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When to call them boyfriend/girlfriend?

When you're seeing someone, when do you refer to them as your boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you ask them, or what? I've never really had a boyfriend, the closest was going on a few dates with a guy, but now I'm going out loads with a guy for drinks and things...... when do they become a 'boyfriend'?

Reply 1

ZigZag

11

When you agree to stop seeing other people, I suppose.

Reply 2

melonman

haha i hate this... and you would feel soo stupid and childish saying "so are you my bf/gf now?" but yeah i suppose it is when you both stop seeing other people :smile:

xXx

Reply 3

zain88

1

You just kinda know... when you start referring to them as your gf/bf when talking to other people, or when one of you refers to the other as your gf/bf to their face.

If you've only been going out for drinks then I'm not sure he's your bf yet... and I don't want to ask 'what else have you done?' because that is rude and nosy :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

LOL we haven't done anything yet. But I've.......done things with other guys and not considered them a BF at all, just because it wasn't anything 'long term'. If you're seeing a guy regularly, at what point is it a 'good friend/special friends' things and instead a real boyfriend? Tis confusing :redface:

What if I refer to him as my boyfriend and he doesn't agree?

Reply 5

zain88

1

Anonymous

LOL we haven't done anything yet. But I've.......done things with other guys and not considered them a BF at all, just because it wasn't anything 'long term'. If you're seeing a guy regularly, at what point is it a 'good friend/special friends' things and instead a real boyfriend? Tis confusing :redface:

What if I refer to him as my boyfriend and he doesn't agree?

I'm really not sure! It is quite difficult to know. Personally, I've never thought about whether it was a gf/bf thing until it was so many months in that just by looking at the length of time we'd been dating it was clear we were bf/gf.
It just kinda flows from being special friends to gf/bf. I don't think there's a definitive point. Heehee, there used to be a definitive point when you were 13 or 14, and he just said to you after going to the park/cinema a few times 'will you be my gf?' and you said 'ok'. :smile:

aaahhhhh the good old days when things were simple...

If you refer to him as your bf and he doesn't agree, just say 'well i didn't want to say the-guy-i-go-out-with-on-dates! that's too long!' or something. And then you'll also know where he thinks you stand.

Or just wait long enough till you are definitely sure you are gf/bf, like after aagggggeeess of dating.

:smile:

woohoo at least you ARE dating!

I think after this weekend I'll know if i am going to be dating or not... :smile:

excited but scared! (because i have a plan up my sleeve, and it's quite scary). Anyhoo i'm not going to hijack your thread. I'm going to sleep :smile:

x

Reply 6

forpolarbears

17

I'm caught in the same quandary. I've been spending lots of time with this guy, and I don't want to ask, "Hey do you want to go out," because he'll be like, "aren't we already?" or something. I call him my "boysomething" since we talk on and on, and on an emotional/intellectual level, its scarily deep, but I don't know where we exactly stand...

Good luck in sorting it all out :smile:

Reply 7

Oddity

1

I had the same problem recently....I asked him n he freaked out...then he asked me n i freaked out...so now we are just the happyest couple on campus without necessarily defining ourselves...its not a 'must'. just let things go as they are for now...if he feels the necessity to call it something he will ask. let us know how it goes n good luck :smile:

Reply 8

jay1234

1

i hate calling someone my girlfriend talking to other people, we are actually going out together and I think shes the business but it seems a bit full on saying shes mine

Reply 9

lostinfantasies

2

My boyfriend uses it really protectively :biggrin:

. He'll be like "that's MY girlfriend" and be all dead proud, etc. :biggrin:

. There's some girl after him who I'm ready to just KILL and I've always wanted to say to her "look, b***h, that's MY boyfriend, get lost".

On the "when" front, we said it as soon as we established we were together. We asked each other out at the same time (heee), both said yes, and he was all cute and sort of went "oh my god, you're my girlfriend now" and from then on, we occasionally just literally call each other "The Boyfriend" and "The Girlfriend". Partially because we both can't quite believe it (we were initially best friends and for us to actually BE together like this...it feels strange, slightly!).

Reply 10

xlouisedoll

16

I wouldn't refer to someone as my boyfriend if I was only seeing them - technically, they're not you're boyfriend are they? I only really count it as when you're officially a couple that they're your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

I was seeing a girl not too long ago and friends began to referr to her as my gf as we were hanging out a lot, sleeping in eachother's beds, etc. I never called her my gf but it was beginning to feel like we were perhaps, I don't know... 'official'?

Then one night we were out, having a few drinks. Someone had asked her if she was my gf and suddenly she freaked and got very annoyed at me. I then had to explain to her that I had never referred to her as my gf and that people do assume things. It kind of annoyed me that she didn't see us as a couple, despite how we pretty much obviously were. I guess she had her reasons though.

The really weird thing is, how do you referr to someone you were seeing but we're technically 'official' but now no longer see? For all technical purposes I would suppose they were your ex, but if you weren't official, despite how close you got, what do you define them as?

Reply 12

Nutter

16

Ask him/her if it's official now.

That innocence and sincerity in your voice will surely melt his/her heart, if everything else is going well.

Maybe I'm being too idealistic, but that'd be sweet!

Reply 13

xlouisedoll

16

Anonymous

The really weird thing is, how do you referr to someone you were seeing but we're technically 'official' but now no longer see? For all technical purposes I would suppose they were your ex, but if you weren't official, despite how close you got, what do you define them as?

A fling maybe? Not sure actually - that is a baffling one!

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

lol i love this! me and my boyfriend were seeing eachother for around a month, and i quite honestly did not think about when it would be 'official' etc. Until one night when we were out, he got really upset with me telling me he wanted to go out with me properly but he was confused cos i hadnt said anything about it, was really sweet!.. but anyhoo, we're going out with eachother now so it's all good :p:

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

lol i love this! me and my boyfriend were seeing eachother for around a month, and i quite honestly did not think about when it would be 'official' etc. Until one night when we were out, he got really upset with me telling me he wanted to go out with me properly but he was confused cos i hadnt said anything about it, was really sweet!.. but anyhoo, we're going out with eachother now so it's all good :p:

Reply 16

Anonymous #4

My "ex" (It hardly lasted!) sent me a text message one night. We'd been "seeing" each other for about 2 weeks, he'd gone home for xmas, and before he'd gone I asked "whats happening with us?" my reply being "We'll see after xmas.." how gutted was I!? then about a week later, when he was really drunk, he sent me a message saying "I think we're going out now, don't you?" then just started referring to me as his girlfriend... :-) but then he dumped me just a few weeks later... haha

Reply 17

notsoperfect

1

when you feel the time is right, just say, "i'd love it if you were my boy/girlfriend". my boyfriend said this and i said, "me too", and that was that :smile:

Reply 18

Ross_j

9

on thursdays and sundays at 8.16

Reply 19

HereFishyFishy

13

Just go with the flow. You kind of just know, from my experience.

Or alternatively, you can do what I did with my current relationship: slur at them when absolutely hammered "Arrrrre yooou my booyfrd noow?"

When to call them boyfriend/girlfriend?

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