I feel you, i've been struggling with my identity for a while, and asexual never seemed quite right because im quite a sexual person, i have a dirty mind, and i like reading and watching sex, but i just have no desire to touch anyone's genitals or have anyone touch mine. i love cuddling and being physically intimate, but the minute things get naked and serious i get incredibly uncomfortable and not even close to turned on like i do when i watch it or think about it, it's very strange, and an intense disconnect that is hard to find others experiencing because its so niche. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and there are other people out here feeling what you're feeling, and the closest thing i've found to describing me is 'asexual festishist' but even that doesnt feel quite right, i feel like asexuality (and sexuality as a whole) is a far broader and complex spectrum than anyone currently has explored.

Reply 27

gecks70

I can relate to that, never bothered with sex, till after I got married at 29, and then I still wasn't interested all that greatly about sex, and then since our separation after 13 years together, I've not bothered with sex at all, certainly love the idea of sex, but as far as having sex, I am just not interested, or bothered.

Reply 28

abc_123_

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a 24 year old female, and I'm pretty inexperienced. I have had sex before, with one guy. I have a very dirty sense of humour, and I think about sex a lot, but the thing is I'm not fussed about engaging in the act. It's difficult to put into words - I want sex, but I don't want to practice it. I have dated guys, and could have easily pursued more with them, but I'm just disinterested in the intimate side (I'd rather be mentally stimulated by a guy e.g. talking in bed, rather than physically stimulated). I believe this is what stops me from progressing in a relationship. Has anyone else experienced this? I know people speak of being asexual, but that's a complete disinterest. One part of me wants sex and thinks about it, but the other part doesn't want it at all.

I feel the same ... sex is good but I prefer an interesting guy rather than someone who's good in bed x

Reply 29

Van_trami

I totally get this the idea of it seems so fun but in practice I have no interest and it’s similar with the relationship side I want the romance but that always seems to come with sex attached and you can’t have one without the other I feel very discouraged about dating because of this!