Hi, I'm 17 and I'm currently doing my AS exams... god help me...
I am a person who has got quite low confidence and often feels negative about things, but when people get annoyed with me because of it or say "you're being stupid" it upsets me because I simply cannot change it.
Obviously I am stressing over my exams at the moment but I know that everyone else is, but I'm terrified of what will happen if I fail because I can't stand staying another year at my sixth form and I don't know what else I could do. There is no career that really interests me, or if it does then I'm not clever enough. I also really do not enjoy my job.. im a typical waitress in a pub and have to put up with the rest of the staff picking on me because I'm the youngest. one member in particular was horrible to me (pervy) and said if I reported him then he'd say I tried to sexually abuse him. I've applied to so many other jobs but all of them have turned me down and It's beginning to make me wonder what is wrong with me. Pretty much all of my friends have boyfriends which they don't shut up about. I really wish I could find a guy who actually liked me for me and doesn't just want to use me and then make fun of me. I don't have the best relationships with my family, it's definitely not bad but we argue a lot and I always get the blame for it.
I would go and speak to my doctor but I can't go without my mom knowing and she always wants to know my business. The last time I tried to go to the doctor and not tell her why she told me "I'd just be wasting their time".
Also, my friends always leave me out of things. They like to talk to me and then all of a sudden they'll go on a night out without me but still put pictures on facebook or snapchat where I can see them.
I just want to point out that I don't see my life as all doom and gloom. I am slowly learning to drive, I have a good home, at least I do have a job and I have the chance to go to university if I want (providing I pass my a levels and find a course I want to do).
I'm sorry for the rant but maybe you can see why I'm feeling quite down and why I think there must be something wrong with me...
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