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Would you date an ex drug user? watch

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    I used to use a lot of drugs. Most of them hard. I now don't. I haven't experienced a lot of judgement as my past few relationships have been with people I met through work/study (substance misuse) so naturally they wouldn't question it in the way others might

    So my question is for those of you outside this type of organisation, would you ever date an ex drug user? And obviously I am not talking about smoking a bit of weed on occasion. I'm talking about someone for whom taking drugs was once problematic, or they were physically/mentally dependent.
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    As someone who has never taken anything stronger than weed (and even then only a couple of times) I recently dated someone who had previously used a lot of hard drugs and been dependant on them. I was never part of that scene, so to speak, but I had no issue with his past. He was clean when I was dating him. I would probably have taken issue if he had started using again, but I was more than happy to listen to him talk about his past, and to be there for him when he felt low because of it.

    I would never judge someone for taking drugs. And I would never not want to be part of someone's life (be that as friend or partner) because of their past.
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    Yes, so long as they were now clean and had been for some time (so not still struggling). If they relapsed I'd be there for them and support them, but only if they actually tried to get clean again and get help. If they refused to try I'd dump leave them there and then.
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    I'm a guy so it's less common but i'd say that if she used to take pills or coke then probably not. It reflects poor judgement on her part.
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    id be really scared tbh hahaha
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    As long as he'd been clean for a while and is now a secure guy who's gotten his **** together... yes, I would date him. I'd be wary though. People can sometimes fall back into old patterns when life gets rough again. I've recently had to cut my best friend out of my life for a while (the bf's 'orders') because he convinced me to do some stupid **** when I was feeling very vulnerable (uni work). I got pretty badly hurt over it (physically/mentally) and he's not sobering up anytime soon. It wasn't his intention to hurt me but you can easily get dragged down with these people. I've tried and tried with him but I've come to the decision that he won't change unless he (by himself) truly wants to. So I'm letting him go for a while. It is killing me. But yes, when he changes I will happily welcome him back into my life. It would be the same if I was dating a guy like that.
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    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    I used to use a lot of drugs. Most of them hard. I now don't. I haven't experienced a lot of judgement as my past few relationships have been with people I met through work/study (substance misuse) so naturally they wouldn't question it in the way others might

    So my question is for those of you outside this type of organisation, would you ever date an ex drug user? And obviously I am not talking about smoking a bit of weed on occasion. I'm talking about someone for whom taking drugs was once problematic, or they were physically/mentally dependent.
    Don't take this personally, but nope :dong:
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    It depends... if the drugs consequently f*cked him and his life up, then no.
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    Yes.
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    I wouldn't mind, if he feels like doing it again, I would prefer it, if he told me instead of doing it secretly. Because I could help him cope, find alternative options and help.


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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    I'm a guy so it's less common but i'd say that if she used to take pills or coke then probably not. It reflects poor judgement on her part.
    I was an IV heroin and Oxy user, so I'm guessing my 'poor judgment' wouldn't work for you haha

    Are there circumstances under which you'd change your mind? Example I have been abstinent for years, I'm well educated and I now help other addicts
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    no
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    (Original post by godivaontherocks)
    As long as he'd been clean for a while and is now a secure guy who's gotten his **** together... yes, I would date him. I'd be wary though. People can sometimes fall back into old patterns when life gets rough again. I've recently had to cut my best friend out of my life for a while (the bf's 'orders' because he convinced me to do some stupid **** when I was feeling very vulnerable (uni work). I got pretty badly hurt over it (physically/mentally) and he's not sobering up anytime soon. It wasn't his intention to hurt me but you can easily get dragged down with these people. I've tried and tried with him but I've come to the decision that he won't change unless he (by himself) truly wants to. So I'm letting him go for a while. It is killing me. But yes, when he changes I will happily welcome him back into my life. It would be the same if I was dating a guy like that.
    I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's never easy to be around an addict whose life is falling apart. They need to make the choice to get well.
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    (Original post by TheFlash123)
    id be really scared tbh hahaha
    Of what?

    Heroin is amazing. There's no two ways about it. But the junkies you see are probably mainly like me at my worst - towards the end you don't use to get high, your tolerance is too high and you can't afford it anyway, but you HAVE to use or you will get dopesick (withdrawal symptoms) I had PAWS for about a year and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Withdrawal is the worst. I'm not saying you should change your mind i just think a lot of people don't realise how stuck a lot of addicts are. They use to not get sick.
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    (Original post by sadly)
    Don't take this personally, but nope :dong:
    Don't take it personally at all! luckily I've never had a problem finding love or else I might be a bit more worried haha
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    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's never easy to be around an addict whose life is falling apart. They need to make the choice to get well.
    Thanks hun. You're right. My boyfriend got upset over how I was hurting myself over him and gave me a choice. I got such an earful the other night about how I have no regard for my own safety when it comes to the wrong people, how I'm loyal to the people who hurt me, he's gonna drag me with him... yada yada. :rolleyes:
    But he had a point. Alex is not gonna change unless he wants to. And I am going to keep getting caught in the crossfire and being hurt. It's just a shame because I ADORE him. He's my best friend. I've known him for ages, I'm the only one who doesn't make light of his situation and gets why he can never get clean. I know that despite his amazing sense of humour, he's deeply insecure and his life is crumbling to ****. He's rich as **** but sometimes gets so out of it I'll find him sleeping in the street at 4am. I feel so helpless. And the other week was just the final straw. I keep getting calls/texts from him and my first instinct is to rush to his aid.
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    Depends if they were an addict or just a user. If they were an addict my opinion of them would worsen significantly but I wouldn't completely call it quits if I felt that they made up for that in other ways. It just makes them look impulsive and a bit immature, honestly. If they were just a drug user I wouldn't really care.
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    I feel like their priorities and focuses may be too centered around that tbh. I think I'd get sick of hearing about it after a while to be extremely honest (e.g. while it's admirable you help; I'd find that all too much)
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    No, I personally would not. One of the reasons would be that their genetials would be smelly and unhygeinic, so that would be a major turn off for me
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    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    I was an IV heroin and Oxy user, so I'm guessing my 'poor judgment' wouldn't work for you haha

    Are there circumstances under which you'd change your mind? Example I have been abstinent for years, I'm well educated and I now help other addicts
    If you told me after i'd decided that i loved you and wanted you to spawn my heirs then possibly, if you told me before though then chances are that i would write you off as a poor emotional investment.
 
 
 
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