Genital Herpes Help Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Hello,
Thank you for looking at this post, but really need some help!!

I had unprotected sex with someone other than my partner 1 1/2 years ago, and ever since I have thought I had genital herpes for one reason or another. Itchiness etc...
I have never had any lesions or spots on my penis, and have been to see numerous doctors who have all said no to having it.
My GF, who I have been having sex ever since does not know about the encounter, and I never want her to know. We was in a bad place, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I have been guilt stricken ever since but that is my fault and I accept that.

Today, after 1 1/2 years, she has a pus filled spot on the side of her vagina. It is a single lump and is painful. She hasn't had any other symptoms, just this 1 spot.

Does anyone think this is herpes, being that we both have not had any other spots/lesions just this 1 1/2 years on..?

If not what does anyone think, thank you so much in advance !
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#2
Can anyone help me please, haven't had any replies and really need some guidance...
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#3
If anyone has any experience I would be so grateful, please reply...
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#4
Report 4 years ago
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Given that a pile of doctors have said you don't have genital herpes, what is it going to take for you to believe it?

What you do have is - as you've correctly diagnosed - a bad case of 'guilt'. At some point you will either accept that nothing bad happened as a result of the sex with someone else and get over it, or risk destroying the relationship by obsessing over it or confessing it. (She may of course not mind, but it's a risk.)

What she has sounds vastly more like an ingrowing hair or other perfectly normal (albeit annoying) skin problem and should be treated as such.
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Sinatrafan
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#5
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I agree with the person above. The first question is what will it take to reassure you that you don't have herpes? At the moment it seems that you are pretty unreassureable regardless of how many doctors confirm that you're ok. The next thing to determine is how much of what you're feeling is guilt and how much of what you're feeling is fear of being caught? If you can alleviate your fear perhaps your guilt will also improve.

It's impossible to say without seeing the lesion, but she probably has a bartholin's cyst or something to that effect so I wouldn't worry.
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Anonymous #2
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There seems to be a lot of misinformation on this thread. Not getting at anyone, this reflects the ignorance in society about this topic.

OP is not wrong in thinking he 'may' have herpes. In fact many of you reading this post happily thinking 'I don't have it!' MAY also have herpes. Why? The vast majority of people with herpes either have a couple of minor outbreaks (which are dismissed as spots/ingrown hairs) or no symptoms at all. Yes you can have NO SYMPTOMS and still be infected - and still spread the virus.

THE FACTS:
1) There are 2 types of herpes, Type 1 and Type 2
2) Type 1 is usually oral (cold sores). Type 2 is usually genital.
3) They are transmitted due to contact with the lesions/bodily fluid. (NOT shared cutlery/towels etc)
4) Condoms can lessen the chance of spreading the virus...but they are not 100% effective.
5) Due to oral sex people can spread their oral herpes (cold sores) to their partner's genitals. (or vice versa)
6) in UK 7/10 have the virus that causes cold sores. HOWEVER only 1/5 have noticeable symptoms
7) IN UK 1/10 are thought to have genital herpes. YES that seems like a lot...however most are blissfully unaware due to lack of symptoms.
8) 4/5 people get NO CLEAR SYMPTOMS when first infected. A few people get nasty flu-like symptoms and others a minor outbreak.
9) First outbreak can be YEARS after you were infected.
10) Doctor can diagnose visually (but this relies on you having an obvious OB/doc being able to recognise) or getting a swab.

I would strongly recommend your GF get a swab from the doc. There are a number of possibilities. (Maybe it is just an ingrown hair, maybe you infected her through a coldsore, maybe you do have genital herpes but doc didn't realise, maybe she was already infected from before you were together but symptoms only showed up now, maybe, maybe...). It happens so much in relationships. Most people can't ever pin down who gave what to who. I think your guilt is making you assign blame to yourself but try not to focus on that. Herpes is not necessarily proof of infidelity, so she may not know that you cheated. This is a separate issue.

And just in case anyone makes mean 'joking' comments about herpes: chicken pox, shingles and glandular fever are all versions of the herpes virus. No-one laughs about these. It just happens to also show up in embarrassing places, it's just a minor skin issue and was considered to be not worth worrying about until the drug companies realised they could make $$$ over people's shame and embarrassment.

source: www.herpes.org.uk
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Obviously HSV-1 in particular is extremely common and most people get it, often during childhood. Typically, that results in a coldsore on the mouth or nose or..

However when a bunch of doctors have looked at his genitals and gone 'there's no sign of genital herpes' it is, perhaps, possible that he doesn't have any signs of genital herpes. Plus what he's describing on her really doesn't sound like a herpes sore.
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username3883434
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#8
Report 1 year ago
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Please get a prescription for Valtrex or Acyclovir.
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Anonymous #3
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Report 1 year ago
#9
(Original post by username3883434)
Please get a prescription for Valtrex or Acyclovir.
1)This thread is 2 years old
2) OP has been told by several doctors that they don't have genital herpes
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