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Hitting children ever acceptable? watch

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    (Original post by undine_monty)
    I see you around the forums a lot and your comments seriously crack me up :toofunny:
    :hat2:
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    (Original post by ILovePancakes)
    If she really "beat the living daylights" out of you, then surely that would have done enough to bruise you? Tbh that sounds extremely violent to me.
    Yeah, perhaps I was exaggerating a little. She would never leave me bruised, as far as I know. Just red.

    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Your parents actually broke the law if they left marks on you from hitting you. The fact that you approve of their behaviour in this area and think of physical and verbal violence as 'nurturing' behaviours is extremely concerning. This isn't 'discipline', it's violence. There should be no allowed room for this abuse in the arsenal of a responsible, competent parent in disciplining their child. There are plenty of other methods of discipline which are more effective and do not damage the child physically and/or psychologically.
    The state needs to stop thinking that it knows how best to raise children and society in general. Instead, they should use their time and resources looking after the children who are neglected, bullied or molested by their parents. If you go to ANY Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Indian family, kids will laugh about how their mum's hit them. It doesn't hurt us, it's just a reprimand. You only need to look at OP/first page of this thread to see how people respond to their Black/Brown/Asian parents hit them.

    If YOU don't want to raise YOUR children like that, you don't have to. You certainly don't have the right to tell me how to raise my kids when my parents and their parents and their parents have been raising their kids in the same way for generations, each offspring probably more successful than the last. I hope to God my kids are better than me and, if they are, it'll be because I've compounded the experiences I've gained from the way both my mother and my father have raised me.
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    (Original post by Onde)
    Hitting children shows you cannot rationalise with them and are attempting to correct them via force. Why correct a wrong by hitting someone smaller than you? Why correct a wrong by hitting someone the same size as you?

    I've known instances where mentally ill parents have hit their children for doing something that was actually perfectly logical.

    I wouldn't say that hitting children should be absolutely frowned upon as there are far too many grey areas, e.g. the competency of the parent as well as instances where the immediacy of some grave danger or other to a child may mean such an assault may be a lesser evil.
    By definition, children are not rational. It's the parent's job to instil rational thought into a child. If people have been doing that by smacking kids for thousands of years, who are you to reject their parenting and call them incompetent?

    Tell me, have you ever had a dog? Do you know how to train one? You can always teach by positive reinforcement, but it would take you a lot longer to train a dog if you decided that you were never going to tap their nose or shout at them. Young animals LEARN by bad stuff happening. Babies put things in their mouth, regardless of the safety of the object. Scissors, lemons, wasps, you name it, it goes in. Toddlers beat up siblings for attention. If you don't keep them away from these things, protect them or reprimand them in the first place with a light tap, what's to say that, when something really dangerous comes around, they have no inhibitions stopping them from hurting themselves?
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    (Original post by Onde)
    I had a cat, and I trained it to crap outside without hitting it.

    Tradition alone is not a good justification for anything. I wouldn't hit a mentally ill person either to "instil rational thought" into them.
    Brilliant, reductio ad absurdum!

    'Let's take the disabled kid who isn't (as) capable of learning by either positive OR negative reinforcement and try to win an argument!'

    Unfortunately, you can't use somebody who's a natural exception to prove a rule for the masses. Also, tradition is plenty a reason if it works without drawbacks.
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    Hitting defenceless, vulnerable children is never justified. If that's what you have to resort to to discipline your child, then you're probably not fit to be a parent.
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    (Original post by Onde)
    My first post in this thread was rather clear. I didn't see the point of using violence to persuade a child that what they are doing is wrong. I didn't preclude the possibility of hitting in extreme circumstances, but what I have in mind is more a tactile measure rather than something severe (i.e. a punishment).

    You said "thousands of years" to attempt to justify your point. If your point was justified, it wouldn't need this qualification.
    Lol, it wasn't a justification at all, it was a fact.
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    (Original post by Onde)
    How many dogs have you hit btw?
    Whattt- people have abused animals? *Squints eyes* Who and where..

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    (Original post by Onde)
    AdamskiUK believes hitting children is ok as a form of negative reinforcement, and started asking me if I had ever trained a dog. I don't seriously believe AdamskiUK beats dogs: I was thus wondering why he considers it acceptable to hit children but not dogs if he is going to bring up dogs in this context.
    Oh right, I understand.- Thank you for explaning.

    I think hitting children is wrong too, infact it is beyond wrong. All of your arguments in response to his comments have been great btw and I completely agree.

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    a smack is fine
    a beating is not
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    (Original post by Onde)
    How many dogs have you hit btw?
    Ehhhhh, one? Perhaps? And guess what. He still bounds to the door to see me every single time I go around. He still dives on me, he still lies on top of me when I'm on the sofa, and he still fetches his toys for me. To call tapping a dog on the nose 'a beating' is an actual joke. You really need to apply for some sort of comedy panel, I'd watch it.

    (Original post by Onde)
    This website suggests from research that the "Authoritative" parenting style (parents who encourage kids to be responsible, to think for themselves, and to consider the reasons for rules) is the best:
    http://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-styles.html

    I know from reading research in the past that children who had violence (including corporal punishment) in their lives from a young age tend to have lower IQs.
    Ok, well, you do that. When you, or your parents, raise a kid who's at medical school and another who's getting top marks at the grammar school he's at, then we'll trade blows (unintentional pun hahaha) on intelligence. That goes for the hundreds of Asian kids up and down the country whose parents have apparently 'beaten them to lower intelligence' when they're getting into top degrees at top universities.

    This is my last response, I'm bored of your holier than thou attitude to raising kids, supported by non-existent 'research' and a website which looks like it was coded by a 4 year-old. Study sociology and you'll come around to the same view most of my cohort have about these researchers. They talk utter rubbish. Go pick up a copy of Ogden for yourself and take a look.
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    (Original post by Onde)
    I know from reading research in the past that children who had violence (including corporal punishment) in their lives from a young age tend to have lower IQs.
    I seriously doubt this was the result of being hit at a young age. It is probably a correlation =/= causation effect where those from lower income, lower educational standards families have higher incidences of physical violence as a form of parenting.
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    (Original post by teenhorrorstory)
    So I recently came across someone on twitter talking about how it's always wrong and immoral to hit your child , even as a form of punishment or discipline. Growing up in an African household, i got hit whenever I misbehaved. Looking back now i feel no anger towards my mum for doing so, and think it was an effective way of disciplining me(obviously there are other non physical ways.) What do you lot think?

    Also please include your ethnicity and where you grew up
    (quite apparent what I am)
    Yes I have been beaten as a kid and it didn't help. It just made me fume in this cesspool of anger and then want to kill people when I left the house. So one day when we moved back in with my dad and my mother was sort of desperate to keep him, she listened to him tell her to "put her foot in our asses" (he's black, Taino and French from Haiti) and so...some time later, I ate candy and my mother beat me for hours and my dad didn't do anything

    I've always hated them, but that is when it became unforgivable and so I reported her when I got to school the next day My dad later attacked my mother when he was drunk and we had to flee. My mother doesn't really hit me and my older sister anymore, she just grabs us by our hair and throats and tells us to leave :laugh: I hate when she hits my little sister so sometimes I think I'll report her but I want to wait for the perfect time.

    (Original post by Arkasia)
    I'd love to give the little chavs who live near me an uppercut to the jaw, but they'd probably knife me in the gut.
    :closedeyes:

    (Original post by teenhorrorstory)
    Tfw you're about to get slapped and you dodge then your mum's all like "OHH YOU THINK THIS IS A BOXING MATCH SO YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME"
    I thought that was just my crazy mother :mad: I hate hearing my little sister cry when my mother hits her :bawling:
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    Like for example I don't think it's acceptable to slap your child for spilling a drink on the floor.
    I agree, that's when it becomes abuse and in that regard, I was abused but let's be real, children get hit for that all the time. It's just disgusting and they're flat out bullies. Plain and ****ing simple because when I was younger she knocked me over and threw **** at me and punched me for nothing but now that I'm older and stronger my mother seems to not even dare to go physically toe to toe with me, though, right? Hmmph :closedeyes:

    Acceptable:
    A little smack on the hand for talking back, or bad manners,
    and no privileges for bad grades,
    and straps across the bum, while clothed, for if they get caught doing something they're not supposed to do, unless response from the law literally beats the parent to the punch.

    Unacceptable:
    spanking me nude or throwing an iron at me for talking back Like ***** calm your crazy ass down :talkhand:

    (Original post by EdmundWoodstock)
    I don't think it is acceptable, it instills into the child that violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
    Amen, Edmund :love:
    It's also clearly culture. A sick culture.
    "My parents beat my arse, I'm gonna beat your arse too!" Like that's reasonable. I always say, And did getting gashes in your arm benefit you at all? No. Still a stupid loser, aren't you?
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    (Original post by Onde)
    Studies generally take such factors into account.
    Please link me to a study which demonstrates that being hit at a young age directly impacts on a child's IQ or inherent intelligence generally.
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    (Original post by teenhorrorstory)
    So I recently came across someone on twitter talking about how it's always wrong and immoral to hit your child , even as a form of punishment or discipline. Growing up in an African household, i got hit whenever I misbehaved. Looking back now i feel no anger towards my mum for doing so, and think it was an effective way of disciplining me(obviously there are other non physical ways.) What do you lot think?

    Also please include your ethnicity and where you grew up
    White British, I completely agree, smacking a child as a form of discipline is completely acceptable, it's wrong for any other reason.
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    (Original post by Schrödingers Cat)
    White British

    In my opinion parents shouldn't hit their children and any parents who do hit their children are terrible parents who don't know self control. It astounds me how somehow could hit their own child?

    Violence instills fear into the child and builds an unhealthy relationship with the parent.

    Plenty of other ways to discipline a child, not that a child should need to be disciplined if you raise them correctly and fairly however.
    I sometimes see parents in restaurants who let their kids go completely out of control, doing cartwheels and acrobatics around the place. This poses a bigger risk of the waiting staff hurting themselves or others getting hurt as children are running around a busy area like lunatics. I was smacked for being bad as a child, by the age of 6 I sat in my seat and did not do any acrobatics in public places, and smacking taught me that that exact kind of behaviour can raise the possibility of risks in places such as a restaurant.
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    (Original post by EdmundWoodstock)
    I don't think it is acceptable, it instills into the child that violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
    Take it from someone who was smacked as a child, I believe violence is wrong except for self defense.
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    (Original post by SuckMeBeautiful)
    Often people with ****ty personalities will have those personalities despite of what their parents teach them. In fact, many spoilt bullies come from families where their parents are too nice with them and thus they think they can do anything and everything.
    A child's parents are the single biggest influence on them. It's not that some kids have genetic predispositions to be arses, their parents just don't know how to be parents. It's not about teaching, it's about discipline.
 
 
 

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