Fiancee leaving area soon to live away...

where are you currently living? anyway she can come live with you there

You move in together if engaged, if not you consider breaking it off. I would never get engaged to a girl only to live separately, and I am sound of mind

Basically, I still live with my parents as I can't afford to move out just yet. Mind you, I've lived at my family home for far too long (as a mature student at age 24).

She has been pretty much staying with me for the last fortnight (my mum doesn't mind) because she is working for my mum in my workplace.

On the other hand, when she isn't at mine, she is still renting a privately owned student flat, for which she soon leaves because the contract ends.

See, we are both soon-to-be graduates with little money. She is leaving the area to move in with her Father in his home in a big city- for more opportunity and a fresh start (she lived with her mother prior to uni).

The plan was/is for me to basically follow her, and move in the same area, perhaps house-sit or something whilst I save for a flat of our own.

Problem is, im so stressed with the logistics of it all. I still have some uni work to do (as I was granted mitigation over summer to do resits- med condition). So I am in limbo, because I cannot apply for grad jobs yet. Nor, do I know how long I'll be here in my current location, soon I don't want to leave my part time job despite it being ****.

I am all over the place...

firstly do your best to destress. i d say wait till you get your degree grade and then there shouldnt be much stopping you applying for jobs in the area in which your fiancee is moving too and just stick with your part time job you currently have till then.
Once you find employment and can find half a deposit then i recon you ll be fine moving in together, you ve just got to try and get through it until then.

my partner and i moved to a new nicer flat together earlier this year, we re both students and went into our overdrafts to find the deposit but it was well worth it to get a lovely new place together, so just hang in there until you find a few hundred pounds. have you any savings currently or a student overdraft at all?

Yeah, I think I will just try and apply for a min wage job in the city, then, when my degree grade is released I will go for a job in my field.

I don't have a overdraft and never have. My fiancee has, but she is currently looking to pay hers off soon. I have no savings to date, however, I still live off the remnants of my student finance which keeps me going. I suppose I could put a bit of money aside from my part time job. I currently also receive private therapy also which is costly-- but a necessity for me.

I'll try and see how it plays out. I currently have applied for about two jobs, but it wasn't really a focused or targeted effort. Its so tiresome

Putting aside money from your part time job would be a good idea. have you checked to see if you can buy any health insurance that may cover your therapy? unlikely but worth a try. is there anything you currently pay for that you dont need or anything you own but dont use much?

Ignoring the fact that she asked you, where true love exists, money doesn't come into it

Again, close relationships are supposed to take the edge off stress, rather than provide a source of complication, and there shouldn't really be a need to 'try' to be closer to a person you are engaged to. I could be mistaken but I sense that this proposal/acceptance was premature for you both

Been there, hence tended to be non-committal when it came to girls, never know what was going on with my studies vs. location ~ contact and coms

I'd explore this avenue but also try to think of others if possible

Good stuff, keep at it, we only get one life, so get the max out of it!

Hi all,

I am feeling a little bit emotional right now and 'all over the place'.

Basically my partner, with whom I've been with for about a year (just over if you count our prior relationship) throughout university, is going home to live with her father.

I don't know how to cope without her. I have lots of other background issues (emotional issues, depression and anxiety)-- I often find it hard to cope.


I am supposed to be moving out with her and getting a place of our own. But due to logistics, not having much money etc, it may be a slower process. I need to get a good paying job, and since we're both graduates we're both starting off in life.

What can I do to cope and pass the time?

p.s. I still have some work to be doing (uni related to complete degree), but my mind is all over.

Are you sure you're engaged? Who gets engaged to someone that they don't stay with?

Yes we are together, and indeed, 'engaged'!

We just don't live together at this moment in time. Due to the fact we are both students, have little money. When we got engaged we had the money to get rings et cetera. We just are not in a position to afford to rent/buy a place of our own currently.

Why are you engaged? I mean seriously, this sounds like a bad decision and you'll break up.