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Do I have the right to be annoyed?
My girlfriend has decided that she will be spending her 20th birthday with her (ex) boyfriend. She's asured me that 'I have nothing to worried about'
She says that she wants to have 'fun' and try new things, as in get really drunk 'take drugs' and smoke weed. I can't believe that she wants to do this! She only eats organic food, so you can see how health concious she is.
We don't live in the same city, but only a couple of days ago she came up see me for my birthday. She said that she doesn't want to 'have a crap birthday coming up to mine and won't have me going to stay with her' as she says that where I live there's nothing to do (ironic, as the twice she's come to see me, she's raved about how lovely it is), and where she lives 'she doesn't want to stay there for her birthday'.
We've been together 2 years and I flipped when she told me, but she said I was so immature for being against it. Last year I took her on holiday for a few days but this year I can't take off more than friday to sunday, so I don't know what to do. I don't want to 'ruin' her bday, as she always been used to been taken on holiday for them.
What do you suggest?
She says that she wants to have 'fun' and try new things, as in get really drunk 'take drugs' and smoke weed. I can't believe that she wants to do this! She only eats organic food, so you can see how health concious she is.
We don't live in the same city, but only a couple of days ago she came up see me for my birthday. She said that she doesn't want to 'have a crap birthday coming up to mine and won't have me going to stay with her' as she says that where I live there's nothing to do (ironic, as the twice she's come to see me, she's raved about how lovely it is), and where she lives 'she doesn't want to stay there for her birthday'.
We've been together 2 years and I flipped when she told me, but she said I was so immature for being against it. Last year I took her on holiday for a few days but this year I can't take off more than friday to sunday, so I don't know what to do. I don't want to 'ruin' her bday, as she always been used to been taken on holiday for them.
What do you suggest?
Scroll to see replies
Yes, you do.
From what you've said it seems like she's not interested in you anymore. She's also been incredibly rude with you. She's insulted you, your lifestyle and your personality. I'd be very wary, and if this were me I'd have left her by now.
From what you've said it seems like she's not interested in you anymore. She's also been incredibly rude with you. She's insulted you, your lifestyle and your personality. I'd be very wary, and if this were me I'd have left her by now.
Why
Yes, you do.
From what you've said it seems like she's not interested in you anymore. She's also been incredibly rude with you. She's insulted you, your lifestyle and your personality. I'd be very wary, and if this were me I'd have left her by now.
From what you've said it seems like she's not interested in you anymore. She's also been incredibly rude with you. She's insulted you, your lifestyle and your personality. I'd be very wary, and if this were me I'd have left her by now.
We've just had a couple of weeks together before the start of uni, and they were lovely and I'm sure she loves me more now than ever.
But what can I suggest we do for her birthday, so that she doesn't go and stay with him instead? It makes me really sad as she went through a period of ignoring him (three days, which is more than she's ever previously managed), then arguing with him (on msn until 7 in the morning), and now him wanting to be 'best friends'. They live further away by far than I and her do.
Just because I can't (i'm studying) go and visit her every day or every other day (last term I did), why does she have to find her 'fun and hapiness' elsewhere?
its completly out of line for her to firstly say all of that and secondly do what she wants to do.. how dare she want to spend it with her ex... and then tell you to not come down.. thats not on my friend... i suggest you tell her so and do something about it... id get rid myself.. not worth the effort if she's going to be treating you like that
welshandy
its completly out of line for her to firstly say all of that and secondly do what she wants to do.. how dare she want to spend it with her ex... and then tell you to not come down.. thats not on my friend... i suggest you tell her so and do something about it... id get rid myself.. not worth the effort if she's going to be treating you like that
well I have said that it's unfair and that it makes me sad, but that's my immatureness for thinking about myself and not thinking about her happiness. Admittedly, if she came up to mine it might not be Las Vegas, but I'd do my best to make a nice time. And if i went to hers we equally could have a happy time, but she wants to have hardcore fun (by getting very drunk and going clubbing). I get really worried when she tells me that the last time she went to see him she got so drunk she couldn't stand and then someone spiked their drink. We could easily have fun where she lives and go to clubs too (it's a big city)... but apparently it's too much hassle to get a taxi back, and not a 8 hour journey to see him??!
Can anyone think of some sort of compromise?
Ouch, she's rude.
Anonymous
My girlfriend has decided that she will be spending her 20th birthday with her (ex) boyfriend. She's asured me that 'I have nothing to worried about'
She says that she wants to have 'fun' and try new things, as in get really drunk 'take drugs' and smoke weed. I can't believe that she wants to do this! She only eats organic food, so you can see how health concious she is.
What do you suggest?
She says that she wants to have 'fun' and try new things, as in get really drunk 'take drugs' and smoke weed. I can't believe that she wants to do this! She only eats organic food, so you can see how health concious she is.
What do you suggest?
Do this:
1 - Dump, unapologetically.
2 - Excommunicate - delete/block from email/phone/msn/facebook/myspace.
3 - Reassess your passions and goals.
4 - Go out and meet newbies who share your passions.
5 - If at all tempted, only agree to meet with her once you're dating other women.
6 - Years in the future, have a last laugh by sending the weirdo a wedding invitation with a false venue and then sending a retraction letter a day later, citing an administrative error with the ****-filter.
And do all of it with the unwavering confidence that you're improving your life.
Can someone explain to me how going out and getting so drunk you can't walk is fun? (Likewise the drugs, etc?) 'cos I just don't get that at all.
She's not being fair on you, ok, yes, it's her birthday, she should do what she wants, but if she doesn't want to see her b/f on her birthday, it sounds like she doesn't want you. Tell her that if that's the way she feels, then that's fine with you and tell her to not expect to ever hear from you again because she blatently doesn't want to see or hear from you anyway.
And don't back down from that when she starts trying to guilt trip you.
She's not being fair on you, ok, yes, it's her birthday, she should do what she wants, but if she doesn't want to see her b/f on her birthday, it sounds like she doesn't want you. Tell her that if that's the way she feels, then that's fine with you and tell her to not expect to ever hear from you again because she blatently doesn't want to see or hear from you anyway.
And don't back down from that when she starts trying to guilt trip you.
I agree with Ron Stoppable.
Why are you turning a blind eye towards her actions? Everything you've described here is completely crazy for a person who supposedly 'loves you' to say. If you loved someone wouldn't you want to spend your birthday with them? Regardless of where they lived? Honestly, I'm just saying this so you can realise that she's not as interested in you as you think. She wouldn't be saying such rude things to you, nevermind the fact that she wants to spend her birthday with her ex-boyfriend.
Why are you turning a blind eye towards her actions? Everything you've described here is completely crazy for a person who supposedly 'loves you' to say. If you loved someone wouldn't you want to spend your birthday with them? Regardless of where they lived? Honestly, I'm just saying this so you can realise that she's not as interested in you as you think. She wouldn't be saying such rude things to you, nevermind the fact that she wants to spend her birthday with her ex-boyfriend.
yossarianlives
Ouch, she's rude.
you have the right to be.
HeadShock
yes indeed, she is being totally immature and i think you need to talk to her
HeadShock
if she inten[d]s to ignore you then she is obviously not interested in you anymore. sorry
You have the right to be annoyed, but try to look from her perspective. Maybe she finds it hard letting you go out and wander. I mean, theres a possibility you might be overprotective when you grow up to be a mum,and your child might be on this very forum creating a thread about you..
rawkingpunkster
You have the right to be annoyed, but try to look from her perspective. Maybe she finds it hard letting you go out and wander. I mean, theres a possibility you might be overprotective when you grow up to be a mum,and your child might be on this very forum creating a thread about you..
What exactly are you talking about?
I think the poster may be replying to the wrong thread...
She's not just being rude, I think she's being a bit vindictive. She's the immature one; even if she thinks all that there is no need to say it with so little tact, and by telling you you're immature I think she's trying to make you feel guilty about something you haven't even done! It's things like this that show what a person is really like- I'd get rid, but explain how she's hurt you, turn the tables and make her feel a bit rubbish.
rawkingpunkster
You have the right to be annoyed, but try to look from her perspective. Maybe she finds it hard letting you go out and wander. I mean, theres a possibility you might be overprotective when you grow up to be a mum,and your child might be on this very forum creating a thread about you..
I don't go out and 'wander' as you put. I don't dream of doing anything that doesn't concern her first.
Anonymous
I don't go out and 'wander' as you put. I don't dream of doing anything that doesn't concern her first.
Okay, To prevent you from being hurt by this any further, stop loving her. It may seem hard, but it will literally destroy you if she leaves you and you still do and by the looks of it, you do.
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