Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Being 16

Okay hey guys, I'd really appreciate all feedback here so here goes.

I turned 16 in May and I got my (previously confiscated) tablet and laptop back. With the return my parents told me that they were now my property and I could do what I liked with them. This part isn't important yet but will come in later in the question.

So my curfew to be home every single night is before it gets dark, it's been like this since I was about 14, but now it's getting dark later they've changed it to 9:30.
All my friends are out until 12am/1am and I've tried telling my parents this but they refuse to have it, even when I'm getting a lift home they want me home before 10pm.
Today I was meeting some friends to revise for my Chem exam tomorrow but because they "didn't believe where I was going" they refused to let me out of the house. This was at 4:30pm. Because I don't have a phone and rarely use Facebook, this was prearranged and therefore couldn't tell my friends I wasn't coming.
Then the same friends who I was supposed to meet texted my mum and told her they were waiting for me, but even with this evidence she made me stay in because she didn't believe me.

I'm not allowed to parties unless my dad drops me off and picks me up, I'm not allowed out of my town unless it's for very specific reasons, I'm not allowed out past 9:30pm and I'm not allowed out of the house without their permission?! Their point is that I don't pay rent so I don't get to choose, but I have a job and offer them board and they turn it down.

If I do just leave the house I know that they can't force me to come back, but they have threatened to take my laptop and tablet off me again. So I don't know how to handle the situation - do I fight for my freedom and lose the last shreds of technology at the beginning of my A-Levels or do I let them treat me like I'm 14?

I have no idea about other peoples curfews so I'd just really appreciate everyone telling me what they were allowed to do at 16 and whether this is unfair and most importantly how I deal with this and how I let them know that I need more freedom.
How do I get it into their heads that my curfew is commonly 3/4 hours less than other people my age and how do I negotiate?!

Reply 1

Andrew657Thomas

Behave and do what they say until university, move out and then they will have no control ^_^

Reply 2

MissPariz

But it's not about behaving, and I may not even go to uni? I'm actually really well behaved, I could be a lot worse, they just refuse to see reason.

Reply 3

Kanairee

They're just protective over you, that's all. I'd say the best thing to do is try negotiating a bit more freedom. Firstly a phone would go a long way to getting you more in contact not only with your friends, but with your parents too. They could call you half-hourly and check in with you, if it'd put their minds at rest. Secondly I'm not sure what kind of town you live in but they might not think it's very safe for your to be out with your friends late at night or by yourself. But again, phones have all sorts of apps that you can set to notify a specific contact if you don't respond to alerts. Ask them to have a bit more faith in you, but don't push the point too much. Barraging them with requests will probably result in having your things confiscated again.
To a certain extent you need to acknowledge that they're just trying to protect you, but maybe try asking for a trial period to start off with where you have a bit more independence? Ask for maybe a week or a couple of days where the rules aren't too strict and if that goes well, they might see things differently.