How come some people can't find relationships and others always have a partner?

Anon or delete please, I find this kind of embarrassing.

Okay so I am starting to wonder if there are two types of people...

1) are the forever alones. They can go to every bar, cafe and activity in town and never get a date. Perhaps they resort to online dating but they get never hear again from the girl/guy again after the first few dates when everything seemed just fine. Perhaps they have never even had a partner, or they are even a virgin and kiss-less. They may invoke surprised reactions when they announce that they have always been single because they are allegedly good looking with great personalities but it seems no one has ever liked them quite enough.

2) are the never single for more that two minutes. And even if they do spend a long period single they have many love interests/offers. They simply walk into a bar and find a partner just like that. They may not have breaks between partners as they sometimes meet the next one during a relationship and effortlessly glide into the next relationship. They might be stunningly attractive or they might be very plain but they all have one thing in common a string of people chasing them.

Okay perhaps it's not this black and white but can someone please help me know what exactly it is that separates these two types of people and how I can go from being in category 1 to category 2? I know this is a lame question but please help me?

And please don't say it's just looks. This doesn't just apply to me but for example I have a very pretty cousin at a top law school who is very friendly the sweetest girl but no men seem to interested in her. I have a physically unattractive overweight cousin who always bullied us, has no qualifications or interests but always has boyfriends. My best friend is 21 and has never had a boyfriend (I'm 24 in the same position) and is very pretty long blond hair, green eyes and a figure and dress sense to die for and she goes out of her way to help people but some of my other friends are way less attractive and are never without boyfriends and suitors. I need to know this to help my friends out too!

Reply 1

EmEternal2

I've always been in group one (If we're going to categorize it like that)
My friends and I were having a conversation about this the other day, and they suggested that it's more to do with the 'aura' surrounding a person. Different people are clearly attracted to different things. Personally, I was always told that if I want to 'go from group 1 to group 2' it was more of a case of gaining confidence in myself and what I do, more than anything else. But everyone is different. Sometimes people just don't get to category two as they just haven't come across someone who appreciates them for the qualities they carry.
I don't know, just bringing in a few personal experiences here. It's different for everyone I suppose :smile:

Reply 2

william walker

I am the group 3. I don't care about relationships and have never really cared at any point.

So if you, your friend or cousin want a relationship with me I would be fine with it. I will give it a :shot:

Genetics

I don't fit into any of those categories. I've been single for most of my adult life. I am approached by guys every so often, I go on dates and so on (more than 1 or 2) and alot of the time I find the person isn't for me. I like my own company and I do want to settle down and when I say settle I do not mean putting up with another human being for the sake of it. The person has the fit the bill.

I'm not being funny but some people are happy settling since they hate the idea of being alone. Some people probably believe they can't do better than the person right unfront of them. Not every couple is as happy as they may appear to be. Don't let the 101 perfect couple posts people share on instagram fool you. Behind closed doors you never know what is really going down.

Reply 5

Rakas21

I transitioned from group 1 to group 2.

Until i was just about 18 i never had success with women at all, from 17-21 i had no problems at all.

..

OP, if my experience is anything to go by then i made one clear change.. i went for it. Instead of being the nice guy who waited until the end of a date to kiss a girl, i lost my virginity in a field 25 minutes after meeting a girl.

A lesson for life - If you truly desire somebody/something, then don't ever doubt yourself or lack the resolve to take what you want.

How come some people can't find relationships and others always have a partner?

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