The Student Room Group

need some space!

I've been with my boyfriend for two months, but we see each other a lot, know each other well and each other's family etc. the problem is im starting to feel really claustrophobic as he's a touchy/feely kind of person, and i like to have my own space. plus hes already told me he loves me (a lot) and i cant truthfully say the same back yet (its only been 2 months!), which makes the situation worse. right now i dont think hes 'the one', and i dont know whether i should give it time cos we havent been together very long, or if i should split up with him. i wish i could talk to him about it, but i dont have a clue what to say without hurting his feelings.
Reply 1
Well if you're feeling uncomfortable in this relationship then you really should tackle the issues behind it otherwise the whole relationship is doomed to fail. :frown:

I know what you mean about the fact that he'd be hurt if you confronted him, but I really do think that an honest conversation is required where you outline your fears and concerns. It would be a bit unfair to simply end things just because you need more space. It would be a lot fairier to tell him your problems and give him chance to remedy the situation.

Nobody is a mindreader and it's sometimes really hard to gauge how your partner is feeling. I think whilst he may feel a bit hurt that you are not as committed to the partnership as him, ultimately he would rather discuss the issue than you leaving him.
Reply 2
i no how u feel, my bf is VERY touchy feely and sometimes it really bugs me so i end up shoutin at him because he doesnt no when to stop. i told him i dont wana be touched all the time (cuz i like to chill out in my own space, by myself) but he always takes it the wrong way like i dont want him near me or hes doing something wrong.
kylie88
i no how u feel, my bf is VERY touchy feely and sometimes it really bugs me so i end up shoutin at him because he doesnt no when to stop. i told him i dont wana be touched all the time (cuz i like to chill out in my own space, by myself) but he always takes it the wrong way like i dont want him near me or hes doing something wrong.


He touches you because he loves you, not because he wants to.
Reply 4
Why
He touches you because he loves you, not because he wants to.



yeah but i need my own space sometimes but hes always in my face
Reply 5
Talk to him. If he loves you that much he'll give you some room.
kylie88
yeah but i need my own space sometimes but hes always in my face


The whole point of a relationship is two people becoming one. So his space becomes yours and yours becomes his.
Reply 7
Why
The whole point of a relationship is two people becoming one. So his space becomes yours and yours becomes his.



becoming one?? i dont think so mate!
Reply 8
Why
The whole point of a relationship is two people becoming one. So his space becomes yours and yours becomes his.


That doesn't mean you're still not two people. I need time to myself sometimes regardless of whether it's from a partner, family or friends. It's just how I unwind. Equally, I've been on the side where I just want to be with the other person a lot, but it's only because I cared for them. It's all about finding balance.

OP: Talk to him.

I always prefer it when people are open and honest with me even if they're telling me things I don't want to hear.
Reply 9
kylie88
becoming one?? i dont think so mate!


You're both wrong.

Relationships aren't supposed to be all emcompassing where you smoother eachother until the spark dies and you can't stand the sight or eachother, nor is it social accessory to pander to your own whims. It is about balance, spending equal time with and away from eachother.

Do you really want to become indistinguishable from one another?
Nix!
That doesn't mean you're still not two people. I need time to myself sometimes regardless of whether it's from a partner, family or friends. It's just how I unwind. Equally, I've been on the side where I just want to be with the other person a lot, but it's only because I cared for them. It's all about finding balance.

OP: Talk to him.

I always prefer it when people are open and honest with me even if they're telling me things I don't want to hear.


has to be done for you both owns good.
Nix!
You're both wrong.

Relationships aren't supposed to be all emcompassing where you smoother eachother until the spark dies and you can't stand the sight or eachother, nor is it social accessory to pander to your own whims. It is about balance, spending equal time with and away from eachother.

Do you really want to become indistinguishable from one another?


I'm talking about true love. Not some fling a drunk girl and a plastered guy initiated at a club which is based on texts and MSN conversations.
Reply 12
It'll take you a while to find true love then mate. Most girls don't dig being smothered like that.