Hi all, I'm new here and I think it would be healthy getting a new view on things and also I think i have exhausted my friends from talking about this topic all the time. I excuse myself for the lengthy post also.
So to begin with I have been friends with this guy for about 2 years, we met in work and when he left for America for 4 months we kept in touch via letters. I also moved to London for university and we always kept in touch (spoke to one another practically everyday) and met up with one another when i returned home for holidays. During christmas 2014 on a night out we ended up kissing numerous times, however nothing was said and we just acted normally. The following months when i returned back to London the contact got more intense and he would say things like 'i would take you with me to America', 'i would never hurt you'.
He was coming to visit me in London in march and one conversation when talking about my work uniform he asked 'is it sexy?' and 'i bet you look stunning always'. March came and he stayed for 4 days. On one of the nights out and i admit drunkenly, I asked him about the kiss and he replied that he liked me and we have always had this connection even when we were with other partners. We proceeded to kiss and one thing led to another and this happened 3 times over the time he stayed. I admit I do have feelings for him and I realised this during his stay.
However, after his stay he has been really distant. I have tried to contact him numerous times in which he usually replies however cuts me off after one or two messages. i have called him explaining how i feel and i have told him i value our friendship more than anything else and would like it just to be how it was. He agreed with this, however still didn't bother and acted distant.
I have been really hurt as well, as i have been really poorly which resulted in me having to have an emergency operation. He knew about this. However, it was me who had to contact him asking if he was okay, as i felt if i didn't there would be no communication and this seems to be how the story has been- me communicating in the fear it wouldn't happen otherwise.
After the operation, I stayed at home (where we are both from) and asked to meet up numerous times, however it never happened. I know this is silly but he posted a picture on social media of a girl saying how she was his favourite and how he's going to miss her before he goes away again, which sparked jealousy as he didn't even bother to see me, even after I've been ill.
I'm just hurt by it all, especially when he was the one who admitted 'he liked me'. He never used to be like this, he would do anything for me usually, so I don't know if he's been completely put off after what happened during his visit. I just miss my friend and i feel like the friendship has been ruined now. Sorry for the lengthy post.
My question is do i leave the friendship or try and make it work?
What are the downsides?