The Student Room Group

If you're not Oxbridge, you're wasting your time

We’re the two oldest universities in the country. Until the glorious leap year of 1832, we were the only universities in the country. We’re also two of the best universities in the world. And, aside from a couple of the upstart London unis, no one else comes close.

A few weeks ago you were told that if you weren’t at a Russell Group uni, you shouldn’t bother going to uni at all but this article was written by a Nottingham student, who in his blindness ignored the reality of the situation. It’s not just non-Russell Group unis that are pointless. It’s every uni other than Oxbridge.


This is literally where I live

These are two unis draped in history, and it shows in all the best ways. Black tie balls every week, three course dinners in the hall used to film Harry Potter every night, chapels that rival some of the best in Rome. The biggest crisis at our student unions right now is whether we should make wearing the posh dress of white tie, a gown and carnation to exams compulsory or not. We’re also the only two universities to actually have an admissions process worth having. Judging you by the bull**** you put down on your personal statement? Jog on we have to fight our way through interviews that make Paxman look easy. Once we’re in, we don’t piss about with one essay a term or compulsory lectures. We do more work in a day than you do in the entirety of your degree. And we’re only there for eight weeks at a time.

We don’t do some doss modular system either. Nothing matters except for your final exams, which are the toughest papers you’ll ever sit. That’s academic rigour, not “your first year counts for 20 per cent” crap. And we can’t shy away from it, like in classes and seminars. Our one-on-one tutorials (or supervisions, if you’re at Cambridge) are 60 minutes of arguing with the world-leading expert on your subject. Now that’s value for your £9k. But it’s not like we don’t have a social life. We all adopt the work hard, play hard approach to life. Even our drinking societies are world famous. Does your uni drinking society have a movie made about it because of how outrageous it is?

Don’t forget that we’re filthy rich, too. The Oxford and Cambridge colleges have, collectively, a net worth of over £7 billion. We own assets that include the O2 Arena, and there’s the famous adage that you can get from Oxford to London by walking only on St John’s-owned land. But you know what we have that no one else does? A reputation that no one can escape, wherever we go. We’re the only two internationally known universities in the country, with a boat race watched by 15 million people every year. Our Varsity Rugby is in Twickenham Stadium, not quite the same as your fight with the poly in the park.
Almost every comedian, politician, journalist, philosopher, actor and author worth knowing has come through our doors. My pub quizzes are in the pub where JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis wrote some of the greatest pieces of fiction of all time. We’re surrounded by memories (and paintings) of some of the greatest humans to have ever lived. And the best part is knowing that when we graduate, we’ll all become just as rich, famous and successful.

Warwick is quite good for economics. Exeter’s English degree is respected. Pish. You might rank slightly higher on an arbitrary league table. Yes, you might get a job at the end of your degree. But we’ll be your bosses. Because there is nothing sweeter than the honorary masters we get just for showing up. There is one downside to the life of an Oxbridge student. In the holidays, when we leave our 200 year old bedrooms and meet up with home friends, we are sometimes faced with the difficult question of “So, where do you go to uni?”. But we can’t answer without sounding arrogant it’s quite the dilemma. And though your jealousy may make us feel a bit awkward, it’s a small tradeoff for all that we’ve got going for us. We’re all drowning in debt, but at least ours is worth it. So carry on laughing at the polys, my Russell Group friends, if it makes you feel better. We’ll stay quite content safe in the knowledge that our position at the top is secured. Until we talk to those Yank bastards at Harvard, at least.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
its true
Eh I was thinking about Oxbridge before reading this :/
Maybe time to do some more research ^-^
Original post by *SweaterWeather*
Eh I was thinking about Oxbridge before reading this :/
Maybe time to do some more research ^-^


Quite rightly so, we're the only universities worth considering.
Reply 5
This is a terrible attempt at trolling...
Original post by James E Walker
.


Lol you dont even go to oxford or cambridge do you.
Original post by newblood
Lol you dont even go to oxford or cambridge do you.


CS Tripos - Queen's
Plagiarism of a crappy click-bait article written for the Tab.

Don't listen to the excessive ramblings of a linguistically-mediocre, elitist ****. Ironically, his cultivated image of the superior oxbridge undergraduate student is ripped to pieces by his grating ****-spewing.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by James E Walker
CS Tripos - Queen's


You dont go Cambridge lol. If you actually went there you would know how to spell your own colleges name

FYI it's Queens'.
The title is grammatically incorrect, no one can 'be' Oxbridge.

If you do attend Oxbridge, you'd know this.
Sounded alittle arrogant to me. But I'm not at Oxbridge yet so I obviously don't know.
1/10 for effort

3/10 for delivery

need to work on your troll game son.
Lol
so what about MIT?
Original post by James E Walker



This is literally where I live

These are two unis draped in history, and it shows in all the best ways. Black tie balls every week, three course dinners in the hall used to film Harry Potter every night, chapels that rival some of the best in Rome. The biggest crisis at our student unions right now is whether we should make wearing the posh dress of white tie, a gown and carnation to exams compulsory or not. We’re also the only two universities to actually have an admissions process worth having. Judging you by the bull**** you put down on your personal statement? Jog on we have to fight our way through interviews that make Paxman look easy. Once we’re in, we don’t piss about with one essay a term or compulsory lectures. We do more work in a day than you do in the entirety of your degree. And we’re only there for eight weeks at a time.


Ah Keble... It always reminds me of a lasagne... though living there would make my life so much easier... would mean I could literally roll out of bed into department across the road...

So... Balls every week? WRONG. Ok to be fair, in Trinity there are balls most weeks and a couple in Mic but hardly any the rest of the year... (and unless you do something that means you work at balls like RAG casino chances are you'll only go to 5 or 6 in your time there tops.)

Three course dinners in Ch Ch hall every night? Ok that's true but it is an exception not the rule. Most colleges have three course dinners maybe two or three times a week.

'chapels that rival the best in Rome' - have you ever been to Rome? Oxbridge chapels really don't... and I've sung in a fair few of them at both unis... They are certainly nice but not a patch on the Sistine chapel

That's hardly OUSU's biggest crisis - just the one that affects the most students directly. Also, I will point out to you that sub fusc is not white tie - it's merely a suit with a plain white shirt and bow tie (which incidentally is allowed to be black, though white marcella is preferred). Also, the carnation was never compulsory and isn't actually part of full academic dress.

Yes admissions are rigourous but you grossly misrepresent the difficulty. Also, even though there is a lot of work and it's hard you are hugely exagerating.

People like you are the worst sort of people and you put off exceptional candidates who may have done very well. Your post and others like it are the single most damaging thing to access.

No do you want to stop being butthurt that other unis are becoming perceived as competitive?


P.S. This is where I live


P.P.S. The OP was hardly your original work now was it? Plagiarism gets you sent down you know... http://oxford.tab.co.uk/2015/05/15/dont-kid-youre-not-oxbridge-youre-wasting-time/
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by James E Walker
CS Tripos - Queen's


So... a Cambridge course and an Oxford College.... Interesting...

Queen's is in Oxford (The Queen's College to give my college its full name), Queens' College is in Cambridge. Also fyi, Queen's doesn't offer CS.
Original post by James E Walker
We’re the two oldest universities in the country. Until the glorious leap year of 1832, we were the only universities in the country. We’re also two of the best universities in the world. And, aside from a couple of the upstart London unis, no one else comes close.

A few weeks ago you were told that if you weren’t at a Russell Group uni, you shouldn’t bother going to uni at all but this article was written by a Nottingham student, who in his blindness ignored the reality of the situation. It’s not just non-Russell Group unis that are pointless. It’s every uni other than Oxbridge.


This is literally where I live

These are two unis draped in history, and it shows in all the best ways. Black tie balls every week, three course dinners in the hall used to film Harry Potter every night, chapels that rival some of the best in Rome. The biggest crisis at our student unions right now is whether we should make wearing the posh dress of white tie, a gown and carnation to exams compulsory or not. We’re also the only two universities to actually have an admissions process worth having. Judging you by the bull**** you put down on your personal statement? Jog on we have to fight our way through interviews that make Paxman look easy. Once we’re in, we don’t piss about with one essay a term or compulsory lectures. We do more work in a day than you do in the entirety of your degree. And we’re only there for eight weeks at a time.

We don’t do some doss modular system either. Nothing matters except for your final exams, which are the toughest papers you’ll ever sit. That’s academic rigour, not “your first year counts for 20 per cent” crap. And we can’t shy away from it, like in classes and seminars. Our one-on-one tutorials (or supervisions, if you’re at Cambridge) are 60 minutes of arguing with the world-leading expert on your subject. Now that’s value for your £9k. But it’s not like we don’t have a social life. We all adopt the work hard, play hard approach to life. Even our drinking societies are world famous. Does your uni drinking society have a movie made about it because of how outrageous it is?

Don’t forget that we’re filthy rich, too. The Oxford and Cambridge colleges have, collectively, a net worth of over £7 billion. We own assets that include the O2 Arena, and there’s the famous adage that you can get from Oxford to London by walking only on St John’s-owned land. But you know what we have that no one else does? A reputation that no one can escape, wherever we go. We’re the only two internationally known universities in the country, with a boat race watched by 15 million people every year. Our Varsity Rugby is in Twickenham Stadium, not quite the same as your fight with the poly in the park.
Almost every comedian, politician, journalist, philosopher, actor and author worth knowing has come through our doors. My pub quizzes are in the pub where JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis wrote some of the greatest pieces of fiction of all time. We’re surrounded by memories (and paintings) of some of the greatest humans to have ever lived. And the best part is knowing that when we graduate, we’ll all become just as rich, famous and successful.

Warwick is quite good for economics. Exeter’s English degree is respected. Pish. You might rank slightly higher on an arbitrary league table. Yes, you might get a job at the end of your degree. But we’ll be your bosses. Because there is nothing sweeter than the honorary masters we get just for showing up. There is one downside to the life of an Oxbridge student. In the holidays, when we leave our 200 year old bedrooms and meet up with home friends, we are sometimes faced with the difficult question of “So, where do you go to uni?”. But we can’t answer without sounding arrogant it’s quite the dilemma. And though your jealousy may make us feel a bit awkward, it’s a small tradeoff for all that we’ve got going for us. We’re all drowning in debt, but at least ours is worth it. So carry on laughing at the polys, my Russell Group friends, if it makes you feel better. We’ll stay quite content safe in the knowledge that our position at the top is secured. Until we talk to those Yank bastards at Harvard, at least.


Plagiarism at it's finest.
Original post by *SweaterWeather*
Eh I was thinking about Oxbridge before reading this :/
Maybe time to do some more research ^-^


Please don't judge us by this... Even if the original was written by someone at Oxford... It's also full of inaccuracies.

Things like this are what put off exceptional people who would benefit greatly from the Oxbridge system. There are a couple of people who hold this disgusting view but the vast majority of people are nice, normal people.

If you really are considering Oxbridge I suggest you get in touch with either of
fluteflute
x

or
Noble
x

or myself.
Original post by natninja
x


Original post by natninja
x


Original post by EatAndRevise
x


The joke died time ago

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