The Student Room Group

Is it a bad idea to do it with him?

I am 19 and I am still a virgin due to my parents being ridiculously strict :rolleyes: they would never even let me have a boyfriend! Recently, I met a boy who I really liked, he's the same age as me and well, he's cute :wink: However, I know darn well that he is only after one thing! There is no way I can change this attitude and I know it. However, we have talked about sex and I would really like to do it with him even though he doesn't love me. I would be doing it because he's attractive and I know I'd have fun with him. Even though I may have made him sound like a jerk by saying he's only after one thing, he's not actually nasty, he'd be gentle with me.

Is this a bad idea? I mean, my mother always says that girls should wait until they're married and in love but I'm frustrated, I really want sex! Should I go ahead or is it stupid?

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Reply 1
So you want your first time to be with someone who is using you for sex? It's your body so I suppose you can do what you like with it.
My first time was a bit like that, I wish I could go back and change it.

Don't make the mistake I did.

To be honest, if you know, you know, you don't need people here to tell you when or when not to sleep with someone, only do it because your ready. If you need people to answer that question, do you really think your ready?
Reply 3
To be honest, if you're having doubts already then think how you might feel after? Just supposing you sleep with this guy and then you meet someone a while after who you really like and likes you back and then you wish your first time was with someone else instead? As BlackHawk says, it's your decision, but think carefully before having sex just because you don't want to be a virgin anymore. 19 isn't that old!
Reply 4
Don't do it just to rebel. What's the rush? Make sure it's right cause you only get to do it once :smile:
Reply 5
If you see your virginity as a massive thing and only plan to sleep with 1 person in your whole life like alot of people on this board dont. If you are a bit more relaxed about sex on a whole and dont see it as the biggest thing in the world, do it
Reply 6
I am kinda relaxed about sex. I think it would be nice when I met someone special for me to have already had some experience so I could pleasure him really well. Boys sleep around all the time, why can't girls?
you will regret it afterwards trust me. stop being a rebel, no one thinks ure cool...as u can tell from this thread.
Reply 8
Because you'd get known for sleeping around which isn't a good thing is it :rolleyes:
Reply 9
I wouldn't get known for sleeping around if it was like, just one guy...I'm not doing it to be a rebel either. I'm doing it because he's hot and I fancy him and I feel like it. Is that so wrong? Isn't there anyone who sees where I'm coming from? It's not like I'm 15 and I wanna have sex to be cool. I'm grown up and I think I'd enjoy it, I just wanted to know if that's a good enough reason to have sex?
Reply 10
Well, since your asking... I would say it is a terrible idea. Not a good idea. I am not saying wait for marrige because that is ridiculous. Just wait until you at least like the guy, or better yet, he like you. When you find someone you like, you can get all the practice you need with him lol!! But, it is up to you really. You only got one shot for this one. After you lose it, it's gone. It should have some meaning you know? After that, you can sleep around with who ever you want lol! (also not a good idea) lol! But have fun for sure :biggrin:
Reply 11
Also, what is so special about 'the first time'? When you meet someone you love (as I will one day) the first time with that person will always be special even if it's not your first time ever, right?
Reply 12
Anonymous
I just wanted to know if that's a good enough reason to have sex?


That's up to you. Why are you arguing with people about it? If you want to do it, then do it.
Anonymous
I am kinda relaxed about sex. I think it would be nice when I met someone special for me to have already had some experience so I could pleasure him really well. Boys sleep around all the time, why can't girls?


If this is the OP, first point, the first time you have sex as a female, it isn't going to be good for YOU (rule of thumb). Its going to hurt to some extent, thats why most people find someone who they love and trust to grow (no pun I assure you) in that way.
The chances of you bearing the pain enough to actually pleasure him are minimal, then again getting guys to come is fairly simple, even without sex.

Second in blue, that is set by society to be honest. If guys sleep around they are considered 'awesome' by other guys. You will be more respected and have more respect for yourself if you waited. Its worth it.
Anonymous
I wouldn't get known for sleeping around if it was like, just one guy...I'm not doing it to be a rebel either. I'm doing it because he's hot and I fancy him and I feel like it. Is that so wrong? Isn't there anyone who sees where I'm coming from? It's not like I'm 15 and I wanna have sex to be cool. I'm grown up and I think I'd enjoy it, I just wanted to know if that's a good enough reason to have sex?


Not really if you know he doesn't love you he'd just be using you i'd wait until that special someone who you know loves you come along.:smile:
You need ask this on a forum?


When did people stop thinking for themselves...... :rolleyes:
Reply 16
Yeah...but I'm nearly 20, if I'm still a virgin then that's gonna make me not fit in at uni isn't it? Loads of people sleep around with everyone and I'll just be like, a virgin...if anyone found out they'd think I was a freak.
Reply 17
Anonymous
Yeah...but I'm nearly 20, if I'm still a virgin then that's gonna make me not fit in at uni isn't it? Loads of people sleep around with everyone and I'll just be like, a virgin...if anyone found out they'd think I was a freak.


Yeah... totally.

You've clearly made your mind up so I still don't get why you're asking for help. If you're asking for social acceptance then you won't get it no matter what you do; virgin or slut.
Anonymous
Yeah...but I'm nearly 20, if I'm still a virgin then that's gonna make me not fit in at uni isn't it? Loads of people sleep around with everyone and I'll just be like, a virgin...if anyone found out they'd think I was a freak.


Actually, I'm at uni with a 20 year old virgin female. Me and her are good mates and she acts no different with guys then any other girl, at nightclubs or at the SU bar.

The one thing that really sepearates her from my girlfriend is that she has a hymen? Seriously, being a virgin is no big deal to other people unless their too imature or stupid. At nearly 20 and at uni, being a virgin should be one of the least of your worries. (thinking essays, revision, deadlines, lectures, classes, study groups...)
Reply 19
Anonymous
Yeah...but I'm nearly 20, if I'm still a virgin then that's gonna make me not fit in at uni isn't it? Loads of people sleep around with everyone and I'll just be like, a virgin...if anyone found out they'd think I was a freak.


that is bull ****! no one is going to think ur a freak. if anything, they will think ur awesome for waiting. it is tough. and if everyone was jumping of a cliff, would you do the same? who cares what EVERYONE is doing. but honestly, if ppl are giving u advice, and you just keep saying, but i want to... well then do it. it is your life, u will face the consequences is all. i can see that u want it over and done with, and since that is the case, then just do it and get it over with. then tell us how you feel.