How to get over bad comments...?
This might seem bizarre and petty, but here goes.
All my life I have been treated poorly and spoken to in a bad way, even at university. I am trying to move on with my life but I seem to be struggling with getting over horrible comments towards me. I think I find it so hard because in those situations I've never been able to answer back and I feel guilty, plus I felt (and still feel) hurt.
What do I do? I still feel hurt by all the horrible stuff people have said to me and it still bothers me. I feel as though I am back in those situations even though I'm not. I cut people out when they speak to me in a bad way yet I can't get over the horrible comments, and sometimes they get to me.
I guess I need a sense of closure...?
All my life I have been treated poorly and spoken to in a bad way, even at university. I am trying to move on with my life but I seem to be struggling with getting over horrible comments towards me. I think I find it so hard because in those situations I've never been able to answer back and I feel guilty, plus I felt (and still feel) hurt.
What do I do? I still feel hurt by all the horrible stuff people have said to me and it still bothers me. I feel as though I am back in those situations even though I'm not. I cut people out when they speak to me in a bad way yet I can't get over the horrible comments, and sometimes they get to me.
I guess I need a sense of closure...?
Plus...it's too late for me to confront the people who have said horrible things to me/about me... so there is nothing I can do.
Hey!
Sorry to hear of everything you've been through. I've just finished a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In some of the sessions, we focused on writing letters to one particular person who had been abusive towards me, where I wrote everything I have ever wanted to say to that person but have always been too chicken to, or never had the chance to say. I'd spend the week leading up to therapy planning and writing the letter, and then my therapist encouraged me to bring two copies to the session and to read it aloud to her. That way even though I wasn't getting to say it to the person it was intended to be said to, it was being said to someone.
It provided a huge amount of relief and closure to me personally, though things have been a bit rocky since then (but then there are always gonna be ups and downs in life). I wonder whether doing something similar might help you at all? Just a thought
Sorry to hear of everything you've been through. I've just finished a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In some of the sessions, we focused on writing letters to one particular person who had been abusive towards me, where I wrote everything I have ever wanted to say to that person but have always been too chicken to, or never had the chance to say. I'd spend the week leading up to therapy planning and writing the letter, and then my therapist encouraged me to bring two copies to the session and to read it aloud to her. That way even though I wasn't getting to say it to the person it was intended to be said to, it was being said to someone.
It provided a huge amount of relief and closure to me personally, though things have been a bit rocky since then (but then there are always gonna be ups and downs in life). I wonder whether doing something similar might help you at all? Just a thought
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Hey!
Sorry to hear of everything you've been through. I've just finished a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In some of the sessions, we focused on writing letters to one particular person who had been abusive towards me, where I wrote everything I have ever wanted to say to that person but have always been too chicken to, or never had the chance to say. I'd spend the week leading up to therapy planning and writing the letter, and then my therapist encouraged me to bring two copies to the session and to read it aloud to her. That way even though I wasn't getting to say it to the person it was intended to be said to, it was being said to someone.
It provided a huge amount of relief and closure to me personally, though things have been a bit rocky since then (but then there are always gonna be ups and downs in life). I wonder whether doing something similar might help you at all? Just a thought
Sorry to hear of everything you've been through. I've just finished a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In some of the sessions, we focused on writing letters to one particular person who had been abusive towards me, where I wrote everything I have ever wanted to say to that person but have always been too chicken to, or never had the chance to say. I'd spend the week leading up to therapy planning and writing the letter, and then my therapist encouraged me to bring two copies to the session and to read it aloud to her. That way even though I wasn't getting to say it to the person it was intended to be said to, it was being said to someone.
It provided a huge amount of relief and closure to me personally, though things have been a bit rocky since then (but then there are always gonna be ups and downs in life). I wonder whether doing something similar might help you at all? Just a thought
Wow!
I had not thought about that at all! That sounds amazing!
I think I'd end up writing loads of letters because I have been wronged by so many people in my life who spoke to me in a bad way!!
Maybe it would help to write a generic letter? What do you think?
Quote thing doesn't seem to wanna work 
You could write one massive generic letter, or you could write tons of letters (I wrote four different letters all addressed to the same person. It took so long I didn't actually get around to writing letters to anyone else
) - whatever you think might be most helpful for you. Emotions are generally better out than in, so as long as you are fully expressing yourself (i.e. uncensored), that's the main thing.
I had heard about letter writing before and never followed it up because I thought it sounded naff and couldn't see how it would help. But honestly, I can't tell you how good I felt after writing the first letter! It made me realise that I'd been carrying so many emotions around and that they'd been so much at the forefront, that I hadn't really been myself or particularly lucid for about 4.5 years
It was good to get it out.
Really hope this helps you
I don't think writing tons of letters is a bad thing at all 
You could write one massive generic letter, or you could write tons of letters (I wrote four different letters all addressed to the same person. It took so long I didn't actually get around to writing letters to anyone else
) - whatever you think might be most helpful for you. Emotions are generally better out than in, so as long as you are fully expressing yourself (i.e. uncensored), that's the main thing.I had heard about letter writing before and never followed it up because I thought it sounded naff and couldn't see how it would help. But honestly, I can't tell you how good I felt after writing the first letter! It made me realise that I'd been carrying so many emotions around and that they'd been so much at the forefront, that I hadn't really been myself or particularly lucid for about 4.5 years
It was good to get it out. Really hope this helps you
I don't think writing tons of letters is a bad thing at all Quick Reply
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