Your last relationships is more important than your first

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
To everyone struggling with he past.

Recently I have been dwelling on the past a bit too much. It has taken me years to really get over what happened with my first love. He left me after months of neglecting me and things just not working properly. I blamed myself for years, thought back on things which were said, cringed, told myself I had hurt him too much, that I was the one who acted wrongly. Im sure i was at fault too, but I was young and didn't understand how to properly conduct myself in a relationship- even so the way I acted was a reaction to his change in his behaviour towards me.

Now, I am 2 years into a relationship with a wonderful man- we are talking about getting married and having children. I have already spent double the time with him than I did my first. He loves me so much more and really shows it. He is there for me, protects me, appreciates all I do for him...he is truly wonderful.
Yet, through it all it was shadowed by my memories of the first guy. It's time for that to stop.

Your first love will always be important to you, because that is our first experience of love - its new, powerful, life changing. The first attachment we have in our lives. But the majority do not end up with that first love- and I bet, if we were to go back and be with them now it wouldn't feel the same.
Things are different. We are all different. New loves may not have the addictive buzz .. but they have a depth you will never have reached with your first. You are older now, more mature- you understand the world better- there is less mystery. Maybe that's why things tend to last longer these days - there is less distraction, less over emotion.

It's time to make a stand - to really focus and love the person who is in your life now who loves you.Don't look back to the times of old, the daydreams you have about the past. It was a lesson in life, something you will never forget...but it is not the present and most importantly ... its not your future.

They may be with someone else now, and sure it will feel weird, like someone has replaced you- that their family might even like them more than you is hard to take. But remember, that's not your life any more. It's good they found someone, and maybe the new person will be a better match... like your current is today. Thank them for giving you a step into being able to feel love that way, and letting you find what it is that makes relationships tick... or break.

Live your life for the present, and the future. Because that is what is important. Life moves on- get involved with your new story and store away the old. Look forward to the new chapters with someone who really truly cherishes you. Be bold, be brave - love with no restraints, don't let your past tarnish the excitement and the joy of the life left to come.

Time heals all wounds. Life may be hard for some of you right now - but one day you can look back and understand why things happened the way they did.

You are braver than you can ever imagine.
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JBlad
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#2
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Powerful, but very true, I was hung up over my first love for a few months even and I realised I couldn't be with her but I Just didn't want to be with anyone else, and now I've realised things worked out for the best and I'm happier for it life is about meeting new people and enjoying the experiences, even a career is just a pathway to enable you to do that
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kickboxer 98
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#3
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So true, i was hung up on mine for ages, we still talk but only when he wants money or help with school, although he will always be special to me, i know that new love with better guys is better and way more important!! xxx
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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I struggled with mine for 4 years, it was a hard slog! But Ive suddenly come to realise how pointless it is, and that I owe it to my current to be totally focussed on him. Its not that I want my ex back as such - I just have so many regrets, guilt and what ifs hanging over me from the past; I guess i was still angry with myself. But it's time to stop now; its just silly now.
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