I'm in two minds...

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
So I'm turning 26 in a week. I imagined I would have lost my virginity by now, but I never really found a guy I've had a connection with up until now. Its taking me a long while to stop overthinking things and stop thinking the worst based on other guys I've dated. Sometimes things seem to good to be true and I found it hard to relax and enjoy the moment.


Thankfully I'm much more relaxed and if things progress then sex is on the agenda of course. The thing is so many of my friends wish they were still a virgin or seem to have an issue which relates to sex. It just seems like sex can over complicate things at times. I don't want this to happen with me and this guy, but at the same time I want to experience it. All my friends now say I should just wait until Marriage since I made it to this age. I mean I guess this could help weed out the bad eggs, but it seems sooo long. another what 2/3 years will a non-existent sex life, really? Long.

I guess i want to know if sex does complicate things like my friends claim and If id be better off just staying a virgin until I get married or whatever.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#2
Anyone ?
0
reply
Best of Luck
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
It depends on how highly you value sex, and also the amount of drama in your life.

Personally, sex is just enjoyable for me. It has complicated situations in the past, such as sleeping with a friend which then made it pretty awkward which led to us not speaking anymore.

If you want to have sex, have sex. Its enjoyable and unless you are really that bothered, waiting until marriage serves no purpose.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
Why would you wait until marriage if you didn't have a religious reason? Sounds like you're considering waiting for the sake of it which is a little silly. Sex does complicate things. But so does love. Hell, relationships complicate things, but that doesn't mean they're not worth having. It's like Freddie Prinze Jr's character in She's All That says: "Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good."

Think about it this way - you might find you have no compatibility with someone in the sack. Much better to know sooner rather than later. You don't even have an understanding of what your own preferences are yet - how do you know these will be accommodated by your husband in advance? Seems risky to me!

I lost my virginity at 20 and I was always glad I waited, but I am equally so so glad that I didn't seek to wait until marriage. If a guy doesn't want to wait that long, it doesn't make him a "bad egg"!

Plus ... sex is really, really fun. Don't be afraid of it.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#5
(Original post by Best of Luck)
It depends on how highly you value sex, and also the amount of drama in your life.

Personally, sex is just enjoyable for me. It has complicated situations in the past, such as sleeping with a friend which then made it pretty awkward which led to us not speaking anymore.

If you want to have sex, have sex. Its enjoyable and unless you are really that bothered, waiting until marriage serves no purpose.

I think my worst fear would be the guy cutting me off right after or discovering he wasn't that into me or something. I mean this dude has been around for almost 9 months and we haven't had sex yet. I'm hoping this is a good sign.


My life is pretty much drama free for the most part. Yeah I wouldn't go down that road, sleeping with a friend is very risky.

Thank you
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Why would you wait until marriage if you didn't have a religious reason? Sounds like you're considering waiting for the sake of it which is a little silly. Sex does complicate things. But so does love. Hell, relationships complicate things, but that doesn't mean they're not worth having. It's like Freddie Prinze Jr's character in She's All That says: "Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good."

Think about it this way - you might find you have no compatibility with someone in the sack. Much better to know sooner rather than later. You don't even have an understanding of what your own preferences are yet - how do you know these will be accommodated by your husband in advance? Seems risky to me!

I lost my virginity at 20 and I was always glad I waited, but I am equally so so glad that I didn't seek to wait until marriage. If a guy doesn't want to wait that long, it doesn't make him a "bad egg"!

Plus ... sex is really, really fun. Don't be afraid of it.
No idea, I think I have it in my head that things might work out better that way. Like my friends day I've waited all this time so maybe it's worth waiting a bit longer. But nothing is guaranteed, it could all go pear shaped either way.

That's very true - I for one have no idea what I like and don't like. It would be horrible to find out I was turned off by seeing my husband naked lol.

I wasnt referring to guys that wouldn't be willing to wait as bad eggs by the way. I know some guys have high sex drives and I wouldn't expect them to wait around when they can get it elsewhere. I meant commitment wise, weeding out the guy who's in it for the long haul and not just wanting some fun and no commitment.

I was so close to having sex when I was 18 and I really doubt I would have regretted it to be honest. But I'm here now. The guy I'm dating has been super patient (not saying he isn't getting it elsewhere) but it doesn't look like sex is all he's after. We've been seeing each other for almost 9 months now, things are heating up and I'm still in two minds lol. I keep thinking of the worst case scenarios.
0
reply
Best of Luck
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#7
Report 6 years ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think my worst fear would be the guy cutting me off right after or discovering he wasn't that into me or something. I mean this dude has been around for almost 9 months and we haven't had sex yet. I'm hoping this is a good sign.


My life is pretty much drama free for the most part. Yeah I wouldn't go down that road, sleeping with a friend is very risky.

Thank you
9 months?? He is a god
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#8
(Original post by Best of Luck)
9 months?? He is a god
Lol doesn't mean he didn't get any elsewhere though
1
reply
Retired_Messiah
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#9
Report 6 years ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
If id be better off just staying a virgin until I get married or whatever.
What.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I think my worst fear would be the guy cutting me off right after or discovering he wasn't that into me or something
What.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#10
(Original post by Retired_Messiah)
What.


What.

??
0
reply
Retired_Messiah
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#11
Report 6 years ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
??
Your thought process bewilders me.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#12
Report 6 years ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
No idea, I think I have it in my head that things might work out better that way. Like my friends day I've waited all this time so maybe it's worth waiting a bit longer. But nothing is guaranteed, it could all go pear shaped either way.
It could, and it could easily be a decade before you get married. Or longer! Or forever (hopefully not, but you never know). Would you really want to wait that long?? I would never try to convince someone who wasn't ready, but you sound like you are, and I kind of feel waiting for marriage is for people who have a really strong belief system that means they actively don't want to do it.

That's very true - I for one have no idea what I like and don't like. It would be horrible to find out I was turned off by seeing my husband naked lol.
Not even just that. What if he hated giving oral and would never do it, and you found it difficult to get off any other way, or maybe if he decided he wanted to try loads of kink and you didn't, or vice versa? Or one of you wanted lots of dirty talk and the other was eerily silent, or one of you liked gentle and dark and the other liked rough with all the lights on? You always have to compromise on something/take it in turns, but sometimes people aren't compatible. And sometimes people ARE, and it's awesome. Worth finding out IMO!

I wasnt referring to guys that wouldn't be willing to wait as bad eggs by the way. I know some guys have high sex drives and I wouldn't expect them to wait around when they can get it elsewhere. I meant commitment wise, weeding out the guy who's in it for the long haul and not just wanting some fun and no commitment.
BUT won't you also be weeding out potentially really great guys? I mean, I wouldn't wait for marriage. And I'm awesome. [Albeit female]

I was so close to having sex when I was 18 and I really doubt I would have regretted it to be honest. But I'm here now. The guy I'm dating has been super patient (not saying he isn't getting it elsewhere) but it doesn't look like sex is all he's after. We've been seeing each other for almost 9 months now, things are heating up and I'm still in two minds lol. I keep thinking of the worst case scenarios.
I can't promise anything but I think it very unlikely that a guy would date you for nine months on the off chance that you might have sex with him eventually. Unless he is really desperate. But if he's really desperate then he will definitely stick around

No judgment whatsoever if you do decide to wait, I am just an advocate of sex!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (3)
3.75%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (11)
13.75%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (14)
17.5%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (9)
11.25%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (29)
36.25%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (14)
17.5%

Watched Threads

View All