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Disliking a "mutual" friend who is ALWAYS around

I'm good friends with a couple (they're bf & gf) and some of their friends, and lately there's a girl they've become friends with who hangs out with us either on her own or with the rest of our group. Me and her got along ok at the beginning but recently she has been really nasty to me, but not in front of the other people we hang out with. They're involved in sports here and I'm not so they have a lot to talk about from that point of view. Last night the guy was dropping me and her back to our halls and she was sitting in the front making a big show of how she had to talk to him privately (i.e. I was the 3rd wheel) and how she would call him on his mobile once we'd gotten out of the car to discuss whatever it was she couldn't possibly say in front of me. I didn't care either way so when we got to the hall I hopped out and said thanks for the lift and left the two of them to chat about this private thing. As I was walking up the drive she jumped out and slammed the door and came after me. We were waiting for the lift together and she started ranting about him to which I said something like "chill out it'll be alright tomorrow". She then went nuts saying I should f-off because I didn't know what anyone was talking about anyway and how it was none of my business bla bla. I took the stairs :mad:

She's always making catty remarks to me when we're out with the rest of the group and generally that's why I don't like her. I don't know what to do about it, or how to deal with her. It's getting to where I don't want to hang out with the group when she is there and as she is ALWAYS around it's kind of a problem. Any ideas?

Thanks much!

Reply 1

Segat1

Ignore her. Just be perfectly pleasant to her. She sounds like a simpleton.

Not much else I can say really.

Reply 2

always + forever

I guess you could to 3 things -

i. ignore her - try not to be alone with her. if you have to be, be pleasant, but disinterested. act like she is not getting to you and pretend you couldn't care less whether she likes you or not.

ii. talk to her about it - see if anyone else has noticed maybe (if you trust them not to speak to her). take her aside and say something like 'I noticed you seem to have a problem with me - but I'm not sure what I've done to upset you'. It's probably best to be reconcilatory, rather than confrontational, but that depends on whether she upsets you, or pisses you off.

iii. smack her out

Reply 3

Anthonyjm71

Ignore her tell her to go get lost or words to that effort if feeling harsh.

Reply 4

Misogynist

I think you're being abit too sensitive here.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Ignore her - peopole like her begin to grate on everyone's nerves after a while anyway, so just wait it out.

Reply 6

envious

I think underhand comments and little snipes here and there, are some of the cruelest tactics nasty people use to make someone else feel bad. This girl probably doesn't want to cause a full blown argument with you as she knows that ultimately everybody else will take your side as she is in the wrong.

Maybe an analysis of why she feels the need to act this way could help. Do you think it's because she genuinely just dislikes you or could it be deeper than that? Maybe she sees you as a threat to her friendships with other people as you are able to dsscuss other things with them. Maybe she feels insecure with you around. I guess there are a thousand and one reasons why she could act this way but once you can discover her motive you will be able to tackle the problem more effectively.

For now I guess you can choose to just avoid her, bvut I guess that's gonna be hard due to the fact that she's a mutual friend and always there. What about raising the issue with your other friends to hear what they have to say. Maybe it would be better to not make outright accusations about this girl but perhaps you could word it almost like "have you noticed X being a bit funny with me" If they say "no" then explain last nights events and just say that you don't knwo why she's done that. Your friends will surely sympathise with you or at the every least give you advise about what you could do.

Reply 7

Ywiss

Mylla

i. ignore her - try not to be alone with her. if you have to be, be pleasant, but disinterested. act like she is not getting to you and pretend you couldn't care less whether she likes you or not.

This is very good advice.

Reply 8

Sarky

I prefer the bitch slap route. Simple and effective.

Reply 9

Louenn

Kill her? JOKE!!!

You either need to confront the girl about this, and find out the reasons behind her attitude, or you have to ignore her.

It's probably more grown-up to try to sort out the problems, but she could throw that back in your face by bitching to everyone else that you think she's got a problem with you when can't they all see that you're the one with the problem.

Reply 10

Profesh

Louenn

Kill her? JOKE!!!

Wow. You certainly stuck your neck out with that one.

Reply 11

Louenn

Profesh

Wow. You certainly stuck your neck out with that one.

Just taking precautions... Don't want someone to take it seriously, and then use as their defence that they were told to do so by someone on an internet forum!

Reply 12

danni_bella

Urgh people like that are so rude! I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that, it's horrible :hugs:

*Kinda* know what you mean. I'm an extra on a local cheerleading team the girls are really catty towards me, like with their private jokes and stupid quotes to each other!! I can't even say anything most of the time, just have to perform.

This is how I deal with it though, the friend who introduced me to the team is really nice so whenever 'cattiest girl, typical blonde alpha female' tries to snob me off. I turn to my friend and tell her a joke, I laugh, she laughs, we go 'omfg that was soo funny!! :O Rofl', and they feel they're missing out :wink:

Trust me. Comedy... works :cool:

Seriously! Some of the best comedians/comediennes around are the result of bitchyness, strange hey. But cool.

Another thing you could do hunny is to get her by herself (warning! Only if game :cool:

I couldn't do this, would prefer to be with a friend), then be nice but say to her (after talking about the weather): 'so I've noticed you've been acting a bit suss around me, is there anything you'd like to tell me?' :smile:

And watch her crumble! She'll prolly feel guilty, but she should for being so irritating lol.

Anyway babes, must head to bed now (bit late where I live!) but hope all is well, speak to you soon (: xox

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