basically I was passionate about the subject
you will be learning to make films they said , that sounded like fun , I like films ,directing would be nice
but my course is completely runining films for me I cant watch a film without thinking of all the stuff they tell us at uni (which isnt much , how is it framed ,is there enough headspace , how they must have lit that scene), but its not thinking of that stuff thats the problem its thinking of how miserable i was in the lessons while learning about that stuff , movies just remind me of being in class ,thats the problem every film feels like a lecture
Im miserable in the practical lessons and the majority of what i do is essays , which feel so irrelvent. I feel like I want to leave uni but then would I do? there is a part of me that still kind of wants to do film that hasnt been sucked out by my couse ,but if im miserable on a mock film set in class , would i be in the real world or is that beucase they have me holding the boom mike on a film idea that i hate all day?
I dont know anymore . But I think what I really want to do is just be an actress ,iIcant really leave my course though beucase I need my student loan to be able to live in london regardless of what work i would be doing in film its all london based!
im not going to drop out but i hate it here with a passion ,im so confused does anyone else feel like this?