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Help Smash get a nice ass again Watch

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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    hey guys I think it'd really help me with my motivation and understanding form if people posted nice pics of asses and squatting videos
    Apologies to be nosey,

    but why do you particularly want a 'nice ass' ?? I don't think I've ever seen a male pursue an aesthetically pleasing behind. I know guys that want to strengthen it, as it serves a vital purpose in strength training, but purely for aesthetic reasons? Very odd (No offence of course)
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    (Original post by JD1lla)
    Apologies to be nosey,

    but why do you particularly want a 'nice ass' ?? I don't think I've ever seen a male pursue an aesthetically pleasing behind. I know guys that want to strengthen it, as it serves a vital purpose in strength training, but purely for aesthetic reasons? Very odd (No offence of course)
    a) I'm bi-curious and like cupping my own arse

    b) I like getting pinched squeezed and groped by old ladies

    c) If it's strong and firm it will be one thing of the bucket list before I'm dead, along with eat the Shire Burger at the Hungry Horse and arm-wrestle that cocky **** Gaston in Disneyworld
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    Squat
    When you're thinking of making a workout planner- squat
    When you're hungry- eat dem proteinz
    When you're thinking of watching sth on netflx- squat
    When you're having an existential crisis- squat
    When you're squatting- squat
    When you're not squatting squat.

    I did squats for a whole year and got myself a nice pair of melons :hubba:
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    Then I binged on cereal for a another year and didn't squat anymore :sad:
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    I'm not the only one eating cereal without milk, am I ? :erm:
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    (Original post by LaMandarine)
    Squat
    When you're thinking of making a workout planner- squat
    When you're hungry- eat dem proteinz
    When you're thinking of watching sth on netflx- squat
    When you're having an existential crisis- squat
    When you're squatting- squat
    When you're not squatting squat.

    I did squats for a whole year and got myself a nice pair of melons :hubba:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Then I binged on cereal for a another year and didn't squat anymore :sad:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I'm not the only one eating cereal without milk, am I ? :erm:
    All the ass to grass work went straight to your cleavage? Impressive :sexface: although your butt must have been dissatisfied by that turn in events...

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    Do you think that if I squat within an hour of eating Frosties, Tony will help my ass taste grrrrreeeeat?

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    I tend to eat it with the blood of virgins, so don't worry

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    (Original post by NatalieBlundell)
    A few things I do include squatting, lunges & running. They are all great for your glutes. Squatting alone or using a single piece of equipment in the gym won't get you results. You need variety and to work all of the muscles in and around you bum.

    Another handy thing I like to do is when walking, tense your buttcheeks for 10 seconds then release. Do this a few times a day whilst walking to work or for something to eat and you will have a lovely bum in no time
    u gon squat or nah
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    All the ass to grass work went straight to your cleavage? Impressive :sexface: although your butt must have been dissatisfied by that turn in events...
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    :rofl2: Bwahahahaha, where I come from we actually call perky butts "melons", but this reminded me of this
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    Though I did actually go up one cup size this year :hubba:
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    Also one dress size :sad: bye bye size 8, too poor to buy new clothes though :cry:



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    (Original post by Blackshadow)
    So your ass weighs 8 stones. What about the rest of you?
    omg no! The whole of me weighs 8 stone I don't know how I could just weigh my ass alone
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    (Original post by NatalieBlundell)
    omg no! The whole of me weighs 8 stone I don't know how I could just weigh my ass alone
    You chop it off..
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    (Original post by Blackshadow)
    You chop it off..
    Oh right my bad, I'll just go do that now
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    (Original post by NatalieBlundell)
    Oh right my bad, I'll just go do that now
    Post it to me..I'll pm you my address

    IMA BE HAVING STEAAAAAK TONIGHT.

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    (Original post by Blackshadow)
    Post it to me..I'll pm you my address

    IMA BE HAVING STEAAAAAK TONIGHT.


    hahahah, nothing beats a fine piece of ass, great source of protein!
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    I have a totally gigantic ass.

    Mostly just genetic though - I have naturally huge legs, which are proportionally short compared to my torso (and just short full-stop, since I'm 5'5, so yes, they are tree-trunks) and that's also where I store most of my fat. I mean, I know there's a lot of fat since when I shake my legs a lot of the flesh on the inner bit of the thigh bounces about and my quadriceps themselves aren't very defined from the side when not tensed and despite having gigantic thighs I still struggle to squat 110KG...

    They still look good though. Look like any rugby player's legs and they're still good for wrestling since they weigh a ****ing ton.

    Sorry OP I can't even help you.
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    (Original post by NatalieBlundell)
    hahahah, nothing beats a fine piece of ass, great source of protein!
    I have a big ass. Too big I think. Pm me.


    Do it.
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    I'm really not here to dispute your goals because that really brings no joy. It's really not that complicated: the primary function of the biggest arse muscle (the glute max) is hip extension. So pattern hip extension stuff until you are good at it and you can feel your arse working. Then load the pattern (with 'enough' volume, whatever that is for you.)

    The name of the game is progressive overload. So you need to do something that is challenging...for you. If you sit on your arse all day and do nothing. Then it is quite probable you will get some glute hypertrophy doing running or rowing or whatever. It's still an improvement over basically nothing. If you are remotely serious about training it then you load it up with exercises and movements that can be loaded up for your given motor pattern. The big ones would probably be a squat / hip thrust / RDL / Kettlebell Swing type motion.

    Stop overanalysing and just put in some work.
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    (Original post by The Blind Monk)
    Stop overanalysing and just put in some work.
    Riku is the king of overanalysing lifting but never actually lifting...
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    I recommend giving 'Strong Glutes' by Brett Coleman a read. It's aimed towards women but men can follow the programme too, he explains the importance of really engaging your Glutes in all exercises and in fact daily life.


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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I have a totally gigantic ass.

    Mostly just genetic though - I have naturally huge legs, which are proportionally short compared to my torso (and just short full-stop, since I'm 5'5, so yes, they are tree-trunks) and that's also where I store most of my fat. I mean, I know there's a lot of fat since when I shake my legs a lot of the flesh on the inner bit of the thigh bounces about and my quadriceps themselves aren't very defined from the side when not tensed and despite having gigantic thighs I still struggle to squat 110KG...

    They still look good though. Look like any rugby player's legs and they're still good for wrestling since they weigh a ****ing ton.

    Sorry OP I can't even help you.
    So came here just to brag about your sexy ass but have nothing to help me acquire my own?

    (Original post by illusionz)
    Riku is the king of overanalysing lifting but never actually lifting...
    hey bro I will have you know back in Year 11 I could bench tree fiddy
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I have a totally gigantic ass.

    Mostly just genetic though - I have naturally huge legs, which are proportionally short compared to my torso (and just short full-stop, since I'm 5'5, so yes, they are tree-trunks) and that's also where I store most of my fat. I mean, I know there's a lot of fat since when I shake my legs a lot of the flesh on the inner bit of the thigh bounces about and my quadriceps themselves aren't very defined from the side when not tensed and despite having gigantic thighs I still struggle to squat 110KG...

    They still look good though. Look like any rugby player's legs and they're still good for wrestling since they weigh a ****ing ton.

    Sorry OP I can't even help you.
    So came here just to brag about your sexy ass but have nothing to help me acquire my own?

    (Original post by illusionz)
    Riku is the king of overanalysing lifting but never actually lifting...
    hey bro I will have you know back in Year 11 I could bench tree fiddy
    (Original post by hermitthefrog)
    I recommend giving 'Strong Glutes' by Brett Coleman a read. It's aimed towards women but men can follow the programme too, he explains the importance of really engaging your Glutes in all exercises and in fact daily life.


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    well I tried tensing it as Natalie suggested while walking, but I literally could not feel it.

    Serious uestion: I has bad sleep pattern/insomnia anxiety safrog :ashamed2: will this be bad for my ass?
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    (Original post by The Blind Monk)
    I'm really not here to dispute your goals because that really brings no joy. It's really not that complicated: the primary function of the biggest arse muscle (the glute max) is hip extension. So pattern hip extension stuff until you are good at it and you can feel your arse working. Then load the pattern (with 'enough' volume, whatever that is for you.)

    The name of the game is progressive overload. So you need to do something that is challenging...for you. If you sit on your arse all day and do nothing. Then it is quite probable you will get some glute hypertrophy doing running or rowing or whatever. It's still an improvement over basically nothing. If you are remotely serious about training it then you load it up with exercises and movements that can be loaded up for your given motor pattern. The big ones would probably be a squat / hip thrust / RDL / Kettlebell Swing type motion.

    Stop overanalysing and just put in some work.
    In all seriousness, however long it takes to implement and understand, I appreciate this advice

    Even though I'm on the move, I feel my chronic sleep loss is making everything atrophy

    why would you need to dispute my goals? Haha
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    why would you need to dispute my goals? Haha
    Most men don't give two ****s about glute hypertrophy. It's an unusual interest to have.

    With regards to the advice to squeeze your butt cheeks. It's not wrong per se but the important thing is to be able to do it and feel the glutes work on movements like the hip thrust.

    Lie down on the floor and do a hip thrust. Take 4-5 seconds up and 4-5 seconds on the way down. While you do this, put a finger on each glute and feel the contraction. If you feel the movement primarily in your lower back or hamstrings, then you're doing it incorrectly (for this purpose) and you will need to play about with the movement. After a while, you will not need to move slowly to feel this contraction and load it heavily.

    Eventually it may be useful to use a bench (or hip thrust bench) with a barbell to do the movement. In all honesty, this is probably a better glute hypertrophy movement than the squat. Plenty of small women are doing north of 100kg so no excuses for not hitting at least that for reps.

    http://bretcontreras.com/how-to-hip-thrust/ will probably be somewhat useful to you as well.

    Now go train
 
 
 
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