Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

How sexually liberated are you? Which of these categories do you fall into? Watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    This is the article I wrote a while ago
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...105&highlight=
    I asked about proof that monogamy is unnatural. The only way you mention it in that post is that it that it is your belief. If I were to just accept everyones beliefs as facts I'd have to assume we are currently ruled over by giant lizards.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    When I say 'sexually liberated', I mean how much you enjoy sex and how free you are to enjoy sex without any guilt, shame or hang-ups about it. Some people have religious brainwashing that makes them feel ashamed or inhibited about having plenty of sex, whereas other people are free and have no guilt or shame attached to sex whatsoever; they just enjoy it.

    So which of these categories would you fall into:

    1) You have absolutely no guilt, shame or inhibitions about sex whatsoever. You think casual sex is fine, as long as all partners are legal and consenting. You believe sex is a natural, normal human need and is there to be enjoyed without guilt or hang ups. You are sexually adventurous and open minded, and have no problem experimenting with different things in the bedroom.

    2) You aren't against casual sex, but you're not 100% guilt or shame free when it comes to sex. You mostly enjoy sex, but experience slight hang ups about it here and there. You might try new things in the bedroom if you are talked into it, but you are not totally sexually free.

    3) You are against casual sex. You will only have sex if you're in a serious monogamous relationship or married. You prefer bland, vanilla sex and don't like to experiment and try new things sexually.

    4) You have extreme guilt or shame associated with sex, you get embarrassed about sex and try to hide or suppress your sexuality.

    For me, I'm definitely in category 1. I have no negative emotions in regards to sex at all. It's a normal and natural thing to be enjoyed with whoever you like.


    Posted from TSR Mobile

    This is massively oversimplified, biased and judgemental...An individual could for instance quite happily be in a monogamous relationship and be highly sexually adventurous within that relationship - equally they may find 'vanilla sex' far more satisfying than 'experimenting' for different reasons.

    I feel like you're trying to 'reverse-slut shame'; that might be a harsh judgement but i'm not really seeing what you're trying to achieve with this?
    My point is that I feel you're suggesting that there is a scale with promiscuity/polygamy being the most positive and enlightened position and monogamy being restricted/dull/negative - basically I respect your right to have your own views but I disagree, profoundly, with the judgemental connotations.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Search Dan Savage and type monogamy on youtube he explains why human beings are not monogamous, I would link it but i'm on the xbox 1 and don't know how.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dheorl)
    I asked about proof that monogamy is unnatural. The only way you mention it in that post is that it that it is your belief. If I were to just accept everyones beliefs as facts I'd have to assume we are currently ruled over by giant lizards.
    Another good article is I read was 'Women struggle with monogamy more than men'. It states that women get bored with monogamy faster than men, and that women are turned by the fantasy of having sex with strangers:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor..._than_men.html

    And this one 'Why humans aren't designed for monogamy', which explains why women actually cheat more than men:

    http://www.yourtango.com/experts/tif...-too-are-human
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dheorl)
    I asked about proof that monogamy is unnatural. The only way you mention it in that post is that it that it is your belief. If I were to just accept everyones beliefs as facts I'd have to assume we are currently ruled over by giant lizards.
    My post was meant for you, search Dan Savage and type monogamy on youtube he explains why humans are not naturally monogamous.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    #2

    Although in terms of some of the descriptions being open or against casual sex has nothing to do with how adventurous or experienced somebody is.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    Another good article is I read was 'Women struggle with monogamy more than men'. It states that women get bored with monogamy faster than men, and that women are turned by the fantasy of having sex with strangers:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor..._than_men.html
    Great article, I fully agree. Women used to be monogamous not because they wanted to be, but because of social constraint and pressure from their peers to seek monogamy and commitment. Now that women are free to choose their own lifestyles we now understand what women really want, and that's multiple boyfriends and sex partners. It's only a minority of men that are trying to hold onto monogamy and trying to control women from their natural desires.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    1, but I wouldn't have a ONS because I'd worry about feeling deflated and depressed afterwards.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BeDirectWomen)
    Another good article is I read was 'Women struggle with monogamy more than men'. It states that women get bored with monogamy faster than men, and that women are turned by the fantasy of having sex with strangers:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor..._than_men.html

    And this one 'Why humans aren't designed for monogamy', which explains why women actually cheat more than men:

    http://www.yourtango.com/experts/tif...-too-are-human
    The first link cites articles with very small sample sizes and no definitive conclusions, and definitely none that support your hypothesis, the second doesn't mention anything about women cheating more than men and still doesn't come up with a reasonable argument as to why monogamy isn't natural.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    Great article, I fully agree. Women used to be monogamous not because they wanted to be, but because of social constraint and pressure from their peers to seek monogamy and commitment. Now that women are free to choose their own lifestyles we now understand what women really want, and that's multiple boyfriends and sex partners. It's only a minority of men that are trying to hold onto monogamy and trying to control women from their natural desires.
    I'd genuinely like to spend a day in your social circle. It would be fascinating. I've known at most a handful of people like you describe. I'm willing to believe that you know people like this, but I really don't know why, just because you're limited experience doesn't agree with it, you're so shut off to the idea that there are still huge numbers of people out there for whom monogamy is the natural course of action for them.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    My post was meant for you, search Dan Savage and type monogamy on youtube he explains why humans are not naturally monogamous.
    To late at night for youtube videos now, I'll have a watch in the morning.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dheorl)
    I'd genuinely like to spend a day in your social circle. It would be fascinating. I've known at most a handful of people like you describe. I'm willing to believe that you know people like this, but I really don't know why, just because you're limited experience doesn't agree with it, you're so shut off to the idea that there are still huge numbers of people out there for whom monogamy is the natural course of action for them.
    Notice how no woman in here has backed you up? Also did you read the articles BeDirectWomen posted? No woman wants monogamy, every woman now wants an open relationship. As the article said this isn't the victorian era. Theres also an article on there that says the vast majority of women no longer want kids as kids are a burden to women and keep them shackled in monogamy which isn't a womans natural state. We are heading into an era of open relationships and polyamory, and it's women who are leading the charge.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    Notice how no woman in here has backed you up? Also did you read the articles BeDirectWomen posted? No woman wants monogamy, every woman now wants an open relationship. As the article said this isn't the victorian era. Theres also an article on there that says the vast majority of women no longer want kids as kids are a burden to women and keep them shackled in monogamy which isn't a womans natural state. We are heading into an era of open relationships and polyamory, and it's women who are leading the charge.
    Complete and utter bull - of all the women that I know maybe one is as you describe, and plenty of them want children.
    There is infinitely more to a meaningful relationship than sex, that is equally true for men and women.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'd love to be liberal about sex, blowjobs, handjobs etc. But as I've not experienced any of the above, I'd be misleading you.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josh93)
    Complete and utter bull - of all the women that I know maybe one is as you describe, and plenty of them want children.
    There is infinitely more to a meaningful relationship than sex, that is equally true for men and women.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    No woman in here will agree with you, modern day women no longer want love, commitment or children that's a fact. The modern woman needs multiple sex partners and boyfriends, it's time some men got on board witht his and accepted women for what they are.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    No woman in here will agree with you, modern day women no longer want love, commitment or children that's a fact. The modern woman needs multiple sex partners and boyfriends, it's time some men got on board witht his and accepted women for what they are.
    If everyone was like you humanity really wouldn't have a hope would it? If that's the way you feel that's fine, but you really need to at least accept the evidence of many people describing their own social groups. Trust me, if you at all decent in bed the "modern women" whatever the **** that is, doesn't need multiple partners.

    Out of curiosity is this "modern woman" the same person as this "real woman" I keep on hearing all about? You know, the one who can't be naturally skinny and all that.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    Notice how no woman in here has backed you up? Also did you read the articles BeDirectWomen posted? No woman wants monogamy, every woman now wants an open relationship. As the article said this isn't the victorian era. Theres also an article on there that says the vast majority of women no longer want kids as kids are a burden to women and keep them shackled in monogamy which isn't a womans natural state. We are heading into an era of open relationships and polyamory, and it's women who are leading the charge.
    Has any women here actually backed you up? I haven't noticed them doing so.

    I did read the articles. You can read my response to him on them. Fancy linking this article saying the majority of women no longer want kids? Out of the women I know well enough to know this sort of thing there's maybe 2 that definitely don't want kids. Also, please link some actual proof that monogamy is any less natural than polygamy, something that isn't just some random person voicing their opinions.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    No woman in here will agree with you, modern day women no longer want love, commitment or children that's a fact. The modern woman needs multiple sex partners and boyfriends, it's time some men got on board witht his and accepted women for what they are.
    Right - firstly I doubt that's true and secondly, TSR is about a million miles away from being representative of anything; if I believed half the views expressed on here to be 'the norm' then I would probably be in the que volunteering for the first one way ticket to Mars...

    I refer you to my previous post - complete bull. Also, let's be clear, polyagmy is not the 'natural state' for humans (male or female) if it was then we would not have evolved the capacity for love or sexual jealousy; polygamy is only advantageous when you don't need your partner to stick around and help raise the kids.

    Feel free to do your own thing but I don't think that either men or women need you to speak for them - or define 'what they are'...

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BobTheSinger)
    Search Dan Savage and type monogamy on youtube he explains why human beings are not monogamous, I would link it but i'm on the xbox 1 and don't know how.
    I watched one of his videos. The only bit he said that made sense was that just because you slip up once that doesn't mean you can't go back to being in a monogamous relationship.

    All the stuff he said about men historically having accepted and open affairs is *******s, not because it didn't happen but because the reason guys were married in the first place was completely different to what it is today. As he himself said, marriage back then was a property transaction, of course is wasn't going to work out as a monogamous commitment. Today though when people are free to marry for love I see no reason why that shouldn't happen.

    Also I disagree with what he says about retaining desires. I genuinely don't want to sleep with other people when I'm in a monogamous relationship. If some people do that's fine, but it's just not for me. That's not a construction of society or any *******s like that, it's just how I am and how many other people I know are as well.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    The categories are ****; why on earth would someone only willing to have monogamous sex automatically also only be into 'bland, vanilla sex' and be unwilling to experiment? Likewise, why does someone who is happier with casual sex automatically have to be into more experimentation and kinks?

    Pile of tripe, OP, poor quality thread. The phrasing of the options also seems to not so subtly hint at your own personal views of sex and morality.
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply
Updated: February 13, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE Results Day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.