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"Best friend" taking advantage watch

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    Been housesharing with best friend since last summer. All going well, we've been close friends for the last four years or so.

    Her bf was in between houses last autumn so ended up staying with us. And staying and staying. What should been two weeks turned into four, which ultimately turned a couple of months. I mentioned that as much as I liked him (he's a nice guy), we'd decided from the very beginning to live as a two; he was great but if he wanted to live with us, could we make a new arrangement about bills etc etc? He didn't contribute. Whatever, I didn't mind, he tried to pull his weight in other ways. The main issue was that it's a small house built for two people; not three.

    Eventually, he found a place but has still been spending a lot of time here. I don't begrudge them this at all and have always felt included - it's been like living with friends. Only problem though was that as I mentioned, it is a house built for two and sometimes I just want to veg out on the sofa/walk around in a towel/whatever. Which obviously doesn't feel right in the circumstances.

    I went home for the easter hols and she basically moved him in. his stuff was here, his food in the fridge and she had given him her key so he could "collect his clothes" every day, which he apparently stores in her wardrobe (he lives five mins down the road) :/ She went away one night and he stayed over without her, they both told me different stories as to why he needed to stay over in her absence! This is despite her insisting to me that he only ever stayed at the house when she was there.

    I feel completely taken advantage of! I brought it up with her last night and her attitude was basically suck it up. She says that as long as she pays rent, it doesn't matter and best of all, how does him sleeping there even affect me?! When I said it was the deception that bothered me (they both had different reasons as to why he was staying there by himself), she said it was none of my business why he stayed!

    What to do? I was very calm when I spoke to her about it and she has just refused to see my POV at all. We are now not speaking!
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    We are both in final year of uni btw.

    I pay half the rent and bills.

    This arrangement has clearly benefited her so much for the past few months, while I have been biting my tongue and trying to be a good friend to her! I mentioned it to her twice but each time she fobbed me off. She has slept at his house ONCE in the whole time we have lived together.

    Water under the bridge and all that but this last incident was the final straw and made me see red. SO gutted she cant even acknoledge my POV. Worth mentioning that he's moving away tomorrow (this was partly why I brought it up, wanted to clear the air before he left and make it known that my issue was not with him, it was just about their handling of the situation) so will not affect me again. But thats kind of not the point
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    (Original post by AllySweet)
    Been housesharing with best friend since last summer. All going well, we've been close friends for the last four years or so.

    Her bf was in between houses last autumn so ended up staying with us. And staying and staying. What should been two weeks turned into four, which ultimately turned a couple of months. I mentioned that as much as I liked him (he's a nice guy), we'd decided from the very beginning to live as a two; he was great but if he wanted to live with us, could we make a new arrangement about bills etc etc? He didn't contribute. Whatever, I didn't mind, he tried to pull his weight in other ways. The main issue was that it's a small house built for two people; not three.

    Eventually, he found a place but has still been spending a lot of time here. I don't begrudge them this at all and have always felt included - it's been like living with friends. Only problem though was that as I mentioned, it is a house built for two and sometimes I just want to veg out on the sofa/walk around in a towel/whatever. Which obviously doesn't feel right in the circumstances.

    I went home for the easter hols and she basically moved him in. his stuff was here, his food in the fridge and she had given him her key so he could "collect his clothes" every day, which he apparently stores in her wardrobe (he lives five mins down the road) :/ She went away one night and he stayed over without her, they both told me different stories as to why he needed to stay over in her absence! This is despite her insisting to me that he only ever stayed at the house when she was there.

    I feel completely taken advantage of! I brought it up with her last night and her attitude was basically suck it up. She says that as long as she pays rent, it doesn't matter and best of all, how does him sleeping there even affect me?! When I said it was the deception that bothered me (they both had different reasons as to why he was staying there by himself), she said it was none of my business why he stayed!

    What to do? I was very calm when I spoke to her about it and she has just refused to see my POV at all. We are now not speaking!
    Leave, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life, life is too precious to be wasted on those who don't care.

    #yolo #cestlavie #thatmeansitsyourlifeinfrenchbtw #trygfrozenredgrapestheyresoooog ood #lota #bodna

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    your in your last year, wait it out, not worth the fallout really. better for you just to wait them out, and if she says do you want to live together after uni you now know to say no
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    Thanks! We;re tied into a contract that stretches until the end of september though!!!
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    true! but i just feel like there's something fundamentally unfair about the whole situation!
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    tl;dr
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    also looking for advice really on how to manage the situation? as mentioned we're unfortunately not on speaking terms. I just think she has been incredibly cowardly and behaved in a really appalling way tbh
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    TLDR my flatmate/"best friend" has used me the whole year as source of free rent and bills to subsidise her and her loser boyfriend. When I called them up on this after they lied to my face and he stayed her without her overnight (only me in house) she refused to see my POV and said it was none of my business/didn't affect me at all. Clearly this is bull. How to respond.
 
 
 
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