The Student Room Group
Reply 1
You're not being used, it's just not fair on you! It's a tricky situation because of course, you can't say "I don't want to have to pay all this money to see you", but you can't keep paying all this money into seeing them.

A good idea here is to set a goal. As in, don't just keep taking the flights to see them. Work out a goal with your partner, i.e. you moving in together/living in a country that suits both of you
You're not being used, I was in this situation and it's not being used but the expectation of you paying for everything is unfair.

I had to pay for flights to LA yet she didn't really fly to the UK much, I ended it in the end, the only plus was the sex which was amazing.
Reply 3
You're not being used, it's just not fair on you! It's a tricky situation because of course, you can't say "I don't want to have to pay all this money to see you", but you can't keep paying all this money into seeing them.

A good idea here is to set a goal. As in, don't just keep taking the flights to see them. Work out a goal with your partner, i.e. you moving in together/living in a country that suits both of you


Why is it not being used? Also is it really unfair if he can't afford to pay but I can? It would be unfair to expect him to pay in a way
He's not forcing you to, so quit moaning. Don't fly if money matters that much to you, problem solved.
Long distance relationships are tricky, no doubt about it. They create or raise all sorts of issues which need to be worked through.

Things like this are very individual and one can't make generalisations about is right or wrong.

If Person A has lots of money, but can't travel, but Person B has little money and much more free time, then it would make sense for Person A to pay for Person B's travel tickets.

But if both people have little money, then they should take it in turns to visit each other or share the cost of each trip.

What you need to do is talk to your partner and find a way that you both agree on - discuss it until you find a solution.
Reply 6
Original post by SuckMeBeautiful
He's not forcing you to, so quit moaning. Don't fly if money matters that much to you, problem solved.


I'm not moaning, I'm just wondering whether I would be showing a lack of self respect if I paid for all the travelling
Reply 7
Quite clearly, you're one of those people who makes a thread and then argues their point with all the people that try and help, so.

Like others have said, share the cost. Or break it up. Or any other manner of things.
I don't think you're being used unless the other person is forcing you to pay for the tickets etc. If you are offering to, then it is just simply unfair on your part.
i would definately get into LDR's if the girl paid for all my flights and accom
well evidently if you want to see her desperately then pay for the tickets... i'm sure that she should agree to split the cost at least anyway..

In a way it seems like you're being used.