I'm rarely attracted to men as I feel many men I encounter are not masculine

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
It's interesting, the concept of masculinity. (Btw, I've only been on these forums a little while and I think you might get shredded for your comments. Some angry guys on here). I'm the opposite to you. I notice a lot of men are performing that hyper masculinity around me, all lads lads lads, p**y, etc. I prefer the more feminine guy. (Also in my mid 20s!)

I think if we were more flexible in what we expected of masculinity and femininity, we wouldn't be disappointed. Maybe these days we are more aware of gender fluidity, men expressing feminine traits, women expressing masculine traits. So, apologies, I don't share the same frustrations. I actually wish it was more acceptable to be a feminine man or a masculine woman! However, I think this has the potential* to be a great thread/discussion.

*unless trolls kill it!
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KittyAnneR
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#3
I think you're stuggling to find someone you're really attracted to because your idea of masculinity is socially and culturally sort of outdated, that's probably why you see the attributes you like in the older men.

In this day and age there is much less of a divide between the sexes and gender roles, possibly because of social media and how easy it is to form 'connections' with strangers and voice opinions. I personally prefer it now the lines have blurred between 'ideal man' and 'ideal woman' as I am quite fluid in my sexuality, but I can see where your frustrations lie. It's very interesting. What is it, mostly the physical or social attributes that disappoint you?
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cole-slaw
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's interesting, the concept of masculinity. (Btw, I've only been on these forums a little while and I think you might get shredded for your comments. Some angry guys on here). I'm the opposite to you. I notice a lot of men are performing that hyper masculinity around me, all lads lads lads, p**y, etc. I prefer the more feminine guy. (Also in my mid 20s!)
How exactly is that masculine? It just sounds childish.

To be masculine is to act like a man, not a 12 year old.
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unprinted
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#5
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I'm still not sure what counts as 'masculine' in your eyes: assuming you're in charge, because you have a penis?
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ALevelBro
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#6
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#6
(Original post by unprinted)
I'm still not sure what counts as 'masculine' in your eyes: assuming you're in charge, because you have a penis?
Answering for your words and actions, the number one trait of a real man, the rest are social constructs.
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KittyAnneR
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#7
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#7
(Original post by ALevelBro)
Answering for your words and actions, the number one trait of a real man, the rest are social constructs.
So what would you say is the number one trait of a real woman?
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Man.bear.pig
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
I think former men generally reveled and basked in being this way

http://image1.masterfile.com/em_w/02...02797639em.jpg

https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/1/56....340792873.jpg

because they knew women were second class citizens. And if you want one you're gonna have to accept what comes with it; women back then were sort of bimbo-ish and whimsical like, *clutches brooch on her blouse* "Oh my. I do hope this lemonade doesn't get warm before the guests arrive. " :rolleyes:

These days with more and more women's rights, gender lines are being blurred and I'm sure now you'll find somewhere quickly a photo of a woman looking just like the photos I posted above (joke...sort of).


However, there are men like that today still you know.
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KittyAnneR
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Man.bear.pig)
I think former men generally reveled and basked in being this way

http://image1.masterfile.com/em_w/02...02797639em.jpg

https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/1/56....340792873.jpg

because they knew women were second class citizens. And if you want one you're gonna have to accept what comes with it; women back then were sort of bimbo-ish and whimsical like, *clutches brooch on her blouse* "Oh my. I do hope this lemonade doesn't get warm before the guests arrive. " :rolleyes:
Mad Men
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miser
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them.
It was probably a good idea you put this in your post. The TSR community can be a little quick to jump down people's throats for perceived criticisms or 'generalising'...

I don't think there is much of anything you can do. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, and that's it. It probably won't change an awful lot, and if it does, it won't be because of your conscious decision. I think you should make your peace with being attracted to conventional masculinity.

It will probably be quite difficult for you to find someone whom you feel is a good match, but there will be some guys out there like that. It might mean you have to resolve to approach more men yourself if you come across one you might be interested in.

I wouldn't advise 'settling' for anyone you're not totally attracted to. You might feel frustrated and just want to be in a relationship with someone, but that will probably just lead to more frustration if you don't get more attracted to them over time.

It's tough to be attracted to just a small niche of people, but hang in there! I'm sure you'll find someone right for you eventually.
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Man.bear.pig
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#11
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#11
(Original post by KittyAnneR)
Mad Men
never seen but i guess, because i know they have that 50s theme to it.
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KittyAnneR
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Man.bear.pig)
never seen but i guess, because i know they have that 50s theme to it.
Watch it, it's brilliant.
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Man.bear.pig
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#13
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#13
(Original post by KittyAnneR)
Watch it, it's brilliant.
is it over yet?
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KittyAnneR
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Man.bear.pig)
is it over yet?
I am still watching it on NowTV (only recently started) but I think it's still going. I think there are like 7 seasons!
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the bear
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
this is one of the most interesting posts on here recently. previous generations of men led far more challenging lives; they fought against the Germans and other enemies for the survival of our nation. nowadays the greatest challenge facing young men is whether or not to put sprinkles on their skinny frappiato.
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ALevelBro
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(Original post by the bear)
this is one of the most interesting posts on here recently. previous generations of men led far more challenging lives; they fought against the Germans and other enemies for the survival of our nation. nowadays the greatest challenge facing young men is whether or not to put sprinkles on their skinny frappiato.
People lived pretty boring farm lives back then as well, nothing particularly extraordinary, just being born in a specific timeframe.
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varshanct95
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
Some of the things you said sounds very harsh, however, you are 100% true. I am a guy myself, and I can't stand men these days:- wearing skinny jeans.- doing their eyebrows.- having that little pony tail thingy on their head.- waxing their chest and body (looking more shaved than a female).- having piercings on their NOSE. So, relax lads - leave these things to the ladies. In my opinion, what defines true man is keeping yourself natural. And don't forget to pull those trousers up to your waist
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username1234032
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a mid-20s female. I'm straight - I have never been attracted to another female however I am finding it increasingly more difficult to be attracted to men as I feel many of the men, that at least I am surrounded by, are not masculine enough for me to hold any kind of sexual attraction.

Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing for men to be less masculine, nor is it up to me to define what a man should be. However I do find it hard to feel physically inclined towards them. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some great mental and emotional connections but the physical isn't there for me anymore I don't feel that physical rush. In the past I have gone for months and months without being attracted to a man in real life. It sounds silly but I like to watch old movies and look at old photographs and stuff where I feel the men where a lot more manly, including in their image, aura and style even the voice and the way they presented themselves. I see it in older men who even though they have lost their looks there is something about them which is so much more masculine.

I know this works both ways and women are becoming less feminine which frustrates some men. But what is a person to do when physical attraction starts dying out all together? I know it sounds silly but I feel like something is missing almost because of my lack of attraction.
Can anyone relate at all? I'm curious to hear thoughts even if you disagree
You probably aren't looking in the right place. You will find someone
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AvaAdore
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#19
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#19
'Lads' are the opposite of masculine. They are little boys. I hate having lads hit on me. They really are very deluded in not realising how immature and unsexy they are.
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the bear
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#20
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#20
if you ever watch NCIS you can see this played out. The elderly experienced Marine, taciturn Jethro Gibbs, pulls plenty of "Chicks" while the young supposedly "Alpha" male Anthony Denozo never quite gets there.
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