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How sexually liberated are you? Which of these categories do you fall into? Watch

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    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    I think you two should get a room so you can show her how much of a 'real man' you are...
    He hasn't even hit puberty yet though. Ew. :innocent::hmmm:
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    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    you dont sound very sexually liberal to me tbh, you sound quite authoritarian and close minded, like you think everyone should have the exact same interpretation and feelings towards sex that you do and if they don't then they're wrong. Actually a lot of people don't want to have casual sex and casual sex is not fine for these people, because in order to be happy they require a deeper emotional and mental connection with someone before also being as physically connected as you can be with them. Likewise there is nothing wrong with people who like regular loving sex rather than sex based upon things you might see in hardcore porn, toys, rape fantasies etc.


    But despite this it's quite obvious that you made your caterogies 1-4 in order of what you think is the best to worst views on sex. That you try to make out like people who arent porn stars must feel guilty about sex and youre quite judgmental about how people want to connect with other people, trying to force your own casual view onto everyone. Very obvious that you're looking down on people in category 3 and also all your categories are loaded because they lump together many things which dont need to be associated with one another, such as wanting to be in a serious relationship and not wanting to experiment in the bedroom for example. So stupid loaded categories too.

    Also "no inhibitions" in category 1, that would be just going around raping everyone then.
    This. I totally agree, apart from maybe the last sentence. I think when they said no inhibitions they meant not feeling guilty or ashamed of doing sexual things with other people as long as it doesn't inconvenience or harm other people. Raping people and Masturbating in public definitely does not come under that. OP makes it out as if it's 'bad' to not be so sexually 'liberated' and to want a monogamous relationship. As I've answered before, I am a number 1 but only with my partner, and that doesn't mean I'm any less 'adventurous' so to speak.
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    (Original post by LauraMayden1)
    This. I totally agree, apart from maybe the last sentence. I think when they said no inhibitions they meant not feeling guilty or ashamed of doing sexual things with other people as long as it doesn't inconvenience or harm other people. Raping people and Masturbating in public definitely does not come under that. OP makes it out as if it's 'bad' to not be so sexually 'liberated' and to want a monogamous relationship. As I've answered before, I am a number 1 but only with my partner, and that doesn't mean I'm any less 'adventurous' so to speak.
    So you're not monogamous then if you're screwing other people.
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    Don't fit into any of those, I wouldn't have sex with someone I'm not in a relationship with but I have no problem with others doing so and wouldn't judge them. Defiantly not vanilla either.


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    These options are so stereotypical and backward - what, if you're into kink you must also be promiscuous and into casual sex?

    I have no guilt or hang-ups about sex and am sexually adventurous with a healthy appetite for physical intimacy - but I have absolutely no interest in casual sex and only ever want to have sex within a monogamous relationship. The fact that I don't want to screw any randomer doesn't mean I'm not sexually liberated.
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    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    So you're not monogamous then if you're screwing other people.
    Huh? What do you mean? I never said I was screwing people around. I've never had sex with anyone other than my partner.
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    My bad I thought you said you were since that's what number 1 implies, soz.
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    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    My bad I thought you said you were since that's what number 1 implies, soz.
    Haha, It's alright. I said I was practically number 1 but only with my partner, hence no casual sex.
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    (Original post by abc101)
    These options are so stereotypical and backward - what, if you're into kink you must also be promiscuous and into casual sex?

    I have no guilt or hang-ups about sex and am sexually adventurous with a healthy appetite for physical intimacy - but I have absolutely no interest in casual sex and only ever want to have sex within a monogamous relationship. The fact that I don't want to screw any randomer doesn't mean I'm not sexually liberated.
    A lot of sex in monogamous relationships gets dull and routine. There are only so many ways you can **** one person before it becomes a bit repetitive. That's why casual sex with different people is more exciting.
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    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    A lot of sex in monogamous relationships gets dull and routine. There are only so many ways you can **** one person before it becomes a bit repetitive. That's why casual sex with different people is more exciting.
    I could not possibly disagree with you more, and I think yours is a very immature and inexperienced opinion. If you find sex with your partner dull and boring, I think it's you and your partner who aren't compatible or making any effort. Many, many people, find casual sex with numerous different people completely unsatisfying and unexciting. For many, sex has to involve an emotional connection otherwise it's just mashing your genitals together, big whoop. If you're into more kinky pastimes, casual sex pretty much knocks that on the head because some randomer isn't going to offer you the level of understanding and trust that you need to be able to fully engage in and enjoy the more adventurous stuff. I'd be willing to bet most casual sex is far more vanilla and boring than sex in relationships where the partners know and trust each other, have a strong degree of affection, and know what turns the other on.
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    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    you dont sound very sexually liberal to me tbh, you sound quite authoritarian and close minded, like you think everyone should have the exact same interpretation and feelings towards sex that you do and if they don't then they're wrong. Actually a lot of people don't want to have casual sex and casual sex is not fine for these people, because in order to be happy they require a deeper emotional and mental connection with someone before also being as physically connected as you can be with them. Likewise there is nothing wrong with people who like regular loving sex rather than sex based upon things you might see in hardcore porn, toys, rape fantasies etc.


    But despite this it's quite obvious that you made your caterogies 1-4 in order of what you think is the best to worst views on sex. That you try to make out like people who arent porn stars must feel guilty about sex and youre quite judgmental about how people want to connect with other people, trying to force your own casual view onto everyone. Very obvious that you're looking down on people in category 3 and also all your categories are loaded because they lump together many things which dont need to be associated with one another, such as wanting to be in a serious relationship and not wanting to experiment in the bedroom for example. So stupid loaded categories too.

    Also "no inhibitions" in category 1, that would be just going around raping everyone then.
    I agree with this so much. OP seems very closed-minded, inexperienced in relationships and sex, and somewhat lads mag-ish "either you shag everyone and do S&M and ur well cool or you only sleep with one person and just do it in missionary with the lights off and ur well boring".
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    (Original post by abc101)
    I could not possibly disagree with you more, and I think yours is a very immature and inexperienced opinion. If you find sex with your partner dull and boring, I think it's you and your partner who aren't compatible or making any effort. Many, many people, find casual sex with numerous different people completely unsatisfying and unexciting. For many, sex has to involve an emotional connection otherwise it's just mashing your genitals together, big whoop. If you're into more kinky pastimes, casual sex pretty much knocks that on the head because some randomer isn't going to offer you the level of understanding and trust that you need to be able to fully engage in and enjoy the more adventurous stuff. I'd be willing to bet most casual sex is far more vanilla and boring than sex in relationships where the partners know and trust each other, have a strong degree of affection, and know what turns the other on.
    Sorry but casual sex can be really hot and kinky. You seem to think all casual sex is just a 'quick fumble', but that's not true. At the end of the day, if you want your sexual needs to be fulfilled you need to communicate your sexual needs to your partner, and that can be done with casual sex too if you are a good communicator.

    Relationships and sex are not a one size fits all. Some people prefer to have sex in the context of a monogamous relationship, others prefer to sleep with several or many different people and not be monogamous. Don't think that one context is necessarily better than another, it just comes down to personal preference.

    Also, some people feel less inhibited to try really kinky things with a total stranger.

    (Original post by abc101)
    I agree with this so much. OP seems very closed-minded, inexperienced in relationships and sex, and somewhat lads mag-ish "either you shag everyone and do S&M and ur well cool or you only sleep with one person and just do it in missionary with the lights off and ur well boring".
    Sorry but you don't know me, so don't make these judgements about me.
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    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    Sorry but casual sex can be really hot and kinky. You seem to think all casual sex is just a 'quick fumble', but that's note true. At the end of the day, if you want your sexual needs to be fulfilled you need to communicate your sexual needs to your partner, and that can be done with casual sex too if you are a good communicator.

    Relationships and sex are not a one size fits all. Some people prefer to have sex in the context of a monogamous relationships, other prefer to sleep with several or many different people and not be monogamous. Don't think that one context is necessarily better than another, it just comes down to personal preference.

    Also, some people feel less inhibited to try really kinky things with a total stranger.



    Sorry but you don't know me, so don't make these judgements about me.
    I'm still suprised theres still people in 2015 who practice old fashioned monogamy lol, everyone I know is in open relationships or polyamorous. Who are these people still practicing monogamy in 2015? :confused:
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    what about people who are kinky but monogamous ? or people who are sexually unadventurous but in open relationships ( car keys in the fruit bowl time) ?

    the scale is attempting to turn a 2 or 3 (atleast ) dimension space into a line...
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    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    I'm still suprised theres still people in 2015 who practice old fashioned monogamy lol, everyone I know is in open relationships or polyamorous. Who are these people still practicing monogamy in 2015? :confused:
    I have no idea why people still practice monogamy. Largely I think it's just down to people being socially conditioned to believe that a relationship must be monogamous other it's not a real relationship, which is bull**** of course. Human beings definitely aren't monogamous at the core, so trying to be monogamous is like fighting our own natural instincts. Monogamy doesn't work. I wrote a good post on here recently about why monogamy fails and the advantages of non-monogamy/open relationships.
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    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    When I say 'sexually liberated', I mean how much you enjoy sex and how free you are to enjoy sex without any guilt, shame or hang-ups about it. Some people have religious brainwashing that makes them feel ashamed or inhibited about having plenty of sex, whereas other people are free and have no guilt or shame attached to sex whatsoever; they just enjoy it.

    So which of these categories would you fall into:

    1) You have absolutely no guilt, shame or inhibitions about sex whatsoever. You think casual sex is fine, as long as all partners are legal and consenting. You believe sex is a natural, normal human need and is there to be enjoyed without guilt or hang ups. You are sexually adventurous and open minded, and have no problem experimenting with different things in the bedroom.

    2) You aren't against casual sex, but you're not 100% guilt or shame free when it comes to sex. You mostly enjoy sex, but experience slight hang ups about it here and there. You might try new things in the bedroom if you are talked into it, but you are not totally sexually free.

    3) You are against casual sex. You will only have sex if you're in a serious monogamous relationship or married. You prefer bland, vanilla sex and don't like to experiment and try new things sexually.

    4) You have extreme guilt or shame associated with sex, you get embarrassed about sex and try to hide or suppress your sexuality.

    For me, I'm definitely in category 1. I have no negative emotions in regards to sex at all. It's a normal and natural thing to be enjoyed with whoever you like.
    Bit patronising to those in long term committed relationships who want to try new things...and who says having 'vanilla sex' isn't being sexually liberated.
    Sexual liberation is about taking ownership of your own body and making your own sexual choices whether you have no sex at all or wild crazy sex with 100 people a week.
    Can't believe I have to explain this to you...
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    I'd say 2, only because past experiences have made me change my views; used to think you had to be in a relationship for it to feel right, but its feels fine when you're not, as long as you can accept the arrangement
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    (Original post by zippyRN)
    or people who are sexually unadventurous but in open relationships ?
    Why would you have an open relationship if you're weren't sexually adventurous? The whole point of open relationships is to keep them non-monogamous so you can sleep with other people if you want to.
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    Somewhere between 1 and 2 - no guilt or shame, it's all natural, yadda yadda, but I do have the occasional hang-up now and then.
 
 
 
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