difficult things to tell my friend - help

If you knew you had a really difficult thing to tell your friend, how would you do it? My best friend's girlfriend has been going behind his back and blabbing about his personal, private business and he needs to know. He loves her very much and puts a lot of trust in her, but obviously shes been a bitch and made it into gossip. My mate is the kindest, most sensitive person I know and its going to be hard to tell it to his face. Any advice? I'm really really worried about it.

Reply 1

kylie88

1

either tell him that his gf has the biggest mouth ever, or tell her to stop bein such a bitch and keep his personal things PERSONAL

Reply 2

b9muslove

1

Warn your friend about this girlfriend. Your friend will really appreciate it if they are as kind and sensitive as you think :smile:

Reply 3

Shockley

OP

15

What about if I leave it till we've had a few quiet drinks, on our own then I say "theres something i need to tell you about somebody. you're not going to like it." or something like that, just to prepare him for bad news. I find I can tell people things when I've had a drink or two, i don't need to be blind drunk but I need to be relaxed or I'll only get upset. Argh so difficult, I don't want to upset him. I don't know how he'll take it.

Reply 4

wackysparkle

14

actuallly that wuld be agood move - let him relax a bit and then tell him dont just spring it on him

Reply 5

b9muslove

1

LePinkPanther

What about if I leave it till we've had a few quiet drinks, on our own then I say "theres something i need to tell you about somebody. you're not going to like it." or something like that, just to prepare him for bad news. I find I can tell people things when I've had a drink or two, i don't need to be blind drunk but I need to be relaxed or I'll only get upset. Argh so difficult, I don't want to upset him. I don't know how he'll take it.

I think he would be even more upset if he found out that you had known but kept this from him. I'm sure he would feel more comfortable hearing this from a you than a stranger. But if you feel you cannot tell him, don't push yourself to. Its your decision. Good luck.

Reply 6

Misogynist

18

Does he really need to know?

Reply 7

theonehitwonder

2

Just be honest with him.

Reply 8

fleur de lis

15

I was in a similar position to you a while ago, I was dreading telling him but after I was glad I had done so and although he was upset he was grateful and knew I had only told him because I cared. If your friend is as nice as you say he is then he will appreciate your honesty.

Reply 9

Ulala

I dont get it - I mean the part with drinks ? You people have to have a drink to tell somebody something ?! It's abnormal.

Reply 10

Inflicted

Only you know what will be the best surroundings to tell him about his girlfriend and the issue; personally I don't see the benefit of giving him a few drinks before telling him, are you worried he might react a certain way without alcohol?
Surely if you just sat next to him and explained the situation, the fact of you being best friends will mean he would react rationally and frankly grateful for you telling him and being concerned, right?

An alternative would be to talk to his girlfriend and ask why she tells people about his personal stuff; however I believe the 1st option is more suitable because, although your friendship with the guy is strong I believe that he should deal with the problem rather than you "fighting his battle"

Hope everything goes well and turns out in favour of your friend

difficult things to tell my friend - help

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