Turn on thread page Beta

Dumping girlfriend tomorrow, never actually done it this way before, tips? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Usually when i dumped ex's it was cause of arguments and what not, but this isnt the case like, we never argue, not even once and we've been out for 5 months and we get along fine but i'm going to be away this whole summer and moving away september and i just cant see it working long distance.. shes gorgeous and smart etc but mans gotta go places and i've been thinking about this for a while.. my minds set on it for all you Romeo and Juliets that are gonna tell me to stay with her

    i'm seeing her tomorrow, i already know the basics of what im going to say but i'm her first boyfriend ever and i have a feeling she really, really likes me and will break down etc etc, i want to remind her its not out of bad will whatsoever
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Don't leave her, trust me I know long distance is difficult to work but it can work if you too like her so I would suggest not to leave her you might not find someone like her and might regret to leave her so I would suggest keep in touch with her internet and/or phone and just maybe if you can visit her on weekends or when you can visit.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shantelle999)
    Don't leave her, trust me I know long distance is difficult to work but it can work if you too like her so I would suggest not to leave her you might not find someone like her and might regret to leave her so I would suggest keep in touch with her internet and/or phone and just maybe if you can visit her on weekends or when you can visit.
    ive already told you i've made up my mind, can you not read?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    That is a reason why I don't want to have a boyfriend.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    "Its not you its me."
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    If you're set on it then just make it quick and to the point. Tell her it's not her fault, it's the long distance thing. Blame yourself and just hope you don't completely break the poor girl's heart. There's no easy way to do this
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shantelle999)
    That is a reason why I don't want to have a boyfriend.
    yeah, **** me for doing the right thing instead of trying to make something that will never work happen, right?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charles97)
    Usually when i dumped ex's it was cause of arguments and what not, but this isnt the case like, we never argue, not even once and we've been out for 5 months and we get along fine but i'm going to be away this whole summer and moving away september and i just cant see it working long distance.. shes gorgeous and smart etc but mans gotta go places and i've been thinking about this for a while.. my minds set on it for all you Romeo and Juliets that are gonna tell me to stay with her

    i'm seeing her tomorrow, i already know the basics of what im going to say but i'm her first boyfriend ever and i have a feeling she really, really likes me and will break down etc etc, i want to remind her its not out of bad will whatsoever
    I know it's not what you want to hear, but ultimately, if you could take your girlfriend with you, would you still stay with her? Like @shantelle999 said, you can make long distance work, and you may not find a girl as compatible as her, like, ever. Are you going to university in September? There's plenty of time to visit.

    Heck I know a person, who's from Colorado Springs, and he went to university in Pocatello, Idaho. His girlfriend lives in Oklahoma, and they make it work, because they are willing to put in the time and effort. They keep in contact with video chat and make it work. Many others had girlfriends in Washington -- at least 12 hours driving. In the UK, quite frankly, you can visit every other week without much issue.

    Ultimately, you know, if you're not willing to put in the effort, frankly, you don't deserve her anyway. Quite frankly you owe it to her to at least give it the LDR a good shot -- plenty of resources on TSR for that -- and if it doesn't work, the breakup would be more manageable.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    If you're set on it then just make it quick and to the point. Tell her it's not her fault, it's the long distance thing. Blame yourself and just hope you don't completely break the poor girl's heart. There's no easy way to do this
    I know, its **** .. i never imagined i'd be moving away in a million years.. im not going to blame myself as its nobodies fault here, i wouldnt have got with her if i knew i'd be moving away but i didnt. idk
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    in the olden days you would be sued for this for wreath money, or forced to marry, or any number of things in various cultures in time. I kind of think its a shame theres no protection or revenge/compensation etc for overly trusting guys or girls these days when they end up with a total prick who leaves them when they get bored of them or it becomes convenient. Youve got no honour at all.
    So what you're saying is that everyone should be forced to permanently stay with their first partner?

    ...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jammy4041)
    I know it's not what you want to hear, but ultimately, if you could take your girlfriend with you, would you still stay with her? Like @shantelle999 said, you can make long distance work, and you may not find a girl as compatible as her, like, ever. Are you going to university in September? There's plenty of time to visit.

    Heck I know a person, who's from Colorado Springs, and he went to university in Pocatello, Idaho. His girlfriend lives in Oklahoma, and they make it work, because they are willing to put in the time and effort. They keep in contact with video chat and make it work. Many others had girlfriends in Washington -- at least 12 hours driving. In the UK, quite frankly, you can visit every other week without much issue.

    Ultimately, you know, if you're not willing to put in the effort, frankly, you don't deserve her anyway. Quite frankly you owe it to her to at least give it the LDR a good shot -- plenty of resources on TSR for that -- and if it doesn't work, the breakup would be more manageable.
    put it this way, i've had plenty, and i mean plenty of friends that have tried long distance. it NEVER works, not as this age anyways. like i said, my mind is set,
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    in the olden days you would be sued for this for wreath money, or forced to marry, or any number of things in various cultures in time. I kind of think its a shame theres no protection or revenge/compensation etc for overly trusting guys or girls these days when they end up with a total prick who leaves them when they get bored of them or it becomes convenient. Youve got no honour at all.
    bored of them? dont like them? when did i say any of this? im going away to study and focus on my goals and ambitions, its a shame she cant be there with me but thats just how it is. don't call me a prick for dumping my own girlfriend because i believe that it wont go anywhere further if im not around. the audacity..
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Poor girl what if she is madly in love with you and she kills herself cause you dump her???
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charles97)
    put it this way, i've had plenty, and i mean plenty of friends that have tried long distance. it NEVER works, not as this age anyways. like i said, my mind is set,
    okay...whatever. If you're willing to base the prospects for an LDR with a girl who is obviously perfect for you, on the basis of what your friends have done, don't be surprised when she takes it very badly and it's a horrible break-up.

    Your best option would be the "let's stay friends" approach, blame yourself, and emphasize how it's not her fault, and that you want to have her find someone who actually deserves her.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shantelle999)
    Poor girl what if she is madly in love with you and she kills herself cause you dump her???
    please refrain from posting again
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jammy4041)
    okay...whatever. If you're willing to base the prospects for an LDR with a girl who is obviously perfect for you, on the basis of what your friends have done, don't be surprised when she takes it very badly and it's a horrible break-up.

    Your best option would be the "let's stay friends" approach.
    "obviously perfect" where are you people getting this stuff from? pulling it out of thin air lol.. the lets stay friends approach is weak. im thinking of just saying like "its been amazing but because of whats soon to happen i dont think its going to work, you're beautiful and smart and its not your fault" etc etc :/
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    if she wants to stay with him, he gave her the impression he will stay with her by for example lying that he loves her, she gave her virginity to him, then yeah he should be forced to marry her imo. Or pay her a lot of money like £20k or something at least to call the wedding off. If she wants to leave him then I think she should be able to. That's just called taking some responsibility before you screw someone rather than just taking the liberty to be with someone who's never had a relationship before, then dump them when you're done with them. In a way it's her fault though for not making him buy her an engagement ring at the least, or marrying, before offering sex, so she could take half his possessions when he dumps her. Theres a reason things like engagement rings used to exist, they were security against the guy dumping the girl, so she could at least take a lot of his money if he does! But yeah, I think it's more honourable for sure to respect that kind of thing and take responsibility especially if you're with someone who hasnt had a relationship before. He does have no honour, but it's also partially her fault for trusting him, although you can hardly be blamed so much for naivety and trusting.
    can you also please stop posting, thanks.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You asked people's opinions. Its a free world and everybody is free to say what they think even if you don't like it.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charles97)
    I know, its **** .. i never imagined i'd be moving away in a million years.. im not going to blame myself as its nobodies fault here, i wouldnt have got with her if i knew i'd be moving away but i didnt. idk
    Since you say you're her first bf and she cares deeply for you, my advice would still be to blame yourself even if you don't believe it. It will help soften the blow as she will most likely blame herself in some ways for not being good enough for you to carry on a LDR. If she wanted to carry it on and you didn't want to try then technically you would have some blame especially as you say she is nice and has done nothing wrong.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by icdjabtjk)
    no but can you please stop posting? thanks.
    just, please. i cba with trolls like you telling me i owe her 20k or whatever because im breaking up on good terms... so stupid
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 16, 2015

2,537

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.