So basically it was my birthday yesterday and my dad forgot. When my Mum was speaking to him today, she asked him it there was anything he'd forgotten and at first he still didn't remember. After he did remember he asked me how it was and said he'd got me a present but he didn't actually apologise. The thing is I wasn't angry or annoyed about the situation and that is what has annoyed me, because I've gotten used to this kind of thing and kind of expect it.
It's really made me think about my relationship with him. My mum and dad have been divorced since I was young and me and my brother didn't see him that often, but when we did we went reluctantly due to issues with arguments whilst we were there, and often cried on the phone whilst speaking to him. He'd turn up hours late for when he was supposed to pick us up and I feel like most of the time we were there we were ignored because he seem to put our step mum first and work.When we were there he'd stay in bed until like 2pm probably due to drinking so much the night before. On christmases and holidays there's often been crying and arguments and upset. Our contact with him became less regular and social services got involved for a brief amount o time because of how upset we got with him.
Fast forward and we still don't see him much. I feel like we've never really had a proper relationship together and it's been making me feel really sad lately. I love him and when I do see him now it's quite nice but it's like even though all of that's in the past now, I can't let go of how I felt as a kid and I still don't feel like we have a good enough bond. I'd never feel like I could speak to him about any issues I had for example. I still don't feel like he takes much interest in our lives, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know what uni I'm going to or what course I'm doing.
When he went on holiday with my brother a few months ago he apparently said when he was drunk that he regrets not spending time with us and that he's made mistakes in his life. He said to our dad that we can spend more time together now but I still don't feel like we'll ever have that father-daughter relationship that you should have. And I also feel like there's this bitter side to me in regards to men in general. Like my mum's current boyfriend is nice but I come out with this snide remarks sometimes and she doesn't think I like him, when I don't have a problem with him specifically but i don't know if on some level I feel resentment towards him and her other boyfriends before for no reason.
I'm not even sure what advice I'm wanting but I guess it's just how to get over the bitterness and how I can have a better relationship with my dad as well as not feel resentment towards other men.
Turn on thread page Beta
My dad forgot my birthday and didn't apologise watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-05-2015 19:03
- 12-05-2015 19:22
- 12-05-2015 19:25
haha count your blessings hun. I haven't seen my dad in 4 years, haven't spoken to him in 3. He hasn't said happy birthday in 3 years. Am I bothered? Nope.
- 12-05-2015 19:30
One of my friends is undergoing through the same thing so you are definitely not alone.
Its as if her dad has better things to be doing than spending time with his daughter and even cater for her whilst her mum is struggling with work and bills etc(her mum and dad split up too)
You should have a serious chat with your dad(face to face) and actually tell him how you feel. Although him and your mum broke up, you are still part of his life and he must truly deep down love you.
I hope things work out for you.