worried I'm not in love

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I'm 18 and have been dating a guy for a couple of months now. Hes kind and sweet and we have loads in common. I always feel happy and safe around him and when he drives home alone at night I worry until I hear he is safe. If he wasnt in my life anymore I'd really miss him. But I see my other friends and they all seem more in oove with their boyfriends than I am. They cant go a day without seeing them and are all over them in public. And I dont get like that. Also I dont get jealous if he hugs or chats to other girls because I trust himand even if he was to lesve me although Id be sad at least hed be happy. Also the other daya guy friend was sad so I went for coffee with him and gave him a hug a few times becaus ehe needed someone around. And I dont feel at all guilty for this. So does this all mean Im not in love?
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kandykissesxox
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(Original post by Anonymous;[url="tel:56317801")
56317801[/url]]I'm 18 and have been dating a guy for a couple of months now. Hes kind and sweet and we have loads in common. I always feel happy and safe around him and when he drives home alone at night I worry until I hear he is safe. If he wasnt in my life anymore I'd really miss him. But I see my other friends and they all seem more in oove with their boyfriends than I am. They cant go a day without seeing them and are all over them in public. And I dont get like that. Also I dont get jealous if he hugs or chats to other girls because I trust himand even if he was to lesve me although Id be sad at least hed be happy. Also the other daya guy friend was sad so I went for coffee with him and gave him a hug a few times becaus ehe needed someone around. And I dont feel at all guilty for this. So does this all mean Im not in love?
Hey, just because your relationship with your boyfriend is conservative does not mean you don't love him like your other friends love their guy. Love doesn't have to be displayed in public it can be a simple thing as jealousy which does show you care/love him. hugging another guy just shows you are a concerned friend but it's not where I suppose 'your heart lies'.
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LiquidGold
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Before i read this i was going to say if you question whether you're in love then you're probably not. However in this case it actually seems like you are and you just need to stop comparing your relationship with other peoples; all relationships are different.


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hopeforthebest1
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You sound like you have a perfectly healthy relationship to me! Good for you! Love takes many forms. Just because you're not wanting to show public displays of affection and aren't all about talking about how much you loooove your boyfriend doesn't mean you don't. Sometime those girls who are all lovely dovey and talking about how great their bfs are are actually just covering insecurities. Have you told him you love him? What does your heart say? You don't have to be all gushy to be in love. If the relationship works for both of you then that is all that matters. Good for you for trusting that he can hug or chat with a girl and still trust him and that he'll trust you if you go for coffee with a guy friend in need. Trust takes a special kind of love and it is much healthier and more beautiful than jealousy.
You can't get an answer here as to whether or not you're in love only you know what your heart tells you but it sounds like you have a strong, healthy relationship and that is certainly a great foundation for true love!
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Anonymous #2
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Jealousy, clinginess, and PDAs don't = love!

Getting jealous whenever he spoke to another girl would be a sign of an incredibly unhealthy relationship, that's not something to aspire to at all. Similarly, if you 'can't go a day' without seeing the other person, that's not healthy either, that's just clingy and needy.

If you've only been going out a few months, I wouldn't necessarily expect love to factor into it just yet, just go with the flow and enjoy being with him.
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kandykissesxox
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(Original post by Anonymous;[url="tel:56318187")
56318187[/url]]Jealousy, clinginess, and PDAs don't = love!

Getting jealous whenever he spoke to another girl would be a sign of an incredibly unhealthy relationship, that's not something to aspire to at all. Similarly, if you 'can't go a day' without seeing the other person, that's not healthy either, that's just clingy and needy.

If you've only been going out a few months, I wouldn't necessarily expect love to factor into it just yet, just go with the flow and enjoy being with him.
Jealousy does show love because you can't bear the thought of someone else being with that person
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kandykissesxox)
Jealousy does show love because you can't bear the thought of someone else being with that person
Ive never been one for jealousy. If he wants to hug a friend or call a friend for a chat then thats fine. Obviously Id draw the line at him telling his friends he loves the (in a serious way) and kissing them. But hugs seem fine to me.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by kandykissesxox)
Jealousy does show love because you can't bear the thought of someone else being with that person
That's not true at all. Jealousy is not a sign of love, it's a sign of possessiveness and those are not the same thing. If you 'can't bear the thought of someone else being with that person' then you have issues you need to work through, that's not healthy for them or for you.
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kandykissesxox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's not true at all. Jealousy is not a sign of love, it's a sign of possessiveness and those are not the same thing. If you 'can't bear the thought of someone else being with that person' then you have issues you need to work through, that's not healthy for them or for you.
not at all, If you did not show any sign of jealousy then you never really cared/loved the person enough
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Musie Suzie
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OP, you shouldn't compare your relationship to others' because you don't know what goes on behind closes doors. E.g being all over each other in public may be over compensating for things not going well when they're alone.

Your relationship sounds perfectly healthy to me.

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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by kandykissesxox)
not at all, If you did not show any sign of jealousy then you never really cared/loved the person enough
or, you just weren't immature and needy
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Anonymous #1
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Sat down and had a discusssion today. Weve decided were pretty solid. We dont just say we love eachother we show it. In silly ways like him buying me eggs when Id run out and didnt want to go to the shops in the rain. Or me getting him a good luck card for the exams. He says he feels loved regardless of whether I stick my tounge down his throat in public or not!
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