The Student Room Group

Girls, do you not feel at all guilty about ignorning messages?

I noticed girls seem to ignore a lot more messages than men do, even from other girls on their Facebook and stuff, someone will write to them asking for their help with something or asking them how they are after not seeing them for a bit and they just don't reply to the message even though they continue to be active and just leave the message sitting there. Same thing with texts. Often you'll get girls that are 'too busy' or 'just forgot' to reply.

I mean I'm a guy and If a girl messages me, sometimes I don't reply straight away or I might be too busy or whatever but I always make sure I DO reply to them at some point because I feel like they will think I'm ignorant and rude, especially if I know the person. I don't get the female mindset of blatantly blanking people (male and female) and then expecting them to be okay with it when you see them in person.

Maybe because females get so much attention anyway they don't really care if they lose some friends because of rudeness and ignorance? I never forget to reply to someones message because I am not ignorant, but apparently girls are always 'too busy' even though they have their phone in their hand all day long?

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Original post by Anonymous
I noticed girls seem to ignore a lot more messages than men do, even from other girls on their Facebook and stuff, someone will write to them asking for their help with something or asking them how they are after not seeing them for a bit and they just don't reply to the message even though they continue to be active and just leave the message sitting there. Same thing with texts. Often you'll get girls that are 'too busy' or 'just forgot' to reply.

I mean I'm a guy and If a girl messages me, sometimes I don't reply straight away or I might be too busy or whatever but I always make sure I DO reply to them at some point because I feel like they will think I'm ignorant and rude, especially if I know the person. I don't get the female mindset of blatantly blanking people (male and female) and then expecting them to be okay with it when you see them in person.

Maybe because females get so much attention anyway they don't really care if they lose some friends because of rudeness and ignorance? I never forget to reply to someones message because I am not ignorant, but apparently girls are always 'too busy' even though they have their phone in their hand all day long?


I never ignore messages, even if I try to. I feel too bad to not reply, especially if a person needs help with something. If I can't help then I still reply.

Although if they're not of a pleasant nature I just let the person in question get on with it, I guess they need to vent...
I ignore messages if I don't want to talk to someone; feel a tad guilty but they'll get over it. I don't do this to my friends though and they're the people that really matter. Also, if someone asks for help I would try to help them depending on what it is - whether I know them or not :h:.
Reply 3
Original post by ILovePancakes
I ignore messages if I don't want to talk to someone; feel a tad guilty but they'll get over it.


What do you do if you see them in person and they ask about it?
Reply 4
I only ignore messages from (creepy) strangers on facebook and instagram .

It bugs me a lot when someone doesn't reply to me quickly as I do it 90% of the time and if I'm busy I just say so.
I ignore messages sometimes on facebook because if I don't know whether I'll be able to reply/want to reply to them, FB has done it's stalkery thing of showing the other person I've read it.

Which seems even more rude!

I feel bad about it, but at least if I've not physically read it, I guess it's not as bad.
Reply 6
So you'll ignore Facebook messages from people you don't know and have no intention of talking to. Why then have you accepted them as your friend on the site if you have no intentions of ever interacting with them?

If a random girl I don't know adds me on Facebook I'll accept her and if she then messages me I won't just ignore or act like I've never read the message because in that case I might as well have just not put her on my friends in the first place and save a lot of hassle?

What's the point of adding someone you don't know then call them a creepy stalker when they try to actually interact with you? lol. Help me understand ladies.
TBF, it is rather tedious having the same conversation again and again. It normally goes something like how are you, what are you up? and repeat.
Reply 8
Original post by OU Student
TBF, it is rather tedious having the same conversation again and again. It normally goes something like how are you, what are you up? and repeat.


Oh I definitely agree with that!! I hate those conversations also, but most of the time I still do reply at least a few times before the tediousness begins to shut down my brain completely and I say I'm going to bed or something.

I just don't get girls who add people they don't know on social networks then call them creepy or whatever if they message them and continually ignore them. What's the point of accepting their friend request in the first place then? Is it just narcissism to look like you know more people?
Original post by Anonymous


I just don't get girls who add people they don't know on social networks then call them creepy or whatever if they message them and continually ignore them. What's the point of accepting their friend request in the first place then? Is it just narcissism to look like you know more people?


I've never done this. I've had people add me who I've had no friends in common with. (I always check this, on the off chance that maybe I've talked to them and not realised it) I then go through their profile to check things like are we both a member of a group, etc. I've had people who want to add me who have nothing at all on their profile. That's where I get a bit suspicious - I would at least expect them to have family or people they in real life before adding a complete stranger. I don't add these people of course. If we've talked, etc. then yeah, I may then add them.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
So you'll ignore Facebook messages from people you don't know and have no intention of talking to. Why then have you accepted them as your friend on the site if you have no intentions of ever interacting with them?

If a random girl I don't know adds me on Facebook I'll accept her and if she then messages me I won't just ignore or act like I've never read the message because in that case I might as well have just not put her on my friends in the first place and save a lot of hassle?

What's the point of adding someone you don't know then call them a creepy stalker when they try to actually interact with you? lol. Help me understand ladies.

Ease up mate. It's one thing accepting a friend request from an acquaintance, it's another to be able to find time and inclination to message with them - particularly if you suspect they may be on a different agenda than you. Plus there is more to life than social media.
Original post by Anonymous
What do you do if you see them in person and they ask about it?


Well that'd be awkward wouldn't it.. I have just said sorry, I hate using my phone, which is the truth. I hate tedious conversation with people I barely know:

Them: Hi
Me: Hi
Them: How are you?
Me: I'm aight, how are you?
Them: Not too bad
*a couple of minutes pass*
Me: Ahh, that's great :smile:
Them: Lol

WHY DO PEOPLE MESSAGE ME WHEN LACKING CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS FFS
Original post by ILovePancakes
Well that'd be awkward wouldn't it.. I have just said sorry, I hate using my phone, which is the truth. I hate tedious conversation with people I barely know:

Them: Hi
Me: Hi
Them: How are you?
Me: I'm aight, how are you?
Them: Not too bad
*a couple of minutes pass*
Me: Ahh, that's great :smile:
Them: Lol

WHY DO PEOPLE MESSAGE ME WHEN LACKING CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS FFS


Exactly. If I send someone a message, it's because I have something to say to them.
Original post by Zarek
Ease up mate. It's one thing accepting a friend request from an acquaintance, it's another to be able to find time and inclination to message with them - particularly if you suspect they may be on a different agenda than you. Plus there is more to life than social media.


I'm not talking about an acquaintance, I'm talking about someone they don't know at all. I have had random girls I've never met add me on Facebook and if they are good looking or seem like someone I have something in common with I'll accept them. If after that they message me, I don't just ignore it because I don't accept people I wouldn't be willing to talk to in the first place.
If being ignored by a woman you don't know, actually makes you sad, you probably haven't lived.
Original post by ILovePancakes
Well that'd be awkward wouldn't it.. I have just said sorry, I hate using my phone, which is the truth. I hate tedious conversation with people I barely know:

Them: Hi
Me: Hi
Them: How are you?
Me: I'm aight, how are you?
Them: Not too bad
*a couple of minutes pass*
Me: Ahh, that's great :smile:
Them: Lol

WHY DO PEOPLE MESSAGE ME WHEN LACKING CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS FFS


I do agree with that, I hate it also, but how are you going to know what someone is like to talk to in the first place unless you get past the inital 'Hi' stage? lol.

Let's say you add me on Facebook and don't know me and have never met me but feel like you might want to talk to me what else are you going to say but 'hi' or 'hey' to start the conversation of? When I see the initial 'hey' flash up as a new message I wouldn't just ignore it because I am not that type of person, I think it's rude. Same thing applies to text messaging also.
Original post by yo radical one
If being ignored by a woman you don't know, actually makes you sad, you probably haven't lived.


It doesn't make me sad. That's not even the main point I'm trying to make. What I want to find out is that why do girls for the most part think nothing of ignoring messages from people, including other girls they are friends with and even relatives, as I've seen it loads of times, and then they can just say 'oh I was busy' even though they have their phone attached to them at all times. I'm sure there are plenty of men that do it too, just overwhelmingly it seems to be females that blank and ignore people.
Original post by Anonymous
It doesn't make me sad. That's not even the main point I'm trying to make. What I want to find out is that why do girls for the most part think nothing of ignoring messages from people, including other girls they are friends with and even relatives, as I've seen it loads of times, and then they can just say 'oh I was busy' even though they have their phone attached to them at all times. I'm sure there are plenty of men that do it too, just overwhelmingly it seems to be females that blank and ignore people.


Why do you care?


Imagine you are a girl, some guy you have never spoken with, you have no shared experiences with, says 'hi', it's obvious he is trying to have sex with you and he probably doesn't even have any game.
Original post by yo radical one
Why do you care?


Imagine you are a girl, some guy you have never spoken with, you have no shared experiences with, says 'hi', it's obvious he is trying to have sex with you and he probably doesn't even have any game.


Because it's bad manners, and if this is the type of attitude women are installing into their children that it's okay to act like people don't exist and ignore them then I fear for the future. In an age of SOCIAL media, why be so anti-social?

Really? Just because you say hi to someone of the opposite sex it means you want to have sex with them? I've had women who are married and not even attractive text me 'hey' plenty of times just out of the blue and I didn't consider sleeping with them. Again, why add someone you don't know to your Facebook or give your number out to someone to just met if you never intend to communicate with them?

Do you give your number out to people you have no intention of talking to?
Original post by Steliata
I never ignore messages, even if I try to. I feel too bad to not reply, especially if a person needs help with something. If I can't help then I still reply.

Although if they're not of a pleasant nature I just let the person in question get on with it, I guess they need to vent...


i answer my messages 99% of the time. i only ignore people who have seriously annoyed me coz i don't want to talk to them.

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