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Boyfriend vs Best friend

I've been best friends with a guy for 4 or 5 years ago. He's amazing and means the world to me. I was crazy about him when I first met him, and vice versa, but we decided not to let anything happen cos we live about an hour apart. We thought it'd be too difficult. So, we just stayed close.

I've had a wonderful boyfriend for almost two years now and I know he's a great guy, I really do love him. But sometimes I can't help thinking about my best friend and what would have happened had we ever let anything happen. At my birthday a few weeks ago, we almost kissed, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Is it wrong for me to be going out with my boyfriend when I still have feelings for my best friend? Neither know that I still have feelings for him, other than the almost kissing thing, which my boyfriend doesn't know about.. What should I do? xx

Reply 1

bunthulhu

14

Be honest with your boyfriend about your feelings for your best friend. Then you just need to get some self control and pick one quite honestly!

Reply 2

mangomaz

14

Decide whether you're going to do anything about the best friend. If you're not going to then don't tell your boyfriend about your feelings... what would you honestly achieve?
However if you do think that its going to bug you forever with the 'what ifs' about your best friend, you may want to give it a shot and see what happens. Could be true love who knows.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Worst thing is that I'm moving to where my best friend lives to go to uni, not deliberately, just happens to be where the best course is.. :s xx

Reply 4

bunthulhu

14

Okay then, well if you're going to be away from your boyfriend and with your best friend, and you can't control yourself around your best friend; then perhaps you should let your boyfriend go?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Perhaps.. Thanks for the advice.. Gotta hate guy problems :s xx

Reply 6

Pamplemousse22

Depends if you think your friend feels the same way about you?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I'd like to think so but I don't know :frown:

Reply 8

Yoda

12

Anonymous

I've been best friends with a guy for 4 or 5 years ago. He's amazing and means the world to me. I was crazy about him when I first met him, and vice versa, but we decided not to let anything happen cos we live about an hour apart. We thought it'd be too difficult. So, we just stayed close.

I've had a wonderful boyfriend for almost two years now and I know he's a great guy, I really do love him. But sometimes I can't help thinking about my best friend and what would have happened had we ever let anything happen. At my birthday a few weeks ago, we almost kissed, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Is it wrong for me to be going out with my boyfriend when I still have feelings for my best friend? Neither know that I still have feelings for him, other than the almost kissing thing, which my boyfriend doesn't know about.. What should I do? xx

Ok, so you're boyfriend is alright, but you dig your "best friend" more? Clearly you don't really like your boyfriend, hes just someone to fill the spot. Dump him straight up now christmas has gone. As for your best friend, don't do it. If he didnt ask you out before, you might have a week or two being cool together, but soon enough you'll get bored of him, ditch him and lose a best friend. Believe me or don't, this is just my tip. Not sure how you look (and clearly guys are all about looks, as we all know) but hopefully you'll be able to pick up a new boyfriend quick enough.

Yoda out.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I do really really love my bf though, it's just like a niggling feeling for my friend..

Reply 10

bunthulhu

14

If you do love him, it will overcome that niggling feeling. If you can't make it go away then you can't really love your boyfriend that much. I mean, you've been with him for 2 years, any feelings for your friend should have disappeared long ago!

Reply 11

Yoda

12

It won't work with your best friend. Its your choice what you do from there.

Reply 12

Schmokie Dragon

17

You and your friend decided not to let anything happen. Why would that have changed? Do you suddenly love him to pieces, can't stop thinking about him, he lives closer, things are difficult with your boyfriend?

There is often a sense of "the grass is greener" in relationships. Even when you have a good relationship. You are thinking what if because you can't have him. What would you be thinking if you suddenly could have him? Would you be as bothered?

You say you love your boyfriend and only have a niggling feeling for you best friend. A kind of "oo, we nearly kissed, what if?" feeling. Get that out of your head. If you have something good, don't give it up! A bird in the hand and all that.

And contrary to what people say, it is really difficult to stay good friends with someone if you break up. Don't lose your boyfriend and risk losing you best friend too.

Reply 13

Loulee

Schmokie Dragon

And contrary to what people say, it is really difficult to stay good friends with someone if you break up. Don't lose your boyfriend and risk losing you best friend too.

:dito:

Reply 14

matt@internet

12

The oldest of us is in our early 20's, and many more are younger. Clearly we know all about what love is.

Reply 15

hannah_dru

2

I know it's a bit late to say it, but I honestly don't think an hour is that bad.

I don't think you should give up your boyfriend though.

Boyfriend vs Best friend

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