I need help stopping...

Hi guys,
sorry to post as anon, but I am genuinely to ashamed to face my demons openly. I started cutting myself 4-5 months ago, I am not sure what started it. I think it may have been stress and self hatred. Last week though, I realised that even though I hate myself, cutting is not the answer, so I spoke to someone, and gave the my "sharp" objects. I haven't done it since, but I was wondering if anyone could suggest anything I could do when I feel like cutting, so that I can find another coping mechanism. I know I am making no sense and sound like a right freak, which I guess I am, but any help would be really appreciated.
Thanks a lot

Reply 1

Misogynist

18

The logic behind 'cutting yourself' is you want to feel pain to know you're alive, because society makes you feel nonexistant.

A coping method you can adapt is self-improvement.

Reply 2

generalebriety

16

You seem to have the willpower to deal with it alone. :smile:

We can't suggest what you can do when you're stressed. Just grit your teeth, reassure yourself that things are fine, and get on with sorting stuff out. Very British, but it works. :p:

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

Why

The logic behind 'cutting yourself' is you want to feel pain to know you're alive, because society makes you feel nonexistant.

A coping method you can adapt is self-improvement.

I'm sure the OP didn't ask to be subtly insulted.

Reply 4

Archkinkist

Well done for giving those instruments to someone else; as an ex s/h-er (albeit relatively mild) and someone who engages in destructive behaviours, I know that it can be hard, so you've taken a great first step :hugs:

As far as coping mechanisms, one you could try is hitting a pillow, releasing anger in that way, or drawing a large angry picture, or just being aggressive with a red marker, something to symbolise what you want but that doesn't make it happen :smile:

Or often a good idea is to write down what is triggering the desire to harm, or some form of diary, as catharsis. One thing I do, though not directly related, to stop myself picking lips or pulling hair, is to crack my bones, of course not everyone can do that but that feels good and gives me another focus :smile:

Have you seen a doctor about the s/h?
If you wanna talk more about any of this then feel free to PM me or add me to MSN in confidence :hugs:

Reply 5

Misogynist

18

generalebriety

I'm sure the OP didn't ask to be subtly insulted.

Well, what do you want me to say? She's cutting herself because she's in the universe of pink marshmallows and fluffy bunnies? To eliminate a problem you need to know the cause, and I'm sorry to say, that is the medical cause.

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

Why

Well, what do you want me to say? She's cutting herself because she's in the universe of pink marshmallows and fluffy bunnies? To eliminate a problem you need to know the cause, and I'm sorry to say, that is the medical cause.

The OP is doing better on their own than most people in this (very vulnerable) position. Doesn't need the insults.

Reply 7

A Frumious Bandersnatch!

if you're angry, just do loads of pressups until you can physically do no more...

it knackers you out totally and then you just wanna chill

true fact

Reply 8

singh1987

ok im not going to read more than that your uting yourself, but there is no reason in the world for you to do so. your life is precious, you shouldn't let it go. so many people would love a life that you have, kids in africa can't even eat a proper meal while we can, you do not see them cutting themselves. in my opinion there is not a good enough reason in this world to cut yourself. stop doing it, and do not think about doing it and plus it wrecks ya skin! but i sometimes pray when i feel down.

Reply 9

Hev456

11

Dont know how true this is, but apparently putting an elastic band on your wrist and snapping it helps because it hurts but doesn't leave lasting scars. Or squeezing an ice cube into your palm gives the same effect.

How about a punching bag, or throwing a soft ball really hard against a wall to vent the anger?

Reply 10

UrbanAngel

i'm not sure how helpful this is because i've never been in the situation but a friend told me that when you feel the need to do it if you hold an ice cube in your fist it gives you the same release without physically hurting yourself :smile:

all the best and well done for facing your problems

Reply 11

anjimcflanji

1

I have heard that the elactic band works very well or if you don't want to have to explain it, and you are female (or bloke with long hair!) then put a tight hair tie around your wrist. Exercise is good, not that you can always burst into a run but maybe take up jogging to help get fit which is always good but exercise releases endorphines which will make you feel better. You could do a diary of why you feel bad, or when and try nd remove yourself from such situations?
Good Luck!!!

Reply 12

fanofkdc

7

Why

The logic behind 'cutting yourself' is you want to feel pain to know you're alive, because society makes you feel nonexistant.

A coping method you can adapt is self-improvement.

I can honestly say that that has never been a motivation behind my self-harm, at least not consciously - I think it's a rage issue, anger and so on.
But anyway, to the question - I also gave my sharps to one of my flatmates, and under no condition is she allowed to give them back to me.
I'd be tempted to say punch a wall, because that's what I do, but that probably isn't a good idea. Maybe find something that means something to you, a poem or song lyrics and write them down - then when you feel the urge, sit down, take a few deep breaths, and read the lyrics/poem.

Reply 13

emsy88

10

First off, congratulations for taking the big step of deciding to stop. You should be proud of yourself! :hugs:

When I stopped it took me ages to find what worked best for me. In the end I found the most useful thing was listening to 'happy music', wearing an elastic band and trying to distract myself by making sure I was surrounded by people I loved. Other things I know people have tried and have worked are:
Running or physical exercise (distracts and releases endorphins)
Drawing red lines where they want to cut
Holding ice cubes against their skin
Drawing pictures to try and get what you are feeling 'out'
Phoning a friend
Tidying something
Writing a list of all your good points or everything you want to accomplish in your life
Watching a 'feel good' movie
Eating something yummy... personally I'd recommend Ben and Jerries :wink:

Also talking on forums, either general ones like this or ones specifically designed to give help to people who self harm. Even if all you get are virtual hugs, it makes you feel better plus you know you are surrounded by people who understand. I don't think I am allowed to recommend links but feel free to PM me if you want to talk or want the name of any sites that may help :smile:

Reply 14

person 34

9

singh1987

ok im not going to read more than that your uting yourself, but there is no reason in the world for you to do so. your life is precious, you shouldn't let it go. so many people would love a life that you have, kids in africa can't even eat a proper meal while we can, you do not see them cutting themselves. in my opinion there is not a good enough reason in this world to cut yourself. stop doing it, and do not think about doing it and plus it wrecks ya skin! but i sometimes pray when i feel down.

Bull****. What that guy said earlier about feeling non exsistant, I think is very true. In this modern, fast paced society it's easy to feel like a nobody, and depression doesn't HAVE to stem from something bad in life.

Reply 15

rawkingpunkster

Its good that you can even face the fact and acknowledge you have problems. Its up to you what you want to do to help yourself.

Seek help from a counsellor, or go make yourself busy by taking up a sport or new skill perhaps. :biggrin:

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

I've just stopped cutting recently as well.
Go to www.self-injury.net
they have a list of alternatives you can try when you feel the ure. They also have sort of real-life stories sent in by other self-harmers which can make you feel less alone.

Reply 17

slackerbeeatch

2

Well done to the OP for taking steps to sort out the self harming!! I think it is very important for you to get a support network so that you always have someone to turn to. Obviously forums are good, but I think it might help to have your real friends or family know what is going on so that they can physically be there for you and support you.

ps.

Archkinkist

One thing I do, though not directly related, to stop myself picking lips or pulling hair, is to crack my bones, of course not everyone can do that but that feels good and gives me another focus :smile:

Have you seen a doctor about the s/h?

is lip biting and picking classed as self harm? I've been doing it for years and I have noticed that I do it worse when I am nervous...

Reply 18

HeadShock

To the OP
Get yourself an intrument of some kind a guitar or drums, you can thrash out your anger and emotions using them, i play with my bass and just release any tension onto the strings if i'm stressed, play music that is the opposite of your mood, many punk/pop bands talk about problems and it can help to listen to music that doesn't concentrate on how life is great and such.

Reply 19

Archkinkist

slackerbeeatch

ps.

is lip biting and picking classed as self harm? I've been doing it for years and I have noticed that I do it worse when I am nervous...

It isn't entirely classed as s/h, but it's in there with trichotillomania (hair pulling, from which I also have suffered) as destructive behaviours, so it's certainly in a similar vein, though a lot less painful/destructive in many ways, though still annoyingly addictive.

I need help stopping...

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