Can anyone help me and give me gcse grade on this piece of descriptive writing
I miss your looks… I miss your sounds… I miss everything about you. The bell sounds. School is over. Jumping out of my chair, I think about us together. Me holding you in my arms, caressing your neck ever so gently. Your beautiful curves and edges mesmerize me. As I wait for the bus, I can almost feel the bond between us pulling us closer and closer together, like a young duckling to its mother. The excitement is coursing through my veins!
Staring through the dirty glass window of the old fragile bus, I reminisce about the times we have spent together. I remember a time when I questioned our relationship. “What am I doing?” But it wasn’t until now that I had found an answer. The feeling of adrenaline and passion I feel when I am with you is indescribable. I remember the times when we would create pieces of art together, beautiful sounds would fill the air with joy and happiness.
Finally! After what had seems like a lifetime, the bus had reached my stop. Hurriedly, I made my way of the bus and towards my front drive. My hands shaking. I felt two urges: an urge to see you and urge to hold you. Putting my keys in the lock, i push the front door open. You are waiting for me in my room like you are everyday: My Fender CD-60 Acoustic Guitar. Oh, how I love you!
Time freezes as i stand still and let my eyes get lost in your natural elegance. I can smell the wonderful red mahogany from across the room. Tickling my nose as the aroma wafts up my nasal passage. I study closely the intricate and unique patterns carved into your neck, each detail a part of your beauty. Some people choose to play with a plectrum; however I choose to play with my bare hands as I want to feel and capture your true beauty and your true exquisiteness. Your touch gives me the feeling of complete tranquillity.
I make my towards you, my hands sweating. I gently pick you up by the neck and hold you in my hands. As i start to play, your strings start to vibrate, resonating to my ears; with sweet and adventurous notes as each finger plucks at a string vigorously. Music to my ears! I can hear the rhythm's pattern and it's clear tune as the audience in my head watch in awe of us. Playing on, I feel all of my worries fade away into the music and a feeling of complete serenity slowly flows through my body, from my head all the way to my toes. I feel complete. At last!
I dream of us growing old together and still creating the delightful music that we thrive from. I dream of us creating memories that we will always remember for as long as we are on this earth. I dream of us making people smile everyday and making a difference in their lives. I dream.
Will all of this become a reality? I dream… I hope...
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Grade for this piece of decriptive writing watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-05-2015 18:57
Offline21ReputationRep:TSR Community Team
- TSR Community Team
- 11-05-2015 17:16
Heya, I'm going to put this in the English forum for you as you should get more responses there.
You should also check out the forum to see if there's any other threads there which might be helpful to you!