Having unrealistic expectations of a relationship

This is probably more of a rant than asking for advice, but here goes: as a teenager I never had what I consider to be a proper relationship. It's not that I was unattractive or lacked confidence; it just never happened. I'd been on dates, made out with guys, regrettably slept with a number of guys who weren't worth it.

I wanted more than anything to be in a relationship with somebody who would care about me and love me for the person I am, and vice-versa. I thought relationships were about somebody caring about you when nobody else would, going on long romantic walks together, cuddling and kissing for hours, etc, etc.

When I met my current boyfriend, it was like that at first. He would text me for no particular reason to say he was thinking about me, he would come to see me even when he was absolutely knackered. He always had time for me. A few weeks into our relationship, the spark just faded away. I felt I was being taken for granted. I realise this happens to all couples, but surely not in a matter of weeks?!

I gave my all to rejuvenate this relationship while it was still early. I started to think I wasn't attrractive enough so spent several hours a day and a considerate portion of my budget on improving my appearance. I tried to make each time we met special, with little surprises like sexy new lingerie.

A few months down the line, I realise I'll never be as important to him as his other friends and his ex-girlfriends-turned-best-friends. He'd much rather spend all of his holidays hanging out with them or talking to them on the phone than with me. I feel like I'm just a "friend with benefits."

I've become extremely unhappy and insecure. I'd brushed my friends aside and neglected my course so I could devote all my time to him. I've always had this naive notion of what a relationship is all about, and it's now been shattered. I've thought about dumping him, but I know I don't want to. I think I'd just rather try again and again to make it work until he dumps me for someone else.

To all the single people on TSR: don't feel bad about being alone, and don't expect a Special Someone to take away all your woes. Being in a relationship isn't always as good as it's cracked up to be

Amen to that. So many people think that being in a relationship will solve all their problems but the thing is, I think, you need to be secure and confident in yourself before you can have a successful relationship.