Hi, so recently I seem to have lost most of my self-confidence (not that I had much to begin with) and really need advice. I'm 16 and my posture is horrendous, I have an anterior pelvic tilt- meaning my spine is REALLY curved and my stomach sticks out. Now, this would be okay; but I am a bit chubby, so my stomach looks even worse :/ this also causes me to have a bad walk, I'm too self aware and barely move my arms when walking: I literally can't walk properly. The other day, two people in the year below me (who are very rude- I might add) said whilst walking behind me "why do some people walk like retards?" I got to my tutor room at school and couldn't stop crying. People have started laughing at me and I've had enough.
I also have pretty bad acne; although this doesn't bother me much. I went to the doctors and she suggested I should take some antibiotics. this didn't work and I cover up my skin everyday with foundation. However, this isn't a priority for helping me to become more confident, as I've already had it for 4 years now.
Does anyone have any advice about what I can do to regain my self-confidence, improve my walk and posture- or any advice in general, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks
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I've had enough and need some advice... watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-05-2015 15:47
- 16-05-2015 21:05
I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling at the moment, but I assure you that things will get better.
I'm equally sorry that the ignorant, insensitive individuals to whom you referred caused you upset, but their comments simply reflect their lack of intelligence and immaturity - they belong in a zoo, never mind a school!
I hope you feel able to speak to your family and friends about how you're feeling, as I really think talking is a great emotional outlet. Maybe you'd consider talking to a school counsellor as well, just for a bit of additional support during school time? It might also be worth notifying school about your concerns, just so they're fully aware of your situation and can take steps to help you?
As I've previously said, the people who make hurtful comments usually do so out of ignorance, so maybe if these people were made aware of your condition (I hope I, myself, don't appear ignorant in using this word), they would see things a little differently and actually learn to think before speaking? Perhaps your school could explore bullies' targeting of individuals for their personal characteristics as part of Anti-bullying Week? - They could factor both mental and physical conditions into this, and use it as an opportunity to raise awareness that bullying in this respect is just as hurtful to the individual as it would be if they were bullied for their hair colour, for example.
As regards your skin, maybe there are herbal or natural remedies that you could try? It might also be worth looking online or visiting your local health shop. I've also heard that there are some good makeup tutorials on YouTube for people with acne, so you could check those out.
I'm not too sure how you would go about improving your posture, so it might be worth looking into that. Perhaps there are particular exercises you could do or maybe playing sport would be of some benefit? I think it best that you speak to your doctor, as maybe he/she could recommend some form of physiotherapy (if you consider this an option)?
Last, but not least, I think joining a club or society would help you to improve your confidence, simply by giving you a sense of independence and enabling you to meet new people. Volunteering is equally beneficial for improving self-worth - it helps you to realise and appreciate that you have so many wonderful qualities to share with other people and that you can have a positive impact on their lives.
Sorry for waffling, but I hope this is of some help.
You already have the makings of a wonderful human being - you just need to learn to blow your own trumpet a bit more
P.S. You are NOT chubby!
- Thread Starter
- 17-05-2015 09:32
Thank you so much for taking your time to help me. And can I firstly say that this brought me to tears (for good reasons!) no one has ever given me such good honest advice (it's always "oh well, you're really intelligent, its fine") and I appreciate this greatly. I sat down last night and wrote a list of things I wanted to achieve to make myself happier, and have created a 'personal project' for the summer- where I hope to achieve my goals. I am currently searching for a Saturday job in my town; but all of them are waitressing, and I have shaky hands! :3 Although, on the other hand, I have considered volunteering in a charity shop or the library and so I hope to do this when my exams finish next month. I did find that when I did my work experience, I felt a lot happier with myself- until this confidence disappeared shortly afterwards- so perhaps if I obtain a Saturday job the confidence will last.
Since I'm quite an independent person (as you could infer from me not wanting to speak to anyone about my problems) I have researched how to improve my condition/posture (and no, you did not offend me at all) and will begin to make a plan on how to sort it out today!! If nothing seems to be improving by halfway through the summer, then I will ask my parents about going to get physiotherapy.
The truth is, I hate walking to school. I'm completely fine with the fact it's 20 minutes away- it's just the fact that I feel so awkward and unconfident with myself. Occasionally, one friend who lives near me walks to school, so I feel so relieved when I don't have to walk alone. It's ridiculous! And then this morning, when my Mum tells me to go out for a ten minute walk to relieve exam stress, I started panicking in my room.But then I thought about your post and something that I read online once saying: "If you weren't afraid, what would you do". I marched down the stairs to my front door and started walking, truth be told I really enjoyed it! Yes, I was horrifically shy and awkward; but I did it and for myself, that is a big achievement (despite having to walk yo school everyday). It's insane how proud I was of myself
Thanks again, I can't even begin to articulate how useful this is. I hope I will be able to help others as much as you've helped me