The Student Room Group

Mismatched sex drives?

I don't get to see my boyfriend very often at the moment (I've got exams.) Whenever I do get to see him he never seems that up for sex except in the mornings. We did once joke around about it, saying how we're out of sink with him being horny in the mornings and me at night. Whenever I do stay over at his I end up feeling like I'm cajoling him into sex at night. He often says he's just tired and we can do it in the morning. He's a sportsman and works out a lot and is often tired from training, so I feel bad for doing it, but I only stay over at his once a week tops, which means that if we don't do it at night I get sex once a week at the most.

Sometimes in the morning I'll give him a hj/bj and he won't stop me to have sex, but will just let me carry on until he orgasms and I'll get nothing!

I'm thinking he just has a really low sex drive? We've probably only had sex about 15 times in our 5 month relationship (considering we started out having a ons you can see the irony in this lmaooo.) He's not had many sexual partners and I worked out from something he told me about his sexual past that he went without sex for a good 2 years once.

I'm certainly not sex-obsessed but if I'm only seeing him once a week I'd like sex at least once or twice during that time. Once exams are over I'll be staying over a few more times during the week - probably mid-week and the whole weekend, but I don't have high hopes of things changing!

Our relationship is more than just sex and it's not a deal-breaker to me at all, but I wish our sex drives were just slightly better matched. I know people's sex drives vary, but it does seem unusual for a guy to want it so little. I've thought about talking to him about it, but don't really know what to say!
Reply 1
Sex drive mismatch is the reality of most longer term relationships I reckon. Mind you I think the frequency you describe is probably below average for the honeymoon period first 5 months! Was your ons in the morning or evening!?

All I can suggest is to talk about how you feel and get to a compromise. For me, I am the one with the higher sex drive and often feel rejected. She is a morning person and I am an evening person. The thing about sex is, a bit like hunger, if you don't fell like it at the time you just don't feel like it - although once you get started I think the mood can build.
An important part of reaching agreement for me was having a good idea when we will set aside time. With us it's 1-2 times per week and I reflect that it's a lot better than when single:biggrin: Good luck with the discussions.
1. Wait till after exams.
2. Have long and slightly awkward talk.
3. Introduce parity of orgasms.

Repeat steps 2. and 3. until relationship thrives or fails altogether.
Reply 3
Original post by superwolf
1. Wait till after exams.
2. Have long and slightly awkward talk.
3. Introduce parity of orgasms.

Repeat steps 2. and 3. until relationship thrives or fails altogether.
reasonsble advise
Original post by Anonymous
I don't get to see my boyfriend very often at the moment (I've got exams.) Whenever I do get to see him he never seems that up for sex except in the mornings. We did once joke around about it, saying how we're out of sink with him being horny in the mornings and me at night. Whenever I do stay over at his I end up feeling like I'm cajoling him into sex at night. He often says he's just tired and we can do it in the morning. He's a sportsman and works out a lot and is often tired from training, so I feel bad for doing it, but I only stay over at his once a week tops, which means that if we don't do it at night I get sex once a week at the most.

Sometimes in the morning I'll give him a hj/bj and he won't stop me to have sex, but will just let me carry on until he orgasms and I'll get nothing!

I'm thinking he just has a really low sex drive? We've probably only had sex about 15 times in our 5 month relationship (considering we started out having a ons you can see the irony in this lmaooo.) He's not had many sexual partners and I worked out from something he told me about his sexual past that he went without sex for a good 2 years once.

I'm certainly not sex-obsessed but if I'm only seeing him once a week I'd like sex at least once or twice during that time. Once exams are over I'll be staying over a few more times during the week - probably mid-week and the whole weekend, but I don't have high hopes of things changing!

Our relationship is more than just sex and it's not a deal-breaker to me at all, but I wish our sex drives were just slightly better matched. I know people's sex drives vary, but it does seem unusual for a guy to want it so little. I've thought about talking to him about it, but don't really know what to say!


just watch ::::: and stop crying

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending