Am I going mad?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
So I've been dating this guy for 2 years and 8 month. I love him to bits and in most ways he is perfect and just generally a very sweet guy.
Now this guy is very into vintage cars, which I found really cool, and he is the sort of car geek that likes buying beat up cars and fixing them. Now there is a massive vintage car loving forum and he has a lot of friends through it.
And I used to go to several of them with him because they are often near my house, and we don't see each other very often because he is an hour and a half away and we are both at Uni with Uni budgets. And I tried really hard to get into the world of the vintage car lover, and I am a lot less ignorant than I was.
My issue comes with the fact that his car friends are really unfriendly and often rude and sexist. Which I tried hard to deal with for like a year and a half, but I've now given up, because it just more often than not ends with me crying in the bathroom somewhere, and it makes me miserable.
But this also means I spend less time with him, because he is often there.
Should I ignore my feelings and just go with him to these things, where I feel like the bimbo eye candy?
Or should I not go, not see him, and feel jealous when he is spending more time with them than he is with me?
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jlsmp
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#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
This is what a car looks like:

:kart:
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ThatIzziGirl
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#3
Report 5 years ago
#3
Aw, this seems really unhealthy and upsetting. If you feel uncomfortable, that is an absolutely valid feeling and you have the right not to put yourself in that sort of situation. Therefore, you don't need to feel any obligation to go somewhere that will make you feel out-of-place, which includes this car place. If I were you, I would talk to the boyfriend and tell him how I was feeling. If he truly loves you then he will listen to what you are saying and work out a way in which he can see you more in an environment that you do feel happy in. If your man is spending more time being with cars than being with you, then he is treating you like second best and you don't need to stand for it. I really hope that that helps a little. Remember to stay safe and be kind to yourself. If you want to talk anymore about this, then I'm always here!
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 5 years ago
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talk to him about it. next time he asks if your coming to one say; no can we meet up another time because... etc etc.
If you don't tell him about it he wont know then, well after a nearly 3 year relationship i'd be very surprised if he chose the cars over you thats just not gonna happen so dont worry about it
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