren't bothered by it? I know I didn't used to be.

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