Anyone?

Warning: long story.

Started working in a bar about a month and a half ago or so now, got on well with everyone as usual. Liked a girl but didn't pursue it, 'cause I never do. Talking away getting to know her really well on a friendly basis with a hint of flirting going on, still not pursuing it.

She then asks for my number, this is the first thing- personally I wouldn't ask for other peoples number unless I had intent, but what about girls, do they just see it as being friends? So anyway, texting away- not too much because I'm playing it cool. People notice we're closer than they expect- as I've just started working there and what-not; hinting at us again.

While in work Greg asks if I've got a girlfriend (hinting at me and her flirting) to which I respond no, and asks her if she has a boyfriend, to which she says yes. OK then, it's just friendly flirting- fair enough. Work night out comes- Amanda and Megan both try it on with me, I don't take either of them up on it- because, somewhat secretly (though everyone can tell 'cause I'm not good at hiding emotions), I'm holding out for Christine. Nothing happens 'cause she's still got a boyfriend- obviously.

So, a week or so later [just before New Year] she's texting away and all's jolly; then she asks who it is that I like from work. At first I neglect to tell her because of the usual complications it causes but eventually I tell her it's her. She seems to respond ok, but still has a boyfriend. New Years day comes and she dumps him. Me being an arrogant sod I take it as she's interested... So, I ask her out and she says she's not wanting a relationship just yet- fair play, she either a) doesn't want a relationship right then, b) is playing hard to get and wants me to try harder or c) is letting me down gently.

I take it as option b but don't go overboard. But then things go awkward and silent in work, and I decide to just play it as friends. Another night out gets planned last Friday (payday) and for days before it she keeps texting me persistently asking where I'm going; ''wherever I'm not or whatever lol'' says she, as there was going to be two different parties going out to different places. I'm working on that night so I got ready in work- and while I'm getting ready they all decide we're going to the same place.

We goes out and I'm the only guy, bar Jon who was only having one, so they all get a taxi into town but me and C get a ride with J. We gets there and she's acting like nothing's happened- being nice again; one drink so that can't be used as an excuse. She leans on my knee whenever she gets up to dance, is sitting beside me with plenty of space but decides to touch my knee with hers etc etc- all the usual crap that I'm perfectly attuned to notice.

While we're in the pub M comes up and says that C had told her at the bar that she wanted me to make the first move, I thought she was just being meddlesome and didn't bother. We then moved onto the club and en route Laura said, while C is walking next to me, that we are an item. C replied ''No we're not!'' then turns to me and says ''just joking'', then links her arm with me- but then proceeds to walk to the club like that, rather than let go... We get into the club and everything's fine, having a decent time, still only on my third or fourth pint and she's only had about two or three WKD's- so neither of us are drunk, and the conversation turns to her 'not wanting to lead me on', which is why she said that she didn't go out with me.

She then asks about the girl I'm kinda seeing [not yet, but just in the run-up stages], Kara, because she keeps texting me. I tell her we're not actually seeing each other but yeah, I like her. She then says ''So you're single... And I'm single...'' then leans over and kisses me neck and looks away. I'm pretty much taken aback from this, 'cause she turned me down- but go with the flow, she comments on me not dancing with her because she's been asking all night- so I agree to go dance.

We're about to go onto the dance floor and she says she's gonna pop to the loo, fair enough says me, and I'm just standing chilling at the fruit machines- looking away from the direction of the toilets. I didn't see her come out, but she comes out and starts rubbing noses, then kisses me- and we're with each other for the rest of the night. So, had a great night all in. Goes into work on the Saturday, not hungover just tired and she's put her hair up the way I've complimented her for wearing it before (like I said... I notice the smaller details with girls), and I compliment her again, letting her know that I've recognised it.

Things are fine, we're getting it a bit tight from everyone because it's the latest gossip but everything's ok. Then a couple of hours later the silece starts again. She finishes work at half nine, me half ten- she doesn't say bye and at half ten I get a text saying she doesn't know why she let herself but the ''spark'' to take it from friendship to a relationship, that I told her I felt, wasn't there. Leaving me pretty clueless to why she kissed me the night before- not only that but the fact that she seemed to plan it for a few days, constantly berating me about where I was going to go, and the fact she said she wanted me to make the first move.

We've not texted much since then except me wishing her good luck for her exams this week and her driving test today- to which she simply replied, hours later, thanks and she was just going to bed as she was tired- twice. I said to let me know how she got on today with her test and she texted me at half ten to say she'd failed again for something stupid, I replied just after saying hard luck and to just try again- then asked what it was she had done. I didn't get a reply.

I goes into work tonight, thinking she was off, to see her. She doesn't look my way atall then the silence is broken because I'm a happy chappy and we start talking away- we're talking for a minute when we're quiet and she says, as she has done in the past, ''Oh, I didn't text you back...''. Yeah, duh. Things are still pretty good at this point and she's talking away atleast semi-normal for a bit then when she's talking to M I walk over and am joining the conversation, they're talking about what's on at the cinema- she says that some new film that's out is crap, and M says who were you at the cinema with, she replies ''no-one'', obviously because I'm there and again, back to square one with her going silent. I didn't bother to look in her direction before I left --we both finished, along with J, at the same time-- I walked out and came home. This girl is seriously bugging me, and yet I can't help but like her.

Congrats if you've managed this far, I think that's everything! Anyone want to have a stab at her feelings? 'Cause I'm truly baffled!

Reply 1

goodmen

13

paragraphs

Reply 2

mc_hamster

1

Paragraphs are your friend.

Reply 3

djmm

OP

15

It was a on-the-spur thing, paragraphs weren't required.

Reply 4

mc_hamster

1

Well can you put them in? People may be more willing to read it if they don't see one huge block of text.

Reply 5

bone-machine

9

she's ****in' wid yo' head...hmmmmm, i dont know if i could be arsed,...how long was she with this last bf?...if they were together a long time she might just be looking to string a guy along for attention just so she doesnt feel single and alone, there is obviously a part of ehr that likes you but shes been dragging it out so long and had lots of opportunities..if she messes you around two more times i say give it up.

Reply 6

djmm

OP

15

Started working in a bar about a month and a half ago or so now, got on well with everyone as usual. Liked a girl but didn't pursue it, 'cause I never do. Talking away getting to know her really well on a friendly basis with a hint of flirting going on, still not pursuing it.

She then asks for my number, this is the first thing- personally I wouldn't ask for other peoples number unless I had intent, but what about girls, do they just see it as being friends? So anyway, texting away- not too much because I'm playing it cool. People notice we're closer than they expect- as I've just started working there and what-not; hinting at us again. While in work Greg asks if I've got a girlfriend (hinting at me and her flirting) to which I respond no, and asks her if she has a boyfriend, to which she says yes. OK then, it's just friendly flirting- fair enough.

Work night out comes- Amanda and Megan both try it on with me, I don't take either of them up on it- because, somewhat secretly (though everyone can tell 'cause I'm not good at hiding emotions), I'm holding out for Christine. Nothing happens 'cause she's still got a boyfriend- obviously. So, a week or so later [just before New Year] she's texting away and all's jolly; then she asks who it is that I like from work. At first I neglect to tell her because of the usual complications it causes but eventually I tell her it's her. She seems to respond ok, but still has a boyfriend.

New Years day comes and she dumps him. Me being an arrogant sod I take it as she's interested... So, I ask her out and she says she's not wanting a relationship just yet- fair play, she either a) doesn't want a relationship right then, b) is playing hard to get and wants me to try harder or c) is letting me down gently. I take it as option b but don't go overboard. But then things go awkward and silent in work, and I decide to just play it as friends.

Another night out gets planned last Friday (payday) and for days before it she keeps texting me persistently asking where I'm going; ''wherever I'm not or whatever lol'' says she, as there was going to be two different parties going out to different places. I'm working on that night so I got ready in work- and while I'm getting ready they all decide we're going to the same place. We goes out and I'm the only guy, bar Jon who was only having one, so they all get a taxi into town but me and C get a ride with J.

We gets there and she's acting like nothing's happened- being nice again; one drink so that can't be used as an excuse. She leans on my knee whenever she gets up to dance, is sitting beside me with plenty of space but decides to touch my knee with hers etc etc- all the usual crap that I'm perfectly attuned to notice. While we're in the pub M comes up and says that C had told her at the bar that she wanted me to make the first move, I thought she was just being meddlesome and didn't bother.

We then moved onto the club and en route Laura said, while C is walking next to me, that we are an item. C replied ''No we're not!'' then turns to me and says ''just joking'', then links her arm with me- but then proceeds to walk to the club like that, rather than let go... We get into the club and everything's fine, having a decent time, still only on my third or fourth pint and she's only had about two or three WKD's- so neither of us are drunk, and the conversation turns to her 'not wanting to lead me on', which is why she said that she didn't go out with me. She then asks about the girl I'm kinda seeing [not yet, but just in the run-up stages], Kara, because she keeps texting me. I tell her we're not actually seeing each other but yeah, I like her. She then says ''So you're single... And I'm single...'' then leans over and kisses me neck and looks away.

I'm pretty much taken aback from this, 'cause she turned me down- but go with the flow, she comments on me not dancing with her because she's been asking all night- so I agree to go dance. We're about to go onto the dance floor and she says she's gonna pop to the loo, fair enough says me, and I'm just standing chilling at the fruit machines- looking away from the direction of the toilets. I didn't see her come out, but she comes out and starts rubbing noses, then kisses me- and we're with each other for the rest of the night. So, had a great night all in.

Goes into work on the Saturday, not hungover just tired and she's put her hair up the way I've complimented her for wearing it before (like I said... I notice the smaller details with girls), and I compliment her again, letting her know that I've recognised it. Things are fine, we're getting it a bit tight from everyone because it's the latest gossip but everything's ok. Then a couple of hours later the silece starts again. She finishes work at half nine, me half ten- she doesn't say bye and at half ten I get a text saying she doesn't know why she let herself but the ''spark'' to take it from friendship to a relationship, that I told her I felt, wasn't there. Leaving me pretty clueless to why she kissed me the night before- not only that but the fact that she seemed to plan it for a few days, constantly berating me about where I was going to go, and the fact she said she wanted me to make the first move.

We've not texted much since then except me wishing her good luck for her exams this week and her driving test today- to which she simply replied, hours later, thanks and she was just going to bed as she was tired- twice. I said to let me know how she got on today with her test and she texted me at half ten to say she'd failed again for something stupid, I replied just after saying hard luck and to just try again- then asked what it was she had done. I didn't get a reply. I goes into work tonight, thinking she was off, to see her. She doesn't look my way atall then the silence is broken because I'm a happy chappy and we start talking away- we're talking for a minute when we're quiet and she says, as she has done in the past, ''Oh, I didn't text you back...''. Yeah, duh. Things are still pretty good at this point and she's talking away atleast semi-normal for a bit then when she's talking to M I walk over and am joining the conversation, they're talking about what's on at the cinema- she says that some new film that's out is crap, and M says who were you at the cinema with, she replies ''no-one'', obviously because I'm there and again, back to square one with her going silent.

I didn't bother to look in her direction before I left --we both finished, along with J, at the same time-- I walked out and came home. This girl is seriously bugging me, and yet I can't help but like her.

PARAGRAPHED.

Congrats if you've managed this far, I think that's everything! Anyone want to have a stab at her feelings? 'Cause I'm truly baffled!

Reply 7

djmm

OP

15

bone-machine

she's ****in' wid yo' head...hmmmmm, i dont know if i could be arsed,...how long was she with this last bf?...if they were together a long time she might just be looking to string a guy along for attention just so she doesnt feel single and alone, there is obviously a part of ehr that likes you but shes been dragging it out so long and had lots of opportunities..if she messes you around two more times i say give it up.

I'm aware she's playing with my head; it's whether she's doing it with intent or not that I'm having troubles working out! I mean, it's not like I'm not good-looking; just tonight in work I've had plenty of opportunities with hot girls- I just can't work out why she isn't playing fair. Another point perhaps worth noting: I am really arrogant, I don't try to hide it (though I am a soft and gentle soul too!) , so I expect girls to fall at my feet when I'm interested; because they did so when I treated them like ****- why the hell isn't she, when I'm treating her nice/ actually have genuine caring feelings towards her?

Reply 8

Spent

Looks like a waste of time to me. Sure there's always the possibility of something happening but how long will it take? Imho, try to move on, go with someone who isn't as confused and save yourself a whole bunch of hassle.

Reply 9

djmm

OP

15

Ugh. 10 posts and 5 are from me, I'd have thought it'd get atleast a little attention seeing as people are happy enough to reply to crap like ''My tooth has fell out- am I going to die!?!!''

Pretty lame...

Reply 10

Jonquil

10

sounds like shes just doing it for attention really. im sure she does like you as a friend, but she was probably just playing a game. i know its a bit of a cliched line, but all you can do is ask her what she wants. just try to be honest and polite, and let her know that shes got you confused. Maybe she'll see sense and let you know how shes really feeling. don't give up on her until you've spoken to her. x

Reply 11

katt_47

she probably just liked the chase but now that she's hooked up with you the fun's been taken out of it. Doesn't seem to me like she wants to start a relationship with you tbh :s you say you treated girls like crap and tbh you sound like one of those guys who's great for a drunken pull but smart girls wouldn't want to start a relationship with u... just my opinion

Reply 12

Philosoraptor

18

I personally wouldn't bother. She didn't think she liked you. Thought she did, and then realised maybe she didn't. She might even be just unsure, but she isn't sure so it's not worth it. Don't waste your time. See this Kara girl instead. :smile:

Reply 13

Louenn

She probably likes the fact that you like her. I know I've ended up attracted to guys because they're attracted to me, and the result has been that it's not worked out, and I've ended up feeling a complete bitch for messing with some poor bloke's head.

Avoid like plague, take up with Kara, and leave Christine to screw with someone else's heart.

Reply 14

djmm

OP

15

Jonquil1

sounds like shes just doing it for attention really. im sure she does like you as a friend, but she was probably just playing a game. i know its a bit of a cliched line, but all you can do is ask her what she wants. just try to be honest and polite, and let her know that shes got you confused. Maybe she'll see sense and let you know how shes really feeling. don't give up on her until you've spoken to her. x

I've been honest. I'm not one for hiding my feelings.

Reply 15

djmm

OP

15

katt_47

she probably just liked the chase but now that she's hooked up with you the fun's been taken out of it. Doesn't seem to me like she wants to start a relationship with you tbh :s you say you treated girls like crap and tbh you sound like one of those guys who's great for a drunken pull but smart girls wouldn't want to start a relationship with u... just my opinion

What you on about they wouldn't want to start a relationship with me? I'm absolutely perfect boyfriend material. Learn to read, I used to treat them like crap and they came running, that has absolutely no bearing on this and how she's acting- because I've been nice to her. Read again and you'll find that neither of us were drunk and that --atleast to me-- she had it planned for days, hence my confusion that she decided so soon afterwards that she just wants to be mates.

Reply 16

djmm

OP

15

Philosoraptor

I personally wouldn't bother. She didn't think she liked you. Thought she did, and then realised maybe she didn't. She might even be just unsure, but she isn't sure so it's not worth it. Don't waste your time. See this Kara girl instead. :smile:

Ha. And there starts another confusing set of circumstances! Met her a bit back and pulled her then didn't text her for ages, as per. Started texting away but I forget exactly what she looks like; I do know, however, from just texting her, that she is absolutely perfect- on the personality front. Asked her out on Monday and she weasled out of it saying she had to go to Uni (she did, but still) and then asked her again for today and she said she's working. I said that she's making excuses- though even when she's saying no I can't help but laugh because she's just such a funny chick, and she says ''no hurry, I'm not going anywhere'' and ''how about next week, no excuses except wed lol''- she's another one, not so much messing with, but playing with my head! Bloody girls... Life would be so much easier without them, ofcourse if I was happy enough without them...

Reply 17

djmm

OP

15

Louenn

She probably likes the fact that you like her. I know I've ended up attracted to guys because they're attracted to me, and the result has been that it's not worked out, and I've ended up feeling a complete bitch for messing with some poor bloke's head.

Avoid like plague, take up with Kara, and leave Christine to screw with someone else's heart.

Yep, I deleted her number from my phone last night-- but somehow thought that she'd text me at some point, since I left without talking to/ looking at her, so I made it pretty obvious that she's ****ed me off.

Anyway, just felt like getting something of an insight into what others thought- since I've no idea. Christine can get ****ed! :smile:

Reply 18