I have an issue - scared of having a night on the town?

Hi. Recently I think I'm developing a bit of a problem, and I cant really think of how to overcome it.
I'm increasingly scared of spending a night out on the town with all of my uni friends. I always hear stories of people getting mugged/stabbed/beaten up for no reason - it seems that everyone knows someone who has had something terrible happen to them in the city at night.
How can I overcome this fear? I keep telling my friends that I'm busy or too tired or whatever, but I cant just keep telling them that!

I hate being like this. Any advice welcome.

Reply 1

Juno

20

Make sure you're safe. Know how you're getting home, and if necessary book a taxi beforehand. Don't do stupid things like walk on your own or use unlit routes. Take an attack alarm if you think it would make you feel safer - many unis will give them away for free, but if yours don't they're not that expensive anyway.

And wear shoes with a lowish heel and an ankle strap. They're better for running in if necessary.

Reply 2

wiggles

2

Do all the above things. As long as you don't do anything stupid, you're likely to be fine. You could worry about getting hit by a bus and never go out anywhere. Just think about all the people who go out several nights a week and are fine. Being scared that something bad's going to happen is just silly as it will stop you ever having any fun. As long as you trust the friends you're going out with, there's no need to worry.

Reply 3

ISH

9

Speak softly and carry a big stick. Not exactly the original definition but you get the idea.

Reply 4

Juwel

18

Make sure every other drink is non-alcoholic. That way you'll still have your wits about you when your friends are drunk. Best way to subtly pull strings in your favour, and somehow ensure your safety.

Reply 5

Anthonyjm71

9

Juwel

Make sure every other drink is non-alcoholic. That way you'll still have your wits about you when your friends are drunk. Best way to subtly pull strings in your favour, and somehow ensure your safety.

This is a senseable course of action sensible to follow this advice.

Reply 6

WokSz

17

I had that fear too, but as long as you stay in an area that's not dangerous and don't look for fights, everything will be fine. Also, stay away from loud, drunk people. They tend to get this 'false courage' you get after drinking a lot, and will look for brawls.

Reply 7

theonehitwonder

2

If you're cautious and always with your friends, then it's more than likely that nothing will happen. I'm assuming of course that you're a girl.

Reply 8

Yoda

12

I'd drink before you go out. Then when you're leaving/out you won't be bothered. If you're a guy, go to the gym and get big. If you're female, get some big friends to go out with. Rowers usually dont drink too, so that might help.

Reply 9

Segat1

16

Yoda

I'd drink before you go out. Then when you're leaving/out you won't be bothered. If you're a guy, go to the gym and get big. If you're female, get some big friends to go out with. Rowers usually dont drink too, so that might help.

Rowers are the biggest pissheads ever!

Reply 10

PoisonDonna

14

I had this a couple of years ago, when I was 16. My best friend and our boyfriends went out for a chinese and the bus home was an hour away, so we went to sit on the prom for a bit. We were happily chatting away then about 6 pissed chav girls came up asking if we'd "started on their mate", when they blatently knew we hadn't.
The shortened story, the girls start hitting me and my best friend, her boyfriend pulls her out but I'm left.
I wasn't all that hurt really but I was still far too scared of going into Town at night (and sometimes in the day) for a while. After enough times though you realise that really, nothing is going to happen, and now no-one can stop me going out!

Hope you can sort it out, just try not to think about it too much,

Reply 11

Yoda

12

Segat1

Rowers are the biggest pissheads ever!

Not the ones I know. I guess they take rowing too seriously "I can't drink, have to have a good diet" and ****. Thats pretty much why I quit. Spending all my time rowing + no social life doesn't appeal to me. Hopefully it'll change in uni.

Reply 12

puppy

Juno

Make sure you're safe. Know how you're getting home, and if necessary book a taxi beforehand. Don't do stupid things like walk on your own or use unlit routes. Take an attack alarm if you think it would make you feel safer - many unis will give them away for free, but if yours don't they're not that expensive anyway.

And wear shoes with a lowish heel and an ankle strap. They're better for running in if necessary.

That's all well and good if you actually live in a dangerous area (which we don't 100% know the OP does), but in terms of simply perceiving something as dangerous I don't think it's a very good idea to prepare yourself for being attacked.

You should be vigilant and not put yourself in excessive danger but planning escape routes, clothes to fight and run in, and alarms to sound whilst someone is raping you only serve to reinforce your own fear about these situations.

There is a happy medium to be found between lying drunk in a gutter in a back alley and disrupting your whole evening by planning ways to get out of the mugging that's definitely going to happen.

Reply 13

jumpinglunch

13

just be confident and look in to every persons eyes when you see them.
muggers/chavs only make trouble with people they think will be scared.
Also should be with a few mates,a person alone is an easier target,than 3or4 people togther.

Reply 14

Zoecb

11

Which town?

Reply 15

Segat1

16

Yoda

Not the ones I know. I guess they take rowing too seriously "I can't drink, have to have a good diet" and ****. Thats pretty much why I quit. Spending all my time rowing + no social life doesn't appeal to me. Hopefully it'll change in uni.

Oh, you're still at school. :rolleyes:

Boaties are pissheads at uni.

Reply 16

theonehitwonder

2

off topic, but the boaties at high school were pisspots.

Reply 17

Yoda

12

My school takes rowing seriously. Everyone wants to be GB rowers. Also, the only other rowers I see at parties are going for GB too. Quite funny watching them dance - its clear they've never been to a party in their life.

Reply 18

Crimson Black

13

Segat1

Oh, you're still at school. :rolleyes:

Boaties are pissheads at uni.

Reply 19

glance

17

I'm at uni in London and have had absolutely no trouble at all from anyone at all. If you follow the simple rule of bus/tube to club, enter club, have fun, leave club, take night bus home (possibly include a kebab shop visit in there) then there's limited opportunity for you to get in any trouble.

I have an issue - scared of having a night on the town?

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