Eating disorder - chewing and spitting
I've suffered from an eating disorder on/off for around six years now. I got therapy in the first two years and recovered pretty well, but in the past year or so I've relapsed a bit and I've started chewing food up and then spitting it right back out again, so as not to consume any calories.
I hate myself and I feel as if this chewing/spitting is ruining my life. I haven't told anyone about it, because it's quite unusual, not to mention disgusting and wasteful. I feel guilty every time I do it.
I won't spit or chew huge amounts of food - usually only a chocolate bar at a time or something like that - but once in a while I lose control and binge quite a bit, and feel absolutely disgusting afterwards. What I do after a chew/spit binge is run up and down the stairs, so as to burn off any rogue calories that I might have consumed.
I can't tell my parents, as I feel they would be ashamed of me and angry for wasting food, and I don't want to tell my current therapist or anyone else for that matter that I know in real life; it is just too embarrassing.
I hate myself and I feel as if this chewing/spitting is ruining my life. I haven't told anyone about it, because it's quite unusual, not to mention disgusting and wasteful. I feel guilty every time I do it.
I won't spit or chew huge amounts of food - usually only a chocolate bar at a time or something like that - but once in a while I lose control and binge quite a bit, and feel absolutely disgusting afterwards. What I do after a chew/spit binge is run up and down the stairs, so as to burn off any rogue calories that I might have consumed.
I can't tell my parents, as I feel they would be ashamed of me and angry for wasting food, and I don't want to tell my current therapist or anyone else for that matter that I know in real life; it is just too embarrassing.
