I worry about everything

Hi,

I decided to post because i've been thinking (worrying, really) about how, well, how much I worry. I worry about how much I worry. Gah.

I mean, I really do worry about everything, and I've started to realise that it isn't normal. I worry about going to the post office to ask for a form, I worry about making a dentist appointment, I worry about getting the bus because I have to tell the bus driver to stop at a certain point. And when I say worry, I mean, I get anxious, with a racing heart and sweaty palms and everything.

I also worry when I see people I know in the street, I don't mean people I know really well, but like people who I sort of know, but not really, or maybe people from primary school that I haven't talked to in ages. I worry that if I say hello to them, they won't say hello back, and so I don't say hello to anyone on my own initiative. Over the past year I've been worrying about how I come across to people, because I'm so worried to say hello, and I'm convinced that a lot of people in my town think I'm aloof and cold. I just don't know what to say. It's made worse by the fact that I have an 11 year old sister (I'm 18) who is really extrovert and who would talk to a brick wall if she could, and so when for example, friends of the family or my brothers' friends come round to the house, I rarely even say hello to them because I feel really awkward or something. It's hard to explain.

The thing is, I never tell people all the things I worry about. My friends already think I worry too much, and that's about big things like my future etc.

Is there anyone else who worries as much as me? Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can stop it? or even reduce how much I worry?

A worried girl.

Reply 1

Luser

I know how you feel. I worry about speaking in certain situations all the time - especially if my name comes up. And my worrying is ruining my one-year-and-still-going relationship - I guess you'd call it "jealousy" or being "overprotective".

Reply 2

Butterfly

1

I am so sorry to hear this; I really think you should go to your doctor about this because it's not going to go away. They can help you out with what sounds like a type of anxiety disorder. I worry about some of the things you worry about, but not to that extent. All the best x

Reply 3

IzzyWizzy

10

I thought I was a worrier but that sounds really bad. You can get anti-anxiety pills and things if you go to the doctor.

Reply 4

bunthulhu

14

My mom has exactly this; a social phobia. She is on medication for it I believe, to help the anxiety. I know how hard it is. Ask your GP to refer to you to someone you can talk to about it :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Hi,

I decided to post because i've been thinking (worrying, really) about how, well, how much I worry. I worry about how much I worry. Gah.

I mean, I really do worry about everything, and I've started to realise that it isn't normal. I worry about going to the post office to ask for a form, I worry about making a dentist appointment, I worry about getting the bus because I have to tell the bus driver to stop at a certain point. And when I say worry, I mean, I get anxious, with a racing heart and sweaty palms and everything.

I also worry when I see people I know in the street, I don't mean people I know really well, but like people who I sort of know, but not really, or maybe people from primary school that I haven't talked to in ages. I worry that if I say hello to them, they won't say hello back, and so I don't say hello to anyone on my own initiative. Over the past year I've been worrying about how I come across to people, because I'm so worried to say hello, and I'm convinced that a lot of people in my town think I'm aloof and cold. I just don't know what to say. It's made worse by the fact that I have an 11 year old sister (I'm 18) who is really extrovert and who would talk to a brick wall if she could, and so when for example, friends of the family or my brothers' friends come round to the house, I rarely even say hello to them because I feel really awkward or something. It's hard to explain.

The thing is, I never tell people all the things I worry about. My friends already think I worry too much, and that's about big things like my future etc.

Is there anyone else who worries as much as me? Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can stop it? or even reduce how much I worry?

A worried girl.

Are you me? :eek:

I don't know what to do about it, if I did I'd not feel this way. But I can offer a big hug to the OP, because you know you're not stand-offish or horrible, and wish everyone could see that. It's like.. I know that if I could make people see what I'm like then they'd like me more, it's just that this stupid fear gets in the way and makes people a bit 'hmm'.
Or at least thats the way it seems. All my friend think I'm paranoid, too.
There's nothing I can really say or do, but thanks for posting & letting me know I'm not the only one :p:

Big hugs

chin up x

Reply 6

NickiM

14

I can emphathise - I worry about the most stupidest things all the time :frown:

Sorry, can't offer any advice, but have some hugs :hugs:

Reply 7

hannah_dru

2

I worry about everything too. Mostly about college work, (if I'm doing enough, if it's any good, and if I'm achieving my potential), if things will go wrong (even stupid things like if I'll miss my bus. A lot of things come up here- I also hate phoning people.) and how I look, or appear to people. I think it's part of my nature, I think too much and it's pretty scary!

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Hey i know how you feel cos I worry a hell of a lot too, I just don't always admit it and let it hold me back from doing things that mean a lot to me. I look at what I stand to gain from a situation if I stop worrying about it and do it and balance it up with what I stand to lose if I don't. If what I stand to gain is important I pretend I don't care about what 'might' or 'could' happen cos most of the time the list would be too long. There are a lot of people who feel the same but many don't admit it. Think of some things that make you feel good everytime you begin to feel worried or anxious about something and remain focused on them. Tell yourself that people who don't say hello back to you aren't worth having a conversation with anyway. Rate youself more highly cos you're as entitled to be on this earth as much they are and their opinions couldn't mean less if you wanted them too - always remember that! You'll find that your confidence and social ease will grow as you get older and mix with more varied people and face more life experiences because you gradually learn how to cope in a variety of situations.

About people thinking you're aloof and cold. If you meet nice, considerate people then they will make the effort to get to know you anyway. Don't you bother with those who don't bother! This is my strategy and thoughts on this problem and its not doing me any harm. I do have periods where I get really anxious and worried about stuff but if you force yourself to face your worries they will stop becoming worries. Oh, and give yoga a go as well!

Hope this helps and I really do empathize with your situation
:smile:

;console;

Reply 9

Spent

I know this is easy for me to say, but the only way it'll change is if you break barriers and move out of your comfort zone. I was always terrible for over-analysing and am relieved not to be in that state anymore. You'll figure out that life is so much better when you don't worry about what people think of you 24/7 :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #4

OP, I relate to absolutely everything you have written...worrying about meeting people in the street, worrying about going to the post office, worrying about how other people think of you...they're the exact things that worry me constantly.

It does sound like social anxiety to me. Can you pinpoint anything that could have caused this? Have you ever been made to feel bad in a social setting? It really is worth going to see your doctor. I saw my doctor and didn't go into great detail about my anxiety over such trivial things but I did say that I did have anxiety as well as depression and I've been put on to anti-depressants which seem to have really helped me think more positively and be less nervy in social settings. If you don't have problems with depression then I don't think you would be put on to that medication, but there are anti-anxiety drugs you can take, plus your doctor can refer you to someone who specialises in stuff like this and they can work through your issues with you.

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

By the way, check this out:

http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html

This is a website that really helped me understand what was wrong.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

OP, I relate to absolutely everything you have written...worrying about meeting people in the street, worrying about going to the post office, worrying about how other people think of you...they're the exact things that worry me constantly.

It does sound like social anxiety to me. Can you pinpoint anything that could have caused this? Have you ever been made to feel bad in a social setting? It really is worth going to see your doctor. I saw my doctor and didn't go into great detail about my anxiety over such trivial things but I did say that I did have anxiety as well as depression and I've been put on to anti-depressants which seem to have really helped me think more positively and be less nervy in social settings. If you don't have problems with depression then I don't think you would be put on to that medication, but there are anti-anxiety drugs you can take, plus your doctor can refer you to someone who specialises in stuff like this and they can work through your issues with you.

I don't know if there is a 'cause' so to speak. But I think back to when I was younger and remember that I was really talkative and quite outspoken, like my younger sister is now. I do have quite a lot of family problems, but that doesn't explain why I grew up to be this over-thinking, anxious person.

Okay, I realise that the last sentence sounds ridiculous. My family problems probably have caused this. It just sounds so cliché. Eugh.

The thing is, I've just been hoping recently that life isn't supposed to be this difficult. My best friend is the most laid-back person you could ever meet, she would only worry (just a little) if her hair spontaneously combusted, but not a second before that. While I don't want to be like that, I do want to be more like her, you know, be able to 'go with the flow' *cringes* when I'm out and stuff, without thinking ahead.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Spent

I know this is easy for me to say, but the only way it'll change is if you break barriers and move out of your comfort zone. I was always terrible for over-analysing and am relieved not to be in that state anymore. You'll figure out that life is so much better when you don't worry about what people think of you 24/7 :smile:

Sorry for the double-post, first of all.

I do do a lot of things that a so-called 'socially anxious' person would be terrified of. I do force myself to do a lot of things, like I've taken part in two foreign exchanges where I had to be by myself with Spanish-speaking families for days at a time. Which I really worried about beforehand. And more recently, I travelled to a university interview in England (from NI) by myself, getting planes and trains and taxis worried the hell out of me, but I knew I ahd to do it. i wouldn't have forgiven myself if I had asked my dad to go with me.

So, I am throwing myself out of my comfort zone, but its the everyday little things that, no matter how much I do them, still make me anxious.

I really have to go and study for an exam tomorrow. (Now that's something I know I'm not alone in worrying about. :p:

)

Thanks

Reply 14

yossarianlives

7

I am exactly the same.

However I worry to much and am too nervous to go to the doctors. I worry that I'm saying the wrong pump number at the petrol station even though I've read it 4893759 times in my head.

It makes me socially awkward. People just assume I'm weird, alas.

Reply 15

Anonymous #5

OP -- I am exactly the same. I worry about things so much that I constantly put tasks off. In classes I am desperate to make contributions, but my pulse races so much and my hands shake, that I can't bring myself to. Walking down the street, I worry that someone I recognise won't recognise me, so I don't say hello. Being a guy, I feel really embarrassed about it because, in my experience, people often seem to assume that guys don't have these problems -- that they are all really outgoing and "matey". Until reading this thread, I wasn't aware that there was such a thing as anti-anxiety pills, so I shall look into them..... Although having said that, I probably will end up putting that off too. :frown:

Reply 16

poltroon

You can stop worrying by facing your fears. Any anxiety related problem usually stems from underlying negative beliefs. Next time you worry about seeing someone you know in the street, try and pick out the thoughts which are causing you to worry the most. Maybe the most worrying thought is 'I won't know what to say'. Then, try and think of what could be the worst thing that could happen if that was true. After that, try and come up with some reasons why that would not happen. Perhaps you have spoken to them before and not had any problem with doing so. Finally assess the situation again, having gone through the above steps, and consider how much anxiety it is causing you now. The point of such an exercise is to try and get you to challange your automatic negative thoughts which are clouding your judgment. It can help, and actually it is highly recommended, that you write the process down. After several bouts of introspection you might find that you are consistently underestimating your own social ability, or your worth in the eyes of others. Whatever it is that you are fundamentally unhappy about, you can learn to change it. Good luck!

Reply 17

Skyrunner

@OP; I used to be, and in fact still am just like you; I was afraid to answer the doorbell or the phone, I never used to ask questions in shops and in college I rarely ever asked questions, let alone make a point in a discussion because I was afraid, for no real reason, my parents have always assumed I am just shy, and I doubt they or in fact many other people understand exactly how I feel.

What did help me hugely, was going to Uni. Before I left I never used to be able ot make appointments, and eventrivial meeting such as with my tutor used to cause me worry and make me very nervous (sweating, racing heart and shaking), I never used to make comments in lessons because I was too scared to put my hand up. Getting essentially dumped in a strange place with no one I knew was the single most scary event of my life, in fact my parents didn't think I'd last two weeks, and neither did I.

I'll admit certain events through my life assist in the way I think I am today, I will be the first to admit I am very shy, I am the type of person who sits in a corner on his own or with one or two friends at a party simply because the fear of meeting new people is too great, some may say this is stupid,

I started to learn that i could talk to strangers, admittedly it's not something I enjoy I still get very nervous, my hands shake and i am so worried about saying the right thing at the right time i end up nodding just saying yes or no and so on. I am still incredibly indecisive and I constantly worry about how I come across to people or should i have said this or done that, but I have started to learn that what ever happens it will happen and if I worry about ti it will probably be worse! That helped me a little but t still get worried about meetings with poeple I am aquitened with such as my tutor, but I have learnt to answer the door so things have improved!

Personally I don't think you are weird, being introvert and a 'worrier' is nothing to be overly worried about, would will I hope find that you have no choice but to talk to strangers and eventually you will overcome your fear, or at least not let it overcome you. You have realised this is having an impact on your life which is the first step, things will progress and get better, you wil have no choice other than to encounter strangers be it in social, employment or academic situations but your confidence will grow, just don't let your fears ruin your life.

As for the future, it is something that worries most people, some more than others when I was 18 (God that makes me sound old) I was looking at some very big changes, now I am 20 I am looking at some even bigger changes and they do still wory me I can tell you!

Anyway that was probably complete drivel and made no sense what=so-ever but maybe you'll realise your aren't the only person who feels like this!

Reply 18

Richy_Boi

12

Been here to, here are my tips:

- Stop caring what people think.
- Locate your insecurities. Beat them.
- Move away from home if you can. I have no doubt you have a worrier in the family. It is contagious believe me.
- Occupy yourself. Have something to look forward too.
- Don't sleep in.

You're insecure and anxious. By believing that you are the latter will only make it worse.

Try some of the above. The sleeping in one is vital. You've got excess energy. Believe me.

Reply 19

RaceMe.

Hello! Just a quick one because its late - but, go to the doctors.
I used to have this severely a few years ago and it got alot worse, i really suggest you see a doctor. At the time i was alot younger so i went to see a psychologist and they did me the world of good.
Its not about curing it - its about dealing with it so it doesnt effect your life.
Im sorry i cant say much more...i need sleep!
I hope things get better for you, and if you need anymore help just send me a message.
xx

I worry about everything

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