I mean, if you're not attracted to them on a gut level, it's not your fault. Why do societies standards expect people to try to battle their basic human instincts and force themselves to be sexually attracted to someone that they can't?
I think it's shallow not to like someone and treat them badly simply over appearance, but if you're not sexually attracted to them, it's can't be your fault, right?
If a female isn't sexually attracted to males under a certain height, it's seen as shallow, and if a male prefers females that are skinnier, why is he seen as wrong for doing so?
Sure, it sucks to be on the receiving end of it where you are the one getting rejected for your appearance, but that is natural and just sexual selection doing it's thing. Life isn't fair in that not everyone is born with a pretty face, in the same way not everyone is born into a multimillionaire family.
Turn on thread page Beta
Why are people seen as 'shallow' for rejecting someone else over appearance? watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-05-2015 20:39
- 10-05-2015 20:41
It's not shallow, but looks don't even matter if you pay no attention to opposite sex
- 10-05-2015 20:44
It's not shallow.
- 10-05-2015 20:49
I think it's when people whinge about not finding someone and then go and turn down a lot of people because they're too picky and think they 'can do better'. It's those people who are looking for long-term, serious commitments, rather than casual relationships where looks can be the only thing tying them together, and fair enough if it suits them both. It also could be a youth thing - some are blinded by age, thinking they will never get there. Even if they did choose someone deemed good-looking, it will eventually fade and someone else will be 'better-looking'. So what will hold the relationship in the end when the looks have inevitably dulled? That's what people mean by shallow - only choosing someone solely on their looks. Overall, I don't think anyone's denying that looks aren't important. I'm not sure why you're anonymous for this post xxLast edited by NeverTooLatte; 10-05-2015 at 20:51.
- 10-05-2015 21:29
I don't think it is seen as shallow. Perhaps being completely obsessed with your own and others looks, to the exclusion of everything else, can be judged a bit shallow But by and large you can fancy who you fancy. As you say it can be a bit gloomy to be on the receiving end, but that's life..
- 12-05-2015 10:04
I totally agree with this, it's natural for people to be attracted to someone they find sensually appealing.
Rejecting someone because you don't find themvisually attractive is no more shallow than rejecting someone because they smell bad.Anyone who critcises someone for this is judgemental (which is ironically very superficial in itself) and just trying to feel better about themselves because they are unsure about there own path in life and trying to drag others down with them.
Not that i'm saying everyone does think the sam eway - some people value a relationship based an sensual attractions more than others.
Also, caring for ones appearance or that of others,doesn’t make one 'insecure', again, that's just them being judgemental - some people just naturally prioritise taking pride in their appearance and being beautiful and being surrounded by beautiful things, because it naturally makes their life more vibrant and fills their life with joy. They're just hard-wired this way, just as other may naturally be more inclined towards intellectual pursuits like philosophy or math and others towards particular creative ventures.
The values are not black and white either - a group of people can value all three of these facets for example, but how they prioritise each, will be different.
They can change from time to time too. So if someone values looks the most now, they may value something else the most 20 years from now. Though, the more beautiful a person, the more they will be pulled towards them, even if their priorities have slowly changed over 20 years.
See how complicated things are if your try to look at things more intricately? So please don't over think things and try to bevery pedantic about your reasoning because you will just start driving yourself mad esp if you're being honest with yourself and it's something as innocent as choosing a partner.
Just live how it comes to you naturally! Regardless of how weird or bad anyoneelse says you are for it because those are there standards, not yours. Do this and you’ll begin to attract more like minded people. eLast edited by Te346; 12-05-2015 at 10:07.