Paedo guys...

Hi guys,

MY problem is this; it seems (to me, anyway) that for most of my life I've had to put up with pervy guys harrassing me. When I was 13 up to the age of 17 it was a guy who lived on a road I did a paper round for. I didn't even deliver his papers - but he would come out almost every morning, sometimes trying to give me bars of chocolate and/or money. It got so bad I would hide until he left for work before I would go into the road. This guy was in his mid-forties.
When I started 6th form it was one of my teachers (also in his mid-forties). He would constantly stand so close to me he was touching me, and would 'help' me more than the rest of my class.
I'm at uni now, and I've acquired another one. He's 48, on my course, and constantly makes sexual remarks. I'm considering dropping out of uni at the end of this year because I can't stand the thought of having to spend another four years with him. My lecturer also does the same, although more jokingly. I put it down to the fact that I am the only female in a class of 50+.

Basically, my question is this: Why does it happen to me? I am average-looking and of average weight (I wouldn't say I was 'hot' at all) and I don't think that I do anything to lead them on. Especially as it's been happening since I was 13! Maybe it's because I am very quiet and shy, and too polite to tell them to f*** off?? Does this happen to anyone else?

Thanks for reading. I suppose it was a bit of a rant really, never told anyone else about these guys, just needed to get it off my chest really!! x

Reply 1

Fleece

If it's bothering you so much stop being a doormat and tell them where to go? No one is 'too polite' to stop themselves feeling harrassed. Just do it.

Reply 2

Harv616

Well, do you dress like a slut? Mini skirts, low cut tops etc...

Reply 3

SFC_FOREVER!

Sorry but it kinda sounds like you enjoy the attention more then you are letting on. Just tell them to **** right off.

Reply 4

James

francesca88

[I'm] too polite to tell them to f*** off

If you feel intimidated by anyone, in any way, politely let them know. Just say firmly, "Would you mind not coming so close?", or "Why are you staring at me like that?". If they continue to harass you, step up your response. Eventually let them know that you intend to contact the Police if they continue. And if need be, do have a word with the Police. Harassment is illegal.

I hope your situation improves :smile:

Reply 5

bubu

BhArJ

Well, do you dress like a slut? Mini skirts, low cut tops etc...

That gives men the rights to harass some one?

nower days you dont have to be wearing mini skirts low cut tops to be harassed

Reply 6

leona

Perhaps if you give off the 'aura' of being shy/quiet, even unintentionally, these guys may pick up on that and home in on you, knowing that you are less likely to tell them where to go?

Reply 7

francesca88

leona

Perhaps if you give off the 'aura' of being shy/quiet, even unintentionally, these guys may pick up on that and home in on you, knowing that you are less likely to tell them where to go?

That's what I was thinking. Thanks for suggesting something sensible.

Reply 8

la fille danse

You're an adult, aren't you? So how is another adult a paedophile for being attracted to you?

Reply 9

Sephiroth

You're over 16 now so they're not really paedos. It is a bit sick when people 2-3 times your age are being like that however, I've had it before too. You have to tell them to stop, it's the only way. Don't throw your future away by dropping out of uni over it. The same happens at work too. You can't lock yourself in your room forever to avoid it.

Reply 10

lasttoiletroll

Yeh the key words are shy/quiet/vulnerable, changing the way you come across will help. Body language such as the way you hold yourself and the look on your face can give off vibes of vulnerability and perhaps make you seem younger than you are, thus attracting horrible pervy men - not paedophiles anymore obviosuly because of your age, but still, not nice.

Reply 11

Harv616

bubu

That gives men the rights to harass some one?

nower days you dont have to be wearing mini skirts low cut tops to be harassed

I'm not saying it gives men the right to harass someone, I'm just saying if she does dress like that maybe she should try wearing less reviling clothes? Obviously girls who wear next to nothing are going to get more attention from guys. It was just a idea :rolleyes:

Reply 12

inesse

I used to also have your problem, started when i was 12. Simarly to yourself i was also very shy and couldn't look people in the face. After about the 6th pervert/stalker/freak (and useless visits to the police station) I changed...when men tried to approach me I would give them a VERY cold look (back the **** look), ignore them completely or if they really didn't understand TELL them to 'back the **** off'.

When I stopped giving off 'doormat vibes' people stopped treating me like one. I suggest you get some confidence or this will quite frankly continue. Even if you don't feel confident FAKE IT. Fake it until you are confident!

Good luck

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