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Confused about my sexuality
I've always thought I was totally straight. I'm often called 'boy mad' 
the problem is, I live with 4 other girls one of which is bisexual and has a girlfriend. She is one of my best flatmates and I've always been pretty close to her but just recently I've started to have feelings for her but, because she has a girlfriend, I haven't tried anything but I can't help wondering what it would be like to kiss her. We flirt and tease each other a lot and I've had fantasies were we were making out .
On my birthday, another of my flatmates kissed me on the cheek and then said, 'proper kiss?' so I agreed and we kissed on the lips a few times. I was a bit puzzled as she has a boyfriend but I enjoyed it. The next day we were parting ways and kissed again.
Now I can't stop thinking about the kisses. I sort of feel like I would like to kiss using tongues and even make out (cuddling not sex), just to see what it's like but I can't understand why as I've always just been into boys. I also just want to kiss the aforementioned girls, I don't find any other girls attractive.
Am I bisexual, bi-curious or just straight but experimenting?
Is it just a phase I'm going through?
Sorry, I just wanted other people's opinions about the situation.
the problem is, I live with 4 other girls one of which is bisexual and has a girlfriend. She is one of my best flatmates and I've always been pretty close to her but just recently I've started to have feelings for her but, because she has a girlfriend, I haven't tried anything but I can't help wondering what it would be like to kiss her. We flirt and tease each other a lot and I've had fantasies were we were making out . On my birthday, another of my flatmates kissed me on the cheek and then said, 'proper kiss?' so I agreed and we kissed on the lips a few times. I was a bit puzzled as she has a boyfriend but I enjoyed it. The next day we were parting ways and kissed again.
Now I can't stop thinking about the kisses. I sort of feel like I would like to kiss using tongues and even make out (cuddling not sex), just to see what it's like but I can't understand why as I've always just been into boys. I also just want to kiss the aforementioned girls, I don't find any other girls attractive.
Am I bisexual, bi-curious or just straight but experimenting?
Is it just a phase I'm going through?
Sorry, I just wanted other people's opinions about the situation.
Scroll to see replies
My opinion? You should film this stuff and sell it! 
No, seriously - I'm inclined to think that sexuality is fairly fluid and that people's desires will fluctuate (in target, strength, etc). So the attraction in itself isn't the issue...
The problem is that both of the girls you are attracted to are attached to other people. Focus on that first!
Also, you could always talk to the bi girl about this - it's hardly as though she will discriminate against you on grounds of sexuality.
No, seriously - I'm inclined to think that sexuality is fairly fluid and that people's desires will fluctuate (in target, strength, etc). So the attraction in itself isn't the issue...
The problem is that both of the girls you are attracted to are attached to other people. Focus on that first!
Also, you could always talk to the bi girl about this - it's hardly as though she will discriminate against you on grounds of sexuality.
If its only those particular girls, I'd say you're just curious/experimenting. I reckon most people have fantasised, or at least thought about, the same sex. It doesn't make you gay, its just a natural thing. If you saw how often my friends (female) end up making out after way too many drinks, you wouldn't be worried at all!
Anonymous
Am I bisexual, bi-curious or just straight but experimenting?
I'll be honest - I don't fully know the difference between the three terms. The good news is, I don't need to, and neither do you.
Don't feel the need to label your sexuality. As englishstudent says, sexuality is fairly fluid - if you can see yourself getting into a relationship with any particular person, male or female, and it's what you want, then go for it without worrying about sticking a label over the top saying "no wait, I'm straight, these feelings are just pretend" or "that's ok because I'm bi" or "I'll do it but I don't want things to go too far because I'm only experimenting and I'm not bi". Your attraction to any one person is as valid as your attraction to any other, and it's that that defines you as straight, bi, gay, or (like most of us) somewhere in between - it's not the words you use on yourself that define your sexuality.englishstudent
My opinion? You should film this stuff and sell it!
No, seriously - I'm inclined to think that sexuality is fairly fluid and that people's desires will fluctuate (in target, strength, etc). So the attraction in itself isn't the issue...
The problem is that both of the girls you are attracted to are attached to other people. Focus on that first!
Also, you could always talk to the bi girl about this - it's hardly as though she will discriminate against you on grounds of sexuality.
No, seriously - I'm inclined to think that sexuality is fairly fluid and that people's desires will fluctuate (in target, strength, etc). So the attraction in itself isn't the issue...
The problem is that both of the girls you are attracted to are attached to other people. Focus on that first!
Also, you could always talk to the bi girl about this - it's hardly as though she will discriminate against you on grounds of sexuality.
hmmm, I could talk to her but she's in denial about her own sexuality
I think she has a pretty good idea about how I feel about her as she just randomly asked did I want to kiss her and did I ever fantasise about us. I said no on both accounts even though I do
When we went out the other night, we were sitting really close together and she had her leg crossed over mine and to be honest I really liked it
fake plastic love
If its only those particular girls, I'd say you're just curious/experimenting. I reckon most people have fantasised, or at least thought about, the same sex. It doesn't make you gay, its just a natural thing. If you saw how often my friends (female) end up making out after way too many drinks, you wouldn't be worried at all!
Yeah, I think you're right, I'm just curious/ experimenting
Hehe the other night, we were out at a club and I was sitting on one of the girl's knee and kept trying to touch her playfully
sebbie
you are a goddess....
me?
generalebriety's post is excellent, completely agree with him.
In the end, if someone is fit, they're fit! haha
In the end, if someone is fit, they're fit! haha
generalebriety
I'll be honest - I don't fully know the difference between the three terms. The good news is, I don't need to, and neither do you. Don't feel the need to label your sexuality. As englishstudent says, sexuality is fairly fluid - if you can see yourself getting into a relationship with any particular person, male or female, and it's what you want, then go for it without worrying about sticking a label over the top saying "no wait, I'm straight, these feelings are just pretend" or "that's ok because I'm bi" or "I'll do it but I don't want things to go too far because I'm only experimenting and I'm not bi". Your attraction to any one person is as valid as your attraction to any other, and it's that that defines you as straight, bi, gay, or (like most of us) somewhere in between - it's not the words you use on yourself that define your sexuality.
Don't feel the need to label your sexuality. As englishstudent says, sexuality is fairly fluid - if you can see yourself getting into a relationship with any particular person, male or female, and it's what you want, then go for it without worrying about sticking a label over the top saying "no wait, I'm straight, these feelings are just pretend" or "that's ok because I'm bi" or "I'll do it but I don't want things to go too far because I'm only experimenting and I'm not bi". Your attraction to any one person is as valid as your attraction to any other, and it's that that defines you as straight, bi, gay, or (like most of us) somewhere in between - it's not the words you use on yourself that define your sexuality.Thanks, that helps
Anonymous
Sorry, I just wanted other people's opinions about the situation.
Sorry, I just wanted other people's opinions about the situation.
You enjoy kissing girls, you would like to do it again. Call it whatever you want to call it, it doesn't really make a difference anyway. There isn't any "requirements" for being allowed to describe yourself as bisexual, and there isn't any requirement to label yourself as bisexual if you don't feel it is right. Nobody here can determine wether you are bi or not. At best we can say wether we would considder ourselves bisexual if we had feelings similar to those you describe, but that doesn't mean you have to come to the same conclusion.
I know exactly how you feel. I had a friend who although she wasn't attached, as far as I knew she was straight. We were very close and talked about pretty much everything for far too many hours a day! As far as im aware i am straight, but as some people have said above, i think sexuality is a very grey area and I would never say never to a same-sex relationship. I guess it was a gradual occurance, i just began to have feelings for her that were more than just friendship. It didn't really affect our friendship because i never wanted to act on the feelings and she didnt know, if anything we just became closer friends. I was genuinely happy with just being best friends with her, i never really wanted anything more, but i did know that I felt more strongly for her than i did my other friends. Unfortunately now we had a massive argument which cannot and will not be resolved for both our sakes, there was lots of other people involved and it is best for both of us that we don't interact anymore. But it has taken me months to heal from losing her as my best friend, whereas if it was anyone else it probably wouldn't have affected me so much. ANYWAY...im rambling excessively! I havent had feelings for anyone else of the same sex, its all been opposite sex, so i really wouldnt worry all that much, it happens!
Anonymous
I know exactly how you feel. I had a friend who although she wasn't attached, as far as I knew she was straight. We were very close and talked about pretty much everything for far too many hours a day! As far as im aware i am straight, but as some people have said above, i think sexuality is a very grey area and I would never say never to a same-sex relationship. I guess it was a gradual occurance, i just began to have feelings for her that were more than just friendship. It didn't really affect our friendship because i never wanted to act on the feelings and she didnt know, if anything we just became closer friends. I was genuinely happy with just being best friends with her, i never really wanted anything more, but i did know that I felt more strongly for her than i did my other friends. Unfortunately now we had a massive argument which cannot and will not be resolved for both our sakes, there was lots of other people involved and it is best for both of us that we don't interact anymore. But it has taken me months to heal from losing her as my best friend, whereas if it was anyone else it probably wouldn't have affected me so much. ANYWAY...im rambling excessively! I havent had feelings for anyone else of the same sex, its all been opposite sex, so i really wouldnt worry all that much, it happens!
yeah, I'm really into boys and always have been, that's why it's so strange to think that I would ever have feelings for a girl lol I guess a lot of girls feel like this at some point in their life
It doesn't help living with them lolAwww
hope you can sort things out even if you don't think you can Anonymous
yeah, I'm really into boys and always have been, that's why it's so strange to think that I would ever have feelings for a girl lol I guess a lot of girls feel like this at some point in their life It doesn't help living with them lol
Awww hope you can sort things out even if you don't think you can
It doesn't help living with them lolAwww
hope you can sort things out even if you don't think you can Yep, i lived with her last year (and unfortunately still do!)
No, it is completely unresolvable unfortunately and im honestly not the kind of person to give up on a friendship easily, but this one is just too weird for my brain to handle!
Anonymous
Yep, i lived with her last year (and unfortunately still do!)
No, it is completely unresolvable unfortunately and im honestly not the kind of person to give up on a friendship easily, but this one is just too weird for my brain to handle!
No, it is completely unresolvable unfortunately and im honestly not the kind of person to give up on a friendship easily, but this one is just too weird for my brain to handle!
;console;
Ah right, I understand
To the OP, I'd say get out and about and experiment. Not with your bi friend, necessarily - it could make things very messy - but get out and about, go clubbing, meet some people. You don't have to identify as anything at all, but just take some time and find out what you like.
I'm bi and to be honest, you do get a bit of crap from people for it, but so long as you're secure in what you feel what does it matter. I've 'considered' what it would be like to kiss some of my female friends, and they're not bi or anywhere close - considering it just means you're wondering, it doesn't mean you've a full blown crush on them.
Just go with the flow and explore all your options. Don't worry about labeling yourself.. everyone thinks about it sometimes and maybe after a few drunk pulls you'll think 'what was I thinking of, it's ick!'.. but at least you'll know. You owe it to yourself to find out what you like - what better time than uni, when you're surrounded by hot girls getting drunk? haha.
I'm bi and to be honest, you do get a bit of crap from people for it, but so long as you're secure in what you feel what does it matter. I've 'considered' what it would be like to kiss some of my female friends, and they're not bi or anywhere close - considering it just means you're wondering, it doesn't mean you've a full blown crush on them.
Just go with the flow and explore all your options. Don't worry about labeling yourself.. everyone thinks about it sometimes and maybe after a few drunk pulls you'll think 'what was I thinking of, it's ick!'.. but at least you'll know. You owe it to yourself to find out what you like - what better time than uni, when you're surrounded by hot girls getting drunk? haha.
Anonymous
To the OP, I'd say get out and about and experiment. Not with your bi friend, necessarily - it could make things very messy - but get out and about, go clubbing, meet some people. You don't have to identify as anything at all, but just take some time and find out what you like.
I'm bi and to be honest, you do get a bit of crap from people for it, but so long as you're secure in what you feel what does it matter. I've 'considered' what it would be like to kiss some of my female friends, and they're not bi or anywhere close - considering it just means you're wondering, it doesn't mean you've a full blown crush on them.
Just go with the flow and explore all your options. Don't worry about labeling yourself.. everyone thinks about it sometimes and maybe after a few drunk pulls you'll think 'what was I thinking of, it's ick!'.. but at least you'll know. You owe it to yourself to find out what you like - what better time than uni, when you're surrounded by hot girls getting drunk? haha.
I'm bi and to be honest, you do get a bit of crap from people for it, but so long as you're secure in what you feel what does it matter. I've 'considered' what it would be like to kiss some of my female friends, and they're not bi or anywhere close - considering it just means you're wondering, it doesn't mean you've a full blown crush on them.
Just go with the flow and explore all your options. Don't worry about labeling yourself.. everyone thinks about it sometimes and maybe after a few drunk pulls you'll think 'what was I thinking of, it's ick!'.. but at least you'll know. You owe it to yourself to find out what you like - what better time than uni, when you're surrounded by hot girls getting drunk? haha.
Hmmm well to be honest, I think I need to 'make out' with another girl (preferably the two I've mentioned but they are attached) to get it out of my system if that makes sense?
just to know what it's like.Zoecb
To quote Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood, Doctor Who):
"You people and your quaint little categories..."
"You people and your quaint little categories..."
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