Parents refuse to let go of things

Watch
bobbynojeans
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Maybe a level exams are stressful and maybe thats part of why it bugs me so much but here goes.
My parents
They don't buy an excessive amount but it never goes. We have a double garage. It has a classic car in it. We cant drive it because its covered in "stuff" waiting to sell. The garage loft is the same. We have a spare bedroom measuring 2.8x 3.2 metres. You can't open the door its so full of stuff "waiting to be sold" and is beginning to spill onto the landing. There is an office. Again unusable waiting for "things to be shredded because I run a business and have confidential information in". I have offered to set up a bonfire with a few friends in the garden and burn this along with old schoolwork- effectively solving the problem- and have not been allowed to do so (I'm 18) for reasons undisclosed (I have asked and got an angry response. It has been in this state for 5 years with a computer that hasnt been touched in the same amount of time As a result this "business" is run off the kitchen table and worktops. Paper everywhere.
For as long as I can remember I have never been allowed to get rid of my own things. If i attempt to visibly take something out of the house to get rid of its insisted that my parents "sort through it" to find anything to sell. I have been sneaking MY things in my school bag to get to friends to get rid of them, or throwing out stuff with the guinea pig bag so they don't notice. The stuff I've given them includes old school books (WHY would I want to keep every single french,english,german,spanish,hi story,geography, maths etc related things I have ever written?).
Need I say that by selling it they mean selling it at a carboot. They haven't done one in 10 years.
They keep things nobody would buy, including outdated food, expired cosmetics, clothes with marks and holes in, or bed linen the cat has pissed on (he was old and ill and confused. While this has been put through the wash it still has the mark on it. Honestly the linen cupboard is so full you try to get something out and it falls down)
I don't think they understand how the excess of stuff has affected me.
I get rid of things as a coping mechanism (I'm so used to having too much stuff therefore stress. Getting rid of it releases stress and the association grew)
I deliberately break things so they become obsolete (we own 100 mugs. They fall out the draw when they open it. I have "accidentally" broken 3 in the past week. Oh yeah there are only 2 people in this house who drink tea)
I compulsively get rid of things and keep spaces clear. My room echoes.
Everything has to be perfect in my room otherwise I can't sleep. I can't control the rest of the house but I can control this space.
I obcessively clean the window edging
My brother makes fun of me because theres a poster on the door saying "messiness is a teenage art" and its the cleanest room in the house
I spend too much time in my room
I am to embarassed to invite people over.
Did I mention there are rooms of the house I can't physically walk in?
I'm going to university and have no intention of moving back.
I can't cook proper meals for myself because there is no worktop space and the sink is always messy (clean day old bacon fat pans anyone?) I've been vegan for 4 years so what I can cook in that space is extremely limited- and cleaning bacon fat is less appetising to me than pretty much anyone. I end up leaving the dirty dishes out because i can't get to the sink and then they tell me off like a child and try to stop me cooking anything else. I love cooking. Well I don't I love the result. Nommy homemade food.
Because I can't cook as theres never any space I live mostly of processed food (and as a vegan its hard to have a balanced diet)
I literally go round friends so I can make a home cooked meal.
I wantt to get a skip and throw the whole house in it.
At one point a few years ago I considered lighting it on fire to get rid of it before I comprehended it would burn the house down
I find it physically impossible to buy myself anything I cant envisage easily getting rid of (I'm limited to buying teabags/chocolate/ vinegar (cleans windows and mirrors)/ cosmetics/ antibacterial wipes/tampons etc). A lot of my clothes need replacing because of this and my need to get rid of things as a coping mechanism. The cardigain I'm wearing right now has holes in it for christs sakes
To get rid of things I either have to put things in my backpack and give it to a friend whenever I see them so that they can take it to a charity shop and my parents dont "save" it to sell or put it in the black bag with the guinea pig poop because I know they wont look in there. I hate sending things to landfill and I'm pretty sure my friends think the amount of stuff I give them is barmy.
I have to leave and I feel like they've chosen the stuff over me.
I manage to keep it out of my room at the cost of arguments. My mums just come in going "hey can I store this box of stuff to sell in here for a while?" I know this doesnt sound like much but it won't be a while- it will never get sold and as a result just clutter up my room. Which in and of itself wouldn't be too bad but soon there'll be another box and another and another my room will be like the rest of the house. Horrible. It's happened before
I asked her what's in it and it's old jewellry boxes to sell "at a carboot" for 20p each. There has been no carboot in 10 years that they have done and seriously whos going to buy them for 20p? I asked her to get rid of them and I got the normal really angry dismissive response. Whenever I try to bring the issue up she just gets defencive and angry and refuses to acknowledge theres a problem; when walking down the hall without having stuff in the way feels odd to me. This is relatively usual. If theres something I say or feel they don't want to acknowledge or may be inconvenient I get called "spoiled" and "ungrateful". I just got called a ***** by my mother for trying to get her to get rid of some old cardboard jewellry boxes she was going to sell for 20p. Then she has the audacity to give me the whole "we are the only people who will ever love you" guilt tripping thing. Ugh
If there was a fire how would the firemen get into some of these spaces with ease?
They seem to value stuff more than relationships and experiences and that is something I will never understand.
0
reply
bobbynojeans
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#2
I know this was a bit ranty but what the hell am i meant to do about it?
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you have the space and resources you need to succeed in home learning?

Yes I have everything I need (269)
56.39%
I don't have everything I need (208)
43.61%

Watched Threads

View All