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    (Original post by fire_and_ice)
    That's exactly where the problem lies, I don't exactly know what I want. I wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember until I considered maths and philosophy. Don't know now.

    What was your dream?
    Starting my own business (self made man).
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    (Original post by fire_and_ice)
    That's exactly where the problem lies, I don't exactly know what I want. I wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember until I considered maths and philosophy. Don't know now.

    What was your dream?

    OMG philosophy is the thaaaannnggg! it so interesting, I cant even begin to describe how much I enjoy philosophy and ethics but too bad my parents don't approve.
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    GCSE, I had an exam today, I told my mum that I don't think I did as well as I could of and I swear she nearly had a heart attack. These parents are obsessed with our education and career.
    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    hahahaha sooooo true :rofl:
    Right since childhood I am seeing, be it any religious function, marriage function or any occasional, kitty party, or ladies sitting outside temples, all they talk is useless and nonsense stuff. They talk about whose daughter run away with whom and how someone daughter-in-law is good at cooking and how she treat her mother-in-law blah blah blah blah. They keep badmouthing and criticizing other's daughters or daughter-in-laws or other people. If by chance they see any girl and boy simply talking they assume that something affair going on between them and exaggerate and tell others by adding spice to the original matter.

    They gossip, badmouth, make up things and tell lies to others, exaggerate things to others. And one thing I noticed that they have nothing good to talk about anyone, even if they talk good then that too with negative intention to make others hear and feel jealous. Why in the south Asian community only such ladies are found in large numbers and they do like this. The reason in the south Asian community people are scared to take any decisions like love marriage, dating, inter-caste marriage is because of this useless ladies, because they are scared that what this idiotic ladies will talk about them.

    This is all happening because of TV serials in the south Asian community and Having AIM LESS LIFE.If you see any serial on any channel (except comedy serial) you will come to know about this.These "aunties " watching tv all the day, and the impact of serial enter in their day to day life automatically.They don't have life beyond TV.
    In fact they are able to do some social work for the people who need, not finance but education, teachings,guiding others in good way/path.But they don't.

    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    GCSE, I had an exam today, I told my mum that I don't think I did as well as I could of and I swear she nearly had a heart attack. These parents are obsessed with our education and career.
    The same thing happen to my little brother :lol::lol::lol: Today he came back from school and told the same thing to my mom (except that he is doing his A levels) , my mom went berserk on him lol.
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    (Original post by Kavinan)
    Right since childhood I am seeing, be it any religious function, marriage function or any occasional, kitty party, or ladies sitting outside temples, all they talk is useless and nonsense stuff. They talk about whose daughter run away with whom and how someone daughter-in-law is good at cooking and how she treat her mother-in-law blah blah blah blah. They keep badmouthing and criticizing other's daughters or daughter-in-laws or other people. If by chance they see any girl and boy simply talking they assume that something affair going on between them and exaggerate and tell others by adding spice to the original matter.

    They gossip, badmouth, make up things and tell lies to others, exaggerate things to others. And one thing I noticed that they have nothing good to talk about anyone, even if they talk good then that too with negative intention to make others hear and feel jealous. Why in the south Asian community only such ladies are found in large numbers and they do like this. The reason in the south Asian community people are scared to take any decisions like love marriage, dating, inter-caste marriage is because of this useless ladies, because they are scared that what this idiotic ladies will talk about them.

    This is all happening because of TV serials in the south Asian community and Having AIM LESS LIFE.If you see any serial on any channel (except comedy serial) you will come to know about this.These "aunties " watching tv all the day, and the impact of serial enter in their day to day life automatically.They don't have life beyond TV.
    In fact they are able to do some social work for the people who need, not finance but education, teachings,guiding others in good way/path.But they don't.



    The same thing happen to my little brother :lol::lol::lol: Today he came back from school and told the same thing to my mom (except that he is doing his A levels) , my mom went berserk on him lol.
    lol being in an Indian family is like starring in your own Bollywood movie. the thing I hate is the whole boy girl thing, I've noticed im actually scared to be seen walking around with a boy just in case someone happened to see even if there's nothing going on between me and the boy. My parents are such hypocrites because both of them had male and female friends when they were growing up and the funny thing is they're still in contact with them too! so why not me? also they don't care about my brother mixing with the female population but if it was me then naaaahhhh on my dads side of the family there's been so many love marriages but all of them were somehow so dramatic and they had to go through a lot but at least they're accepted. I think its worse back home tbh

    loool every parent must have gone through this today haha oooh A levels though, what did he take?
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    lol being in an Indian family is like starring in your own Bollywood movie. the thing I hate is the whole boy girl thing, I've noticed im actually scared to be seen walking around with a boy just in case someone happened to see even if there's nothing going on between me and the boy. My parents are such hypocrites because both of them had male and female friends when they were growing up and the funny thing is they're still in contact with them too! so why not me? also they don't care about my brother mixing with the female population but if it was me then naaaahhhh on my dads side of the family there's been so many love marriages but all of them were somehow so dramatic and they had to go through a lot but at least they're accepted. I think its worse back home tbh

    loool every parent must have gone through this today haha oooh A levels though, what did he take?
    Thanks to the society and especially NSA (Neighbourhood spy aunties) details of our every activity are transmitted across the neighbourhood :mad:. Even I am a guy , but I'm scared of being seen with girls not because of my parents( because my parents know me well ), but because of people making false gossip wish can ruin my family reputation. About love marriage my parents said it's fine but no pre marital sex , but almost everyone except my brother got an arranged marriage , because almost all Tamils in the west are non virgins which is not compatible with our lifestyle. As for your parents not allowing you to see boys , trust me they are doing this because many South Asian girls in the UK , fall in love with boys and get used for sex, than the guy dump the girl and the girl reputation is lost (sometime the guy video tape them and black mail them for sex) then publish it on The net if they don't corporate .After that no South Asian male marry them which bring disgrace to the family. In my family no one was allowed to interact with the opposite sex unsupervised .

    BTW: My bro is doing Maths and triple science A levels .
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    Dat paycheck :cool:
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    (Original post by Kavinan)
    Thanks to the society and especially NSA (Neighbourhood spy aunties) details of our every activity are transmitted across the neighbourhood :mad:. Even I am a guy , but I'm scared of being seen with girls not because of my parents( because my parents know me well ), but because of people making false gossip wish can ruin my family reputation. About love marriage my parents said it's fine but no pre marital sex , but almost everyone except my brother got an arranged marriage , because almost all Tamils in the west are non virgins which is not compatible with our lifestyle. As for your parents not allowing you to see boys , trust me they are doing this because many South Asian girls in the UK , fall in love with boys and get used for sex, than the guy dump the girl and the girl reputation is lost (sometime the guy video tape them and black mail them for sex) then publish it on The net if they don't corporate .After that no South Asian male marry them which bring disgrace to the family. In my family no one was allowed to interact with the opposite sex unsupervised .

    BTW: My bro is doing Maths and triple science A levels .
    haha NSA :lol: I mean I still interact with guys but I make sure I tell my parents because its better they hear it from me rather than someone else, omg something like this is all it takes to tarnish your family name (in the world of an Asian). My parents said no bfs till im 18 probably because they know that I wont have time for one because I'll be studying haha so sneaky lol well I think it depends because my family is quite strict upon issues like this so I wouldn't want to have pre marital sex, lol ive heard about those but I don't know anyone who's actually done it. my family isn't that strict, we're not segregated from the opposite sex .

    wow triple science and maths, it must be hard
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    A lot of it is "muh prestige"; or, in other words, they want to be respected for their "Godly" intellect. Otherwise, they either have a genuine interest in those fields or they've been pressured into doing it by their parents.
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    haha NSA :lol: I mean I still interact with guys but I make sure I tell my parents because its better they hear it from me rather than someone else, omg something like this is all it takes to tarnish your family name (in the world of an Asian). My parents said no bfs till im 18 probably because they know that I wont have time for one because I'll be studying haha so sneaky lol well I think it depends because my family is quite strict upon issues like this so I wouldn't want to have pre marital sex, lol ive heard about those but I don't know anyone who's actually done it. my family isn't that strict, we're not segregated from the opposite sex .

    wow triple science and maths, it must be hard
    :eek: you too in my family it's the same no bf/gf untill you go to uni (18) . My family is also very strict but loving , I'm born in Germany , but I never kissed a girl or had any gf , I never did drugs or alcohol of my life ,my parents raised me very strictly. I am born in the west but I am very religious, I am a Hindu and I always go to the kovil to pray god. As for pre marital sex , I'm not interested because it's against Tamil culture and I prefer to keep my self pure for my future wife.

    I have never seen a marriage end in divorce where the two people were virgin before marriage.In the west the only Tamil marriages that end up in divorce are because either spouse, usually the girl, has had a sexual experience before meeting her husband. The result is divorce in less than 10 years - very painful. At all costs, maintain your purity untill married, that way your set for life. MEN- never marry a girl who isn't a virgin. A girl will always be loyal to the man who takes her virginity. Don't worry you'll have 50 years of sex to get all the experience you want. VIRGINITY = SMART+ HAPPINESS+ NO DIVORCE. All divorced couples had sex before they were married - that's a fact.

    Yes my brother said that triple science and maths are hard , but thats because he never revise all he does is playing games because he's a genius he thinks he can pass A levels , without revising lol. That's why my mum always go berserk on Him.
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    (Original post by Kavinan)
    :eek: you too in my family it's the same no bf/gf untill you go to uni (18) . My family is also very strict but loving , I'm born in Germany , but I never kissed a girl or had any gf , I never did drugs or alcohol of my life ,my parents raised me very strictly. I am born in the west but I am very religious, I am a Hindu and I always go to the kovil to pray god. As for pre marital sex , I'm not interested because it's against Tamil culture and I prefer to keep my self pure for my future wife.

    I have never seen a marriage end in divorce where the two people were virgin before marriage.In the west the only Tamil marriages that end up in divorce are because either spouse, usually the girl, has had a sexual experience before meeting her husband. The result is divorce in less than 10 years - very painful. At all costs, maintain your purity untill married, that way your set for life. MEN- never marry a girl who isn't a virgin. A girl will always be loyal to the man who takes her virginity. Don't worry you'll have 50 years of sex to get all the experience you want. VIRGINITY = SMART+ HAPPINESS+ NO DIVORCE. All divorced couples had sex before they were married - that's a fact.

    Yes my brother said that triple science and maths are hard , but thats because he never revise all he does is playing games because he's a genius he thinks he can pass A levels , without revising lol. That's why my mum always go berserk on Him.
    my family is religious too, the amount of temples and poojas my mum did for my exams lol same with my culture.

    well I must say I have seen marriages fail but I dont know if its because it was they weren't virgins but it was because they had arrange marriages and they found they weren't compatible, sadly in some cases after they had children too. lol where are you getting these figures from, do you know people personally? its not just the girl, it could be the guy too. again I don't think all divorced couples had sex before marriage lol tbh your marriage will work if everything is at a balance, maybe virginity is another affecting factor but im sure there's many other prominent factors.

    you can do day before revision for GCSEe but not for A level, I don't know what he's playing at lol what kind of business do you have?
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    my family is religious too, the amount of temples and poojas my mum did for my exams lol same with my culture.

    well I must say I have seen marriages fail but I dont know if its because it was they weren't virgins but it was because they had arrange marriages and they found they weren't compatible, sadly in some cases after they had children too. lol where are you getting these figures from, do you know people personally? its not just the girl, it could be the guy too. again I don't think all divorced couples had sex before marriage lol tbh your marriage will work if everything is at a balance, maybe virginity is another affecting factor but im sure there's many other prominent factors.

    you can do day before revision for GCSEe but not for A level, I don't know what he's playing at lol what kind of business do you have?
    Tamil youths (espicially girls) are falling into a trap of western materialistic lifestyle and values, while completely forgetting their native teachings regarding simple lives and rich thoughts?Some activities like kissing, dating, premarital sex, smoking, and drinking alcohol that white people deem completely normal are frowned upon by most Tamil even the one that are born in the west.

    There are two types of Tamils who "resort" to arranged marriage today.[/B]

    1. Those who've dated around and see arranged marriage as a fallback option (mostly Tamil girls).

    2. Those who've been following Tamil culture, which is to study and not to have any sexual contact with the opposite sex than have an arranged marriage to a decent person.

    So what happens when #1 encounters #2 in such a setup? It's not likely to work.

    Arranged marriage worked for our parents and grandparents' generation because cultural constraints kept a leash on men and especially women's freedoms. Thus, both partners entered the marriage arrangement with no relationship history, no sexual history and no previous baggage. Arranged marriage can work successfully in such a context.

    But what happens when this model is adapted today to the West, where we have carte blanche and a complete dating free-for-all? Naturally there will be asymmetry in the level of experience of both partners entering this arrangement.

    Assuming both partners are transparent and don't lie about their pasts, a virgin Tamil guy is not going to enter an arranged marriage with a Tamil woman with a sexual history. A Tamil woman with previous boyfriends won't feel any attraction to a virgin Tamil guy, and would be repulsed by his inexperience and awkwardness.

    If this union miraculously does form, naturally jealousy and insecurity issues will arise and ghosts of boyfriends/girlfriends past will come to haunt the marriage. In fact, this is a leading cause of the rising divorce rate among Tamils today. Which is why so many cultural Tamils in the west prefer to marry back in the country with a virgin , because there is no chance of divorce when two virgins get married, because they value the sanctity of marriage .

    That's what I told him

    I run several petrol station,off licenses, rent houses and run one KFC branch .
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    I have to go to work tomorrow, good night.
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    (Original post by Kavinan)
    Tamil youths (espicially girls) are falling into a trap of western materialistic lifestyle and values, while completely forgetting their native teachings regarding simple lives and rich thoughts?Some activities like kissing, dating, premarital sex, smoking, and drinking alcohol that white people deem completely normal are frowned upon by most Tamil even the one that are born in the west.

    There are two types of Tamils who "resort" to arranged marriage today.[/B]

    1. Those who've dated around and see arranged marriage as a fallback option (mostly Tamil girls).

    2. Those who've been following Tamil culture, which is to study and not to have any sexual contact with the opposite sex than have an arranged marriage to a decent person.

    So what happens when #1 encounters #2 in such a setup? It's not likely to work.

    Arranged marriage worked for our parents and grandparents' generation because cultural constraints kept a leash on men and especially women's freedoms. Thus, both partners entered the marriage arrangement with no relationship history, no sexual history and no previous baggage. Arranged marriage can work successfully in such a context.

    But what happens when this model is adapted today to the West, where we have carte blanche and a complete dating free-for-all? Naturally there will be asymmetry in the level of experience of both partners entering this arrangement.

    Assuming both partners are transparent and don't lie about their pasts, a virgin Tamil guy is not going to enter an arranged marriage with a Tamil woman with a sexual history. A Tamil woman with previous boyfriends won't feel any attraction to a virgin Tamil guy, and would be repulsed by his inexperience and awkwardness.

    That's what I told him

    I run several petrol station,off licenses, rent houses and run one KFC branch .
    If this union miraculously does form, naturally jealousy and insecurity issues will arise and ghosts of boyfriends/girlfriends past will come to haunt the marriage. In fact, this is a leading cause of the rising divorce rate among Tamils today. Which is why so many cultural Tamils in the west prefer to marry back in the country with a virgin , because there is no chance of divorce when two virgins get married, because they value the sanctity of marriage .
    arranged marriage is a tried and tested method although I do feel marriage would be more meaningful if it happened between individuals in a loving relationship.

    sanctity of marriage just means two people come together in the presence of god therefore some denominations believe that it is impossible to get a divorce regardless of your circumstances, say even in the case of abuse. I think I would prefer a love marriage, I guess you could say it gives me some sense of security and I know that we are compatible. Also then I have no one to blame except for myself if the marriage fails. I wouldn't be so quick to come to conclusions, at the end of the day it depends on the two individuals, I know this because I know two people who have experienced similar situations as mentioned, in terms of love, the relationship of two individuals shouldn't be adversely affected because of their personal history in my opinion, if they truly love each other then it shouldn't matter. I would go for a love marriage over arranged any day.

    oh wow, so you run a franchise too? I do business btw
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    (Original post by Kavinan)
    I have to go to work tomorrow, good night.

    lol good night
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    Its because of the £££ why most people wanna go into those fields I reckon
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    arranged marriage is a tried and tested method although I do feel marriage would be more meaningful if it happened between individuals in a loving relationship.

    sanctity of marriage just means two people come together in the presence of god therefore some denominations believe that it is impossible to get a divorce regardless of your circumstances, say even in the case of abuse. I think I would prefer a love marriage, I guess you could say it gives me some sense of security and I know that we are compatible. Also then I have no one to blame except for myself if the marriage fails. I wouldn't be so quick to come to conclusions, at the end of the day it depends on the two individuals, I know this because I know two people who have experienced similar situations as mentioned, in terms of love, the relationship of two individuals shouldn't be adversely affected because of their personal history in my opinion, if they truly love each other then it shouldn't matter. I would go for a love marriage over arranged any day.

    oh wow, so you run a franchise too? I do business btw
    Hmm my views are very different from you

    Trust is the fundamental basis of a successful long term marriage. Without trust, a marriage, a relationship cannot exist for long. No long term commitment can be based on mistrust. Thus, being a virgin girl at marriage preserves the trust from the very beginning of that committed relationship. All other alternatives raises the probabilities of mistrust, separation and divorce. If you've been married before, then re-building the trust between partners before and during marriage is the challenge. That's why so many marriages end in divorce because mistrust cannot be reconciled. Many women who lost their virginity prior to marriage conceived children out of wedlock and became single moms for many years.

    In my opinion, the vast majority of white women and westernised Tamil women are not suitable for marriage (with virginity being one of the reasons), and one should thus get a bride from Sri Lanka whose form and complexion are agreeable to your fancy and then love and cherish her. THATS ALL !!!

    For many Tamil men, the ideal is a woman with the outer beauty of a Tamil woman here and the inner beauty of a Tamil woman back home. Any woman can go from a 6 to an 10 with a proper understanding of style and presentation. While outer beauty is easy to fix, inner beauty is much harder to change.

    Lets compare them virgin and non virgin to cars a I would only marry a virgin girl because they are like a brand new sports car with no mileage on them and that non virgin women are like used cars with 100k on the odometer etc. A beautiful and highly educated Tamil girl without virginity is not worth in the eyes of many Tamil men. We don't care how educated she is ..

    Tamil guys – even educated guys who grew up in UK – are very judgmental about a girl’s past. Even today, Tamil men have different standards for whom they’ll casually date and whom they’ll marry. And a Tamil girl who has had several boyfriends or sexual partners will not be viewed as marriage material. Tamil men won’t settle for what they perceive as “used goods” with baggage from past relationships. While this double standard may seem unfair to the ladies, it is still the reality in our community.

    I am a virgin Tamil guy and so I want a virgin girl. My future wife will face torture from me if she had sex before and lie to me before marriage. Non-virgin girls should never play with the feelings of virgin boys and they should always tell their life partners about their virginity before marriage.Today there are many murders and crimes because of cheating in marriages. You guys must be aware of that. When a husband/wife finds out about the extra marital affairs then he/she kills his/her life partner along with the other person involved. Such crimes were not present in those days when men and women were virgin before marriage. But since both men and women are losing their morals and virginity the crimes and murders are increasing...

    There are many men and women,who,under the garb of so called "modernity" marry a person even after knowing his past affairs.they feel that past is past and marriage is like some button,which,once pressed will make that partner totally faithful to his spouse.but this is not so.

    Many times,even after marriage,the partner keeps in touch with her/his old boy friend or girl friend,and then the person who married him/her regrets why he married this person who had such a past.

    Then follows suspicions,anger,jealousy,quarre ls and so many complications b/w the spousesso its much better to marry a simple,gud charactered and faithful person

    Western Tamil girl logic:Girls fall for Mr wrong for various reasons and get B A N G E D. Whereas Mr Right focus on their career and life not getting diverted. Later when girls think about future settlement then they look for Mr Right and now they are worried about the lost virginity and its acceptance ???

    Faith cannot be done on a partner who has promiscuous past and neither i can create any emotion for her.

    Will you Mary a guy who has AIDS, just to get marital status and survive in the society ?

    Their new meaning of love is s*x.

    Living with a non-virgin is like silently killing myself, my emotional health will suffer a lot. So i will prefer to stay "HAPPY" virgin than to ""SUFFER" my whole life with a non-virgin.I an't live with a non-virgin girl... i will prefer to die happy virgin than to marry a loose character girl.

    And if i need physical satisfaction, I can pay for s*x with pros without any commitment....so why marry a non-virgin because there is not much difference between a pros & non-virgin girl.

    If i didn't found hymen and she did not bleed, she will be out of my house & life on the wedding day itself.
    An unchaste or characterless girl will not stay even a single day in my house. Tamil culture has taught us that celibacy until marriage is the best.

    A virgin girl is clean of disease, and she's always going to remember her first as her first. They make the best marriage material .Sex will be within our marriage, and we'd have a lifetime of exploration with each other. I personally feel that Tamil men love women more when they have saved themselves for their husband and vice versa. I think it is.men feel more respect for and have sincere tenderness toward a virgin guess it has something to do with the pure innocents that men see when we look at a virgin. Virgins on both sides is best

    As for non virgin Tamil females, They're damaged goods, Why should a Tamil man marry a girl who has had multiple penis's inserted into her mouth, vagina and anus. Every Tamil man deserves a virgin. Non virgins are infested with every sort of sexually transmitted diseases and they are not marriage material ,yet we all must be nice to them but we will never consider marrying them.

    A girl who has loosed her virginity before marriage, then it simply means she has no or little value for marriage.

    What family a unchaste girl provide, will i be able to tell my child that your mother has slept with X and Y and Z.

    She may indulge in adultery too after marriage, so i think she is not my marriage material.

    Unchaste girls are for community.

    Virgins are for husbands.

    The marriage certainly brings a man and a woman together, they know each other carnally (s*xually),the love between them deepens, arrival of children further strengthens strong emotional bonds between them and the whole family. But what is more, much more, and not usually spoken about is the fact that there is much deeper joy, bliss, contentment, peace, confidence that make human life really full of happiness. Virginity may well be lost before the marriage in many cases, yet the man and the woman can come together emotionally and then enter into marriage bond. In the earlier times of greater social purity and in absence of rampant promiscuity today, virgins (boys and girls) may certainly be rare finds, but that does not at all cancel out the possibility of good, happy and blissful married life. As for s*xual pleasure, it happens in one`s brain/mind and it is not at all physical. It is the best when it is in the mind. When one is aware of its physicality, the joy is already reduced. When this process begins and grows, perversions can come in. What we see today is that perversion in our young boys and girls. The promiscuity enables frequent change of partners which leads to reducing the s*x to purely physical. It is impossible to convince the youth today but it is still the truth that we need to go back to our social behaviour a hundred or at least 70 years ago, for a fuller life, bliss. The alternative is pure chaos and a jungle, animal culture. If she losed her virginity and ditched by her bf, so she thinks s*x is love, then the product is below standard and i will not buy it.
    She could also have been fallen in love without s*x, but this is not the case, she feeed extreme urge physically and shared her bed with her bf. I don't respect such a girl who can't control her urge and can share her bed with anyone just to satisfy her physical need." In my whole family everyone except my brothers got an arranged marriage, no one is divorced or unhappy. I think that arranged marriage are great not to be confused with forced marriage .
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    People who can't do maths and want a low-mid paying job do medicine.

    That's a lot of people.
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    Wait... people want to do dentistry?

    #MedicvsDentistBanter
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    (Original post by chocolatesauce)
    maybe but all this competition is jussssttt too much
    Are you scared of a bit of competition?
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    (Original post by ForgetMe)
    Are you scared of a bit of competition?
    im not telling you but maybe
 
 
 
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