Turn on thread page Beta

Why do people become less and less tolerant to those with mental health difficulties? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Hi all,

    Basically, I am at uni in my third year, and should've been graduating this upcoming summer. However, due to circumstances surrounding my mental health (anxiety, depression; low self-esteem), I have had to request for mitigating circumstances, to essentially resit my dissertation over summer.

    I should be handing my long study, and written dissertation in this coming Monday, however, due to anxieties, and stress accumulated over the second semester I had fallen behind on my work. This inevitably had an impact on my overall performance, and where usually I used to get really good marks, and used to feel satisfied with my performance- nowadays I have being handing in work that is sub-par.

    I've noticed that over time, where I used to confide in friends and they understood. Currently, they are less tolerant and I sense the stress and frustrations in their voices as they try to reassure me. I've noticed this gradual change in lecturers when I converse with them and students.

    It makes me feel even more low and in adequate, because I feel like a pain to them, and I know they have work to hand in too. It's just I feel very anxious and my MH difficulties are becoming insurmountable.

    I've got a colourful history of anxiety and depression; and my GP hasn't being helpful lately. He doesn't listen anymore to me-- over the years he has displayed less compassion toward me. Has slowly stopped giving me medication and told me that there is nothing wrong with me. I have lost faith in the health service now, so much so that I am considering private therapy.

    Does anyone have any advice, other than go see my GP...or "get over it" et cetera?
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    You're entitled to seek a second opinion from another GP.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You don't have the legal right to a second opinion but a healthcare proffesional will rarely refuse to refer you for one. source: "How to get a second opinion" http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/910.aspx?CategoryID=68
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    Actually, you do have a right to second opinion. I've seeked a second opinion many times. Each time, with a different outcome.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OU Student)
    Actually, you do have a right to second opinion. I've seeked a second opinion many times. Each time, with a different outcome.
    The problem with my current GP is that he is very friendly, and at times I forget I'm in a medical professionals office. His demeanour is almost like that of a friend down the pub. But I think this is because I've formed a close bond to him over the years; confiding in him about my personal life and such like.

    That being said, I feel because he is more a "friend" than a doctor he often brushes me off, tells me 'there's nothing wrong with me' and not to "tell employers I suffer from anxiety", as though it's something I should be hiding. Also, he has given 'off-the-cuff' remarks to me before which taken in the context of my own personal medical conditions is innapropriate,

    For example- one factual account; I was in his office complaining of stress and anxiety and the need for me to seek mitigation for dissertation work (last year). He turned round and said:

    "Ashley, personally I think that aside from the fact you have cerebral palsy, and you suffer anxiety there is nothing wrong with you. I'm not saying you don't have an excuse, but, I mean sure you walk with a limp, however you could've stood on a land mine in Afghanistan, and this might be why, I just don't think me providing you with a letter of mitigation will help you in the long run".

    I found this mildly offensive because a) I wasn't there to discuss my physical condition (CP), and I didn't feel it relevant when I was there purely for a medial note on the grounds of anxiety for educational reasons. b) I just found it a bit rude and outlandish.

    Additionally, he makes outlandish remarks about the relationships with my girlfriend (he knows details), saying "...and you learned a lot from her didn't you". In a very crude sense, I'm not sure if this is his way of lightening the mood. Furthermore, when I asked for medication he shot me down, and inferred I was crazy in suggesting I wanted anti depressants during exam period. I was kinda pissed at this, because I know I need them to stabilise.
    The dilemma is that I feel uncomfortable after being with this GP for so long, that he has become so uncompassionate.

    I've seen other doctors about similar stuff when he wasn't available and they were ten-fold more worse.

    I'm in a position now where I don't have faith in my GP and the health system when I should be able to go to my GP and access services. The uni and its' counsellors can only do so much.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    one thing I would say is why are you so sure you are right compared to a medical professional on the medication issue? Taking medications isn't something that's just a personal choice, medications have consequences and side effects ad medical professionals are best placed to decide what would and would not be helpful to you, it might be that during exams he felt it wasn't worth the risk of side effects or negative effects if they wouldn't kick in for a few weeks anyway?

    if you're unhappy with your GP find another one, try another practice if you need to, GPs do not have a mass of mental health expertise and for something like your mental health you really need to be clicking with the professional well, more so than for a general physical condition... maybe you should ask for a referral to mental health services or try your counselling service on campus?

    as for your friends, it's horrible but an unfortunate fact, people, especially those who have not known you long, do not want to be carers for their friends and if you are always asking for help, or just asking for help more than you are being fun and a good friend they will feel like you are a negative rather than positive influence and that not being your fault wont matter in their decision to not be friends... people you met at uni will only have a couple of years investment in you and if at this point they are feeling that they wont keep in touch closely they may also feel that they don't want to put more time into you right now - as you pointed out everyone is under a heck of a lot of stress and probably just doesn't have the spare mental strength to support you right now, that doesn't make them bad people, it just makes them human

    maybe try and learn from the experience and try and keep relationships more positive? learn to be a bit more self sufficient emotionally?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 17, 2015

954

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.