Best friend and lad I like going on a date Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Hey, so idk to feel as obviously i can't vent to my best mate like i normally would..But basically, the boy I like, and my best friend who knows this, had planned to meet up for dinner. My best friend claimed it was only pizza and nothing to be worried about but she does tend to be a bit promiscuous.

I told her I liked him and he naively thought he was just going to meet up cos they talk occasionally, as far as I know platonically, because she got stood up by someone else to be a good mate. Am i reasonable to feel aggrieved by the fact she knew I liked him and still asked him to meet up with her?

Because I'm giving her the cold shoulder after telling her it pissed me off and she's acting like I'm being unreasonable, I don't know if i am being too prissy.
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Man.bear.pig
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#2
Report 3 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, so idk to feel as obviously i can't vent to my best mate like i normally would..But basically, the boy I like, and my best friend who knows this, had planned to meet up for dinner. My best friend claimed it was only pizza and nothing to be worried about but she does tend to be a bit promiscuous.

I told her I liked him and he naively thought he was just going to meet up cos they talk occasionally, as far as I know platonically, because she got stood up by someone else to be a good mate. Am i reasonable to feel aggrieved by the fact she knew I liked him and still asked him to meet up with her?

Because I'm giving her the cold shoulder after telling her it pissed me off and she's acting like I'm being unreasonable, I don't know if i am being too prissy.
erm so here's the thing. never tell your mates who you like. ever.


also based on how you ended up here, your feelings are justified.
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LeyK
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#3
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As long as you know that your bestie doesn't have any reason to get any feelings from him
or
has no prior history with him
Then you have no reason to get pissed (also the assumption they are friends due to the occasional meet ups)
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Yellow 03
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, so idk to feel as obviously i can't vent to my best mate like i normally would..But basically, the boy I like, and my best friend who knows this, had planned to meet up for dinner. My best friend claimed it was only pizza and nothing to be worried about but she does tend to be a bit promiscuous.

I told her I liked him and he naively thought he was just going to meet up cos they talk occasionally, as far as I know platonically, because she got stood up by someone else to be a good mate. Am i reasonable to feel aggrieved by the fact she knew I liked him and still asked him to meet up with her?

Because I'm giving her the cold shoulder after telling her it pissed me off and she's acting like I'm being unreasonable, I don't know if i am being too prissy.
Unfortunately I don't think you are unreasonable at all, based on your description. I always try to assess such situations based on whether I would do the same if the tables were turned. And I could not imagine ever going out with someone my best friend had a crush on - not even for an innocent reason, as this could still be misconstrued or end up being messed up one way or another. Trust your gut on this, and don't second-guess your feelings. It doesn't sound like your best friend can be trusted here, and I think you already know this.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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(Original post by Yellow 03)
Unfortunately I don't think you are unreasonable at all, based on your description. I always try to assess such situations based on whether I would do the same if the tables were turned. And I could not imagine ever going out with someone my best friend had a crush on - not even for an innocent reason, as this could still be misconstrued or end up being messed up one way or another. Trust your gut on this, and don't second-guess your feelings. It doesn't sound like your best friend can be trusted here, and I think you already know this.
She even said to me herself before, because she hesitated going when i was unhappy about it, "if you did the same to me i'd be annoyed". what she then did was push the agenda with him and tried telling me it was him that initiated it to poison me against him. She has no reason to go with him, so it looks like i have to cut her off.
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Boo-Urns
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#6
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Depends how much you believe you can trust your friend
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Anonymous #2
#7
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#7
Well....this same thing happened to me! I told my best mate the guy I liked had broken up with the girl he'd kinda been seeing. I was happy because I thought I would get up the courage to tell him how I felt - which for me would be a big deal. Three days later they ran into each other at a pub at our uni and got together. I was sooo shocked! He had no idea that I liked him but she knew. They dated for four months but he broke it off with her before exams because he was heading to his home country for the summer and didn't want a long distance relationship. I still like him. But, now I don't feel I could let him know because they'd been together and it would be disrespectful to my friend. She is one of my best mates and she's great but it did hurt me!
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Zarek
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#8
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#8
Alls fair in love and war. It's only really bad if a friend poaches your partner when you are together. This happens too mind..
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Anonymous #3
#9
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#9
I too would be annoyed! I can remember a few years ago when a friend and I were at the pub and the boy I liked happened to be there too (she knew I liked him) yet she went to the bar and bought him a drink and gave him a hug and started chatting to him.. although I'm over it now, I can remember asking myself why my bestfriend was essentially disabling me, rather than helping me out with this dude!
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